The Third Avalanchian Civil War

[Demonus Requiem]

"The King is Dead" Requiem said quietly. Looking acrossed his office at the screen showing the King'. The Minister of Chance let out a tired sigh, closing his eyes and leaning back in his chair. The Region was in a state of unrest, the other Ministers were constantly fighting amongst themselves, things were not going well. There needed to be a change. He didn't want to set off the war himself, but he knew he had to prepare.

Reaching for the phone on his desk, he dialed up the one person he knew he could count on. "Ann, you and I both know there's a war coming. Together, you and I have a chance of getting through this with minimal casualties." He paused, listening for a few moments "Alright, yeah, sounds good. I'll see you when you get here." He said, hanging up the phone. He had an ally now, the leader of Agaither would work with him. He needed to make a few more calls though. The old Queen perhaps, or the leader of Fedaystan, although he wasn't sure how much he trusted them. They had a tendancy of being rather... Evil.

[TeeDtopia]

TD260 looked at the readout on his screen, sighed, then pressed a small button. Throughout the facilicity, the intercom crackled to life.

"Gentlemen. Gentlewomen. Scientists. Continue about your business, but I want anyone with weapons training to take defense protocol 1. I don't think we'll need it, but be prepared to raise the shields. I've got some business to accomplish."

With that, he turned off the monitor. Thoughout the testing facility that doubled as his capital city, everything was normal, barring 5 figures who stepped out of their labs, and turned towards their posts. He watched them go, on his security cameras, then looked back at his desk.

Defense protocol 1... Project "Bunker"... This city could sustain itself in case of emergency, but only if we get the shields up... I can't be too careful. I won't let science and humanity be lost.

[Tentaklia]

"Your Holiness. Have you heard the news?" Sarah asked.

"About the king's death? I have", the prophet replied.

The prophet of Tentaklos and Minister of Something, Sah Rimnir, was sitting in his office with his assistant Sarah Nyan. Sarah was diligent in her work, devout in her faith and one of the people Sah trusted most.

"What should we do now?" she asked.

"Since there is no heir apparent there will be a power struggle between the other ministers. However, I probably won't participate."

"Why not? Your Holiness?"

"I simply don't feel I would make a good ruler, at least not of a people as godless as the Avalanchians."

"What about a nation of Tentaklists?"

"Do you mean like a theocracy?" the prophet asked surprised.

"I guess..." Sarah replied hesitantly.

"That actually sounds like a good idea. Of course the other ministers would never allow me to declare all of Avalanchia a theocracy, but I could take a smaller area for myself... Sarah, make an announcement. I wish to speak to all of my disciples tonight."

That night

Sah Rimnir was standing on a podium with hundreds of his followers standing in front of him.

"Why have you gathered us, oh great prophet?" a voice from the crowd asked.

"There is no longer a place for us in this godless land", the Prophet responded.

"Then where shall we go?" the another voice asked.

"We will make a place for ourselves", the prophet answered. "The area around Sahrim City and Avalanchia River will now belong to us. Now that the king is dead, Avalanchia is in chaos. This is our opportunity to take a piece of land and make it our home."

The crowd cheered at the announcement. They would live in a land free from sin, where no one would bother them and try to make them stray from the path.

It didn't take long for the eager Tentaklists to move to their new home. A lot of them were already living in Sahrim City and didn't even have to move.

To: Her Majesty, Queen Raya of Avalanchia
From: Sah Rimnir, Prophet of Tentaklos, Former Minister of Something
Subject: Declaration of independence

Your Majesty,

I, Sah Rimnir, hereby declare that the area surrounding the river formerly known as Avalanchia River, now known as Tentacle River, will belong to the newly founded nation of Tentaklia.

You now have two choices:
-Accept our independence and gain an ally in the impending civil war.
or
-Try to fight us and thereby deplete military resources that would be better spent elsewhere.

It is your choice how we go from here, but remember that it is my personal wish that we remain on good terms with each other.

Yours sincerely,
Sah

[The Outlawed Lands]

Upon hearing of the King's Death, Outlaw, the Autocrat of the Outlawed Lands, began scheming how he would take over Avalanchia.

"Dartison, have the border patrol on Red Alert. Any sight of immobilizing forces from any of the neighboring nations will be met with deadly force.", Outlaw said over speaker to his Chief Adviser Dartison.

"Yes sir.", Dartison replied.

"What do you think our next move should be?", Outlaw asked.

"I would start by unifying the Outlawed Lands. We need to find out where The Town of Camilla stands. Either with us, or against us. Perhaps we should open up communication and send a Delegate to her Fortress.", Dartison suggested.

"Great minds think alike." Outlaw laughed.

"Make it so."

[Destructication]

"Oh screw this" Said Destructication's dictator, face enshrouded by darkness.

"General, all troops to the border, ain't no body getting in this country. The king is dead? Long live the king."

"Y-yes sir." replied the general, nervously grabbing his dossier "I'll get right on it." and with that, the general hurried away.

"Hmmph, those bloody idiots think they'll be able to take over our lands, I'm sure of it. Well, I'll make DAMN sure that they can't."

"...Who IS the dictator talking to?" Wondered the General, before being carted off and replaced for his thought-crime.

[Slightly New Latveria]

The Exiled minister of War was sitting in Opera house in the his private box, A man entered the Minister's box, "Sir the King is dead, and there are riots in the streets." said the large messenger, "Put them down, Violently in need be, better yet, release the Griffins." The Minister said his eyes obscured by his glasses. "Today an Empire is Born" the Minister said to nobody in particular.

[Demonus Requiem]

There were reports coming of the other Ministers, and a few other major land owners, making movements. Requiem sighed, trying to phone again. He could understand why the leader of Fedaystan might be too busy to answer the phone, but he couldn't understand why they couldn't at least put an answering machine in.

Sighing, he took up a piece of paper and began writing.

To:Former Minister of All Things Maniacal, Fedaykin
From: Former Minister of Chance, Requiem
Subject: Alliance

As you're no doubt aware, the King is dead. The other Ministers are plotting, taking up arms, planning to overthrow the current system, and I'll admit, a change is needed. I have already aquired the assistance of Agaither in this matter. I am now asking you also to join us.

It is my intention to bring peace back to our region. The sooner, the better, preferably with minimal casualties. However, casualties are unfortunately a necessary thing in a war, and make no mistake, war is indeed what this will be. You know my military is not the strongest in our region, however, I have the tactical abilities to guide your soldiers, direct your attacks and win this war. Avalanchia will belong to us, and not some insane dictatorship.

I await your response.
Requiem Dominus Mortalis

After a moment of reading the short letter out again, Requiem nodded, sending it off.

[Fedaystan]

Fedaykin had read the message of his neighbour thoroughly, multiple times even. WA meetings had kept him busy, by now the civil war was about to errupt any moment. As former Ambassador of all things maniacal, he should welcome this opportunity, but his heart wasn't into it. Lately, the delegate had been in contact with the Queer, developing a new found sense of respect. And what about this? His forces guided by a foreign power? That sounded like being reduced to a hitman.

He came to a decision.

"Orderly, please deliver a message to Crematoria. Fedaystan's forces will lend their strength to the Queen's cause. As long as Requiem doesn't leash out against Phoenixia, he shall be considered an ally, if he should, the mightiest army of this region will make him pay. There is another message to be delivered to Queen Raya. I humbly pledge my service to the crown, the past shall be forgotten. Also my heartfelt condolences, the King was a great man and a formidable opponent. That's all for now."

[Demonus Requiem]

Upon recieving his reply, Requiem began to plot. His nation's army was of course, not that strong, however, thanks to the grand fortune he had made during his time as Minister of Chance, he could afford to hire a top rate mercenary force. In fact, his casino's continued to bring him revenue. He would not likely find an ally with the Queen, she would more than likely desire to return herself to power, things would have to change of course. That didn't mean however that he couldn't play along. Offer to assist the queen, bolster her forces with his 'meager' forces, take her down from within. With the Queen under his control, Fedaykin should be easy enough to get to agree, at least for a while, after that, it was anyone's guess what would happen.

Requiem's biggest concern though, was TD. The technological powerhouse. If he could bring them under his control, he could take out Fedaykin comepletely. As big as his military may be, there is no way he'd be able to handle an attack from all sides. If he could take Fedaystan and TeeDTopia, the southern half of Avalanchia would be his. From there he'd just have to work his way North. Phoenixiah and Tentaklia.

If he marched directly on Fedaystan, he would not be able to convince the Queen that he wanted to help her, he'd have half the region in his name. He'd have to find a way to defeat her. Tentaklia on the other hand, he believed that he would be able to work a deal with. It's Leader always seemed like a sensible fellow, if a little nuts about his religion. Taking Subspace should be easy enough, if his resources were correct, it was experiencing a great deal of unrest, and Spiridon... Well, he'd probably leave them alone. They kind of weirded him out. Ignoring them, all that would be left would be The Outlawed Lands, and the mysterious one in the far north. He would have to be careful with them. After that is was just a matter of cutting over the water and taking over the last few. Nothing too difficult.

...This was going to take a while

[Phoenixiah]

Queen Raya stood leaning against the window frame, looking out over Avalanchia City. It was a grey day. There seemed to be a lot of grey days. But the city was still awash with colour, the bright red flags of Phoenixiah hanging from every window and flagpole. The people were patriotic, Avalanchians to their very soul, and full-heartedly believed in the Queen’s claim to the throne. They stood beside her and were willing to lay down their lives for her.

Feh, Phoenixiah. Just a shard of what was once the glorious Avalanchia. When the King had died she’d attempted to take the throne, but with no heir to back up her claim she was unable to control the warring factions that had sprung up in the wake of the King’s death. Old rivalries and machinations had raised their heads as her once-loyal followers all made a grab for power, tearing apart the great nation like wild dogs on a carcass. It was only through emergency negotiations that outright civil war was averted and the country divided into separate nations, each ruled over by one of the powermongers. She herself had claimed the capital and the lands to the west of it.

Oh, Avalanche. This wouldn’t have happened if he’d still been alive. She sighed and absently rubbed the bare patch of skin where her wedding band had been. She still wore the full black robes of a widow. Though their marriage had originally been political she had cared for him, nay even loved him. But now he was gone and here she was trying to keep what was left of their nation together.

There was a screwed up piece of paper on the table. A letter from Sahrimnir. Curse that self-proclaimed prophet. This wouldn’t do. Avalanchia was being carved up into smaller and smaller pieces. She had to take back the throne. And for that she needed allies…

Well, guess she was back on the market. A new consort wouldn’t go amiss, and it would certainly secure her power base. Hmm, but who? If she allied with Outlaw they would dominate the north, quickly pushing out the smaller nations and be ready to initiate a push into the south. Somehow though she doubted that he’d consider such an offer. Requiem? He had the biggest nation and populace and bordered her own, but he seemed to play more defensively and wouldn’t push for war. Gah, what a nightmare. More than ever she missed Avalanche.

A servant knocked and cautiously entered, baring a letter. She took it and opened it. It was from Fedaykin. A smile tugged her lips as she read it.

“Send a message to Fedaystan,” she spoke to the waiting servant “Say that the Queen requests an audience with Minister Fedaykin…”

[Fedaystan]

The message was brought before the delegate. It bore the royal crest of Avalanchia, a smile crossed Fedaykin's face. A meeting? Well, this certainly was more than he had anticipated.

"Chancellor, prepare my private stealth plane and the Guard. My duties take me up north, to Phoenixiah. I put the nation in your capable hands... I shall return soon."

[TeeDtopia]

To: Phoenixiah
From: TD260
Re: The Brink


My Leige- I have heard of the nations mobilizing after the death of our great leader. The only boarders I intend on expanding are those of humanity's knowledge. Therefore, I intend to stay out of this fight. However, you are the queen, and although they rejected your claim to the throne, I do not. If you have need of me, call upon me and I shall respond.

Your Loyal Minister,

TD260

ab uno disce omnes, ad meliora, crescat scientia vita excolatur, ad quod damnum

[Demonus Requiem]

Requiem sat in his office, several levels below ground, thinking on Fedaykin's response. Finally he came up with an idea. It was risky, but it could work. He'd have to convince the Queen that he was on her side. That would convince Fedaykin, and they could eliminate TD. With TD out of power, Requiem hoped that he would be able to convince the others that as he had the greater technological skill than they did. From there, Fedaykin would be surrounded, making him easier to target. The biggest problem with this would be his location. With Fedaykin working with the Queen, and the Queen being on the other side of Demonus Requiem, it would place him in a weak position. At least until Fedaystan was conquered. Of course, that is why he would want to 'reinforce' the Queen's army with his own. Agaither also had an army, however small it may be.

He reached for his phone and dialed the numbers to The Queen "It's Requiem, if you've got the time, I'd like to have a word with you"

"Of course, Minister Requiem. You are my neighbour after all. Why do you wish to speak with me?"

"I first would like to give my sincerest condolences, the King was a good man." He said softly. This he meant completely, the old King was a good man. "Secondly, as I'm sure you're well aware, the other Ministers are preparing for war. I have spoken with Fedaykin on the matter, and I know that I alone do not have the capabilities to help bring our country together. However, I have allied myself with Agaither, and we are willing to assist you in reclaiming your rightful place on the throne, if you are willing to have my help"

"This seems a strange proposal my dear Requiem. You seem to prefer to stay out of such war-mongering matters. Why the sudden change of heart?"

Requiem paused for a moment before speaking "Self preservation. The northern nations are far more aggressive, and as I've stated, my military is not very great. A strong tactician I may be, but I cannot hold back the northern tide on my own, I need allies. Beyond that, you are a good Queen, you treated your subjects fairly while your husband was alive, and your people loved you. Why would I want a tyrant like Outlaw, or a theocratic madman like Sah Rimnir on the throne? Our people have suffered enough by the death of our King. They need not face more"

"Self-preservation is a valid excuse. You have financial might, and border onto my own nation. Plus you have proved yourself a loyal follower in the past. I will accept your offer of an alliance. Together we shall help retake Avalanchia."

Requiem smiled lightly "Thank you, My Queen. I will send what forces I have available to aid in your defense" He said "Long live the Queen" He said, hanging up the phone softly, sitting back in his chair once again. It was a very comfortable chair. Only the best after all. Raising his voice, he called for his aide who came immediately. "Send a third of our forces to Phoenixiah to garrison their defenses and await further orders." He told the man. Requiem really needed to learn the guy's name. The man nodded and left immediately.

[The Outlawed Lands]

The delegate sent to Camilla's Fortress returned to the Outlawed City.

"And what news come of Camilla's Fortress?", asked Dartison.

"None sir, they wouldn't even let me in.", said the delegate.

"Strange... Very well, return to your normal duties. I will inform our gracious leader."

Dartison decided to tell Outlaw what became of the visit in person.

"Sir?"

"Ah, Dartison. Come in, you caught me practicing my putting.", Outlaw said.

"But sir it is much too cold for golfing in the Outlawed Lands.", replied Dartison.

"Hah! Right you are Dartison. But you see I am practicing for when I take over the Southern nations. I hear they have fantastic golf courses, and the weather is absolutely splendid."

"Right." Dartison clears his throat and says, "Anyways, the delegate returned."

"And?", Outlaw asked.

"There was no response."

"Odd, well I don't see Camilla as much of a threat anyways. We can look into that matter at a later date. But for the time being we should make plans.", Outlaw said.

"Like?", Dartison asked.

"Start recruiting and training for the military. We will need quite the force to take over Avalanchia. Don't think for a second that these other nations will simply roll over and die."

"Right, I was thinking, we should contact Queen Raya.", Dartison suggested.

Outlaw sat there for a moment, thinking about the suggestion. "If you are implying we should become an ally with the Queen, it isn't that bad of an idea. Though we should assume that many of the other nations are doing the same."

Dartison nodded, understanding Outlaw's concern. "Well we can think about this for a little while longer but we shouldn't take too much time, or else the other nations could turn the Queen against us."

"Send a delegate to the Queen. I request an audience with her majesty. Now leave me be, I need to practice my putting."

Dartison nodded and left to begin giving out orders.

[TeeDtopia]

TD sat at his computer, and sighed.

I'm glad I completed project Zeal before all this happened... I'd rather try to weather the storm than run from it, but if there's no choice...

I won't let our work get lost in the chaos of war.

[Destructication]

"I knew having spies and bugs in every Avalanchian state would come in handy." congratulated the dictator. Especially since it was his own idea "messenger boy!" he called " I need to contact a few people. First of all, send the Queen my regards, and my regret over the death of the king. he was a good man. In fact, I even remember when I thwarted an attempt on his life with my trusty boomerang. I loved that boo...wait, that's not what I'm talking about. Why on Earth would you get me off topic like that, boy?"

"I...I didn't sir." The boy whimpered.

"Sure. I'll give you this one pass, since I hate repeating myself."

"T-thank you sir"

"Now, since I hate repeating myself, I won't remind you to tell the Queen about my regrets over the king's death. Now, tell Requiem that if he starts a war with Destructication, no one's leaving that battle alive. And finally, to TD, tell him that he knows what to do. He'll know what to do."

"Yes sir, right away sir.", said the boy, running away from the crazy dictator.

"BAHAHAHAHAHAHA, nothing like the fear in a young boy's face to make you feel young again."

[TeeDtopia]

------ ALERT ------

--INITIATING EMERGENCY PROTOCOL--

--ALL NON-SANCTIONED TECHNOLOGY ERADICATED--

--34 BUGS DELETED--

--ERROR DETECTED IN PERSONNEL RECORDS--

--ALL ERRORS WILL BE QUARANTINED--

--15 PEOPLE MOVED TO QUARANTINE--


TD looked at the message on his screen, and shook his head.

"What the FUCK does that even mean..."

You will know what to do my ass. At least I removed the spies.

You ain't sapping my shit this time.

[Demonus Requiem]

"Hm... Most curious..." Requiem mused, upon reading the message. If there were an actual messenger, he would have shot them without hesitation. Luckily, he kept his plans to himself. So any spies that might have been hanging about wouldn't know anything, and would eventually be forced to leave empty handed. Or end up getting killed by the police, or anything really. His luck would remove any issues for him. Knives raining from the sky seemed to take care of unwelcome visitors the best though. They never seemed to hit the innocent, it was an interesting thing for him. For now, his only goals were to wait and watch what happened. Things would be interesting the next few days.

[Phoenixiah]

“Ma’am,” said the servant, poking his head around the door “Lord Fedaykin has arrived.”

Queen Raya looked up from her papers “Excellent. Send him in please.”

The servant bowed and made his exit. Raya took off her reading glasses and leant back into her chair. She’d chosen to host their meeting in her private study; it was smaller and more intimate than the boardroom usually used for diplomatic meetings, plus it was a hell of a lot more comfortable. She’d chosen her outfit with care; although still all in a widow’s black it was rather tight and clung to her every curve. She wasn’t the sort to wear extremely low-cut tops and have her cleavage hanging out like some kind of common whore, but she’d never heard a complaint about tight clothes before. And after all, she wanted to make an impression.

Fedaykin entered the room and she rose to greet him. He bowed down on one knee, taking her hand and kissing it.

“My liege.”

“A pleasure to see you again, Minister Fedaykin.” She smiled and gestured towards the table “Please, take a seat.” He did as he was bade and she joined him, noticing with a sly smile her outfit had indeed been noticed. She retrieved two china cups “Tea?”

“Please.” He waited until she had poured and took a sip “What was it you wished to see me about?”

“This Avalanchia situation.” Raya scowled “My nation has been torn apart by traitorous ministers. Avalanche wasn’t even cold in the ground before they turned and started carving up the country, acting like tinpot dictators. I can’t stand for it. I won’t stand for it. Avalanchia needs to be united under my banner again. Its people need unity. And for that…I need you.”

Fedaykin bobbed his head “With respect my Queen, I might as well be one of those tinpot dictators. Fedaystan is under my control after all.”

“Look at it as a pre-emptive tithe once I’ve reclaimed the throne. Fedaykin, I know we’ve been opposed in the past, but this is not the world it was when Avalanche was still alive. We both dream of our nation back. Together we can achieve more than we could separately. So I am offering an alliance. To rebuild Avalanchia and reclaim its former glory.”

“Agreed.” Fedaykin extended his hand “For Avalanchia. The King is dead, long live the Queen. My forces are entirely at your disposal.”

Raya gratefully shook his hand “Glad to have you on board. Speaking of which,” she settled back in her chair “I’ll be looking for a new consort soon enough.”

“Oh?” Fedaykin’s ears pricked.

“I need to consolidate my power base, and there’s few better ways of securing an alliance. Plus, I admit, I could do with the company. It’s lonely at the top after all.”

“So…” asked Fed, shuffling his chair a little closer “What would you be looking for in a…consort?”

“Oh, someone who knows how to handle a country. Powerful military, unwavering loyalty, looks good in uniform. Also,” she took a sip of her tea and smirked “As good in bed as Avalanche was.”

Fedaykin coughed and spluttered. Raya grinned and continued “I think Outlaw would be a good candidate, do you agree?”

“WHAT?! I mean, ah, why would you think that?”

“Well, he does have one of the largest nations in Avalanchia.” Raya lazily traced the tip of her finger around the rim of her cup “Allying with him would secure the entire north. Between us we could easily take the smaller nations such as Subspace and Spiridon before marching onto the south. And after all, I’m sure it gets cold and lonely in the north.” The look on Fedaykin’s face was a picture. Raya grinned inwardly “Unless of course, you can think of anyone better suited…”

“I can think of a few.” Fedaykin got to his feet, slamming his fist into the table “My liege, let me prove myself to you. My forces are the most powerful in Avalanchia and I will conquer this entire nation in your name, mark my words.”

“I look forward to it.” Raya leant back in her chair with a smile “Prove yourself to me, my dear Fedaykin.”

As Fedaykin left Raya poured herself another cup of tea and drank it with a smirk.

Men. All the same.

[Fedaystan]

What a strange meeting. Fedaykin slapped himself for taking so much obvious interest in the Queen's comments about her status as a single. Her schemes are never to be underestimated, though with throwing his loyatly in the ring with her, he doubted she'd dispose of him, anytime soon at least. After all, he had a lot to offer, probably the biggest tool in her hands. Sighing, he made his way back to the newly errected Sietch Tabr.

Surrounded by his guard, the Delegate strode into the council meeting. The construction of the underground capital had been swift and excecuted with utmost perfection. Reports from Destructication stated, that they had done the same, but more infos were hard to come by. The entire nation prefered to stay an enigma. An enigma armed to the teeth. Pushing the thought aside, Fedaykin took his place, surrounded by his trusty staff.

"Gentlemen, the time has come. Fedaystan's armed forces shall prepare to embark on their first major campaign. The goal is simple. Retake Avalanchia for the throne. Our brothers and sisters in arms up north, in Phoenixiah, should be able to crush any resistance in this part of the region.I need detailed plans for possible invasions of our neighbours, coordinate yourself with the Royal HQ. In the meantime, send word to the Ministers DRTJR and TD260. We need to know, where they stand, on our side or the losing side. Reactivate our old ELoE channels, they might come in handy." He paused for a second, looking from one of his own to the next. "I am very proud and honoroed to be accompanied in this hour by the finest Fedaystan has to offer. Ya Hya Chouhada!"

[Tentaklia]

Sarah Nyan entered the Prophet's office.

"You wanted to see me, Your Holiness?"

"Yes, Sarah. It appears that Her Majesty has refused our offer of an alliance."

"So, what do we do now?"

"Our highest priority is to protect our borders. This is our land now and no godless heathens will take it from us!"

"I agree, sir."

"Tell Admiral Lakeside, General Striker, General Paine and Colonel Andrews that I want to meet them in an hour."

"Right away, Your Holiness."

---

One hour later, five people were sitting around the big, round table in the middle of the Holy Office.

Edward Lakeside, admiral of the Tentaklian navy, a muscular man with a bushy black beard and an eyepatch.

Serenity Striker, general of the Tentaklian air force, a serious-looking woman with blonde hair kept in a neat ponytail and a perfectly kept uniform.

Cornelius Paine, general of the Tentaklian army, a huge man whose uniform was not quite as perfectly kept as general Striker's.

Athena Andrews, colonel in the Tentaklian army, a rather young woman who seemed somewhat confused as to why she was sitting here among the big-shots.

And finally, the Prophet himself, Sah Rimnir, as usual dressed in his rainbow-coloured ceremonial robes he definitely stood out among them.

"Now", the Prophet began. "As you might have heard, the queen of Phoenixiah has refused to ally with us. I will see if we can find other allies, but for now we are on our own."

"Our army will have no trouble keeping our borders safe", General Paine exclaimed.

"I am glad to hear that, General Paine. General Striker? Admiral Lakeside? I hope that our airspace and shores are equally safe?"

Striker and Lakeside nodded.

"Good, good. Now, Colonel Andrews. You might be curious as to why I have called you here as well."

"Indeed, Your Holiness."

"Well, you see. I have decided that sometimes we might need something a little more... covert. We need a secret service. Based on your resume, you seem like an excellent choice to lead this new organization. Also, General Paine recommended you. So, what do you say? Do you accept this position?"

The colonel looked very thoughtful for a minute and then said "It would be an honor, your Holiness."

"Excellent."

"Just one question, though."

"Hm?" the Prophet reacted.

"What will this secret service be called?"

"How about... P.A.L.A.D.I.N."

"Would that stand for anything in particular, Your Holiness?"

"If you think of anything, feel free to tell me. For now, let's just say it's top secret."

[Phoenixiah]

~Friday~

The nations of Phoenixiah and the Outlawed Lands are united in celebration today as their two leaders, Queen Raya and Outlaw, were officially wed in a lavish ceremony after a whirlwind relationship. In an official statement a palace spokesman stated that both leaders agreed this would be a vital and progessive move in the region's diplomacy. With the union of Phoenixiah and the Outlawed Lands, alongside the absorption of Spiridon, Subspace and Destructication, the combined nation now dominates the entire northern area of Avalanchia. We of the newly United Lands wish our new leaders all the best, and hope that their marriage will be a long and happy one.

~Saturday~

The nation mourns at the news that King Outlaw sadly passed away last night. According to Queen Raya, the only witness to the tragedy, Outlaw accidently mistook a glass of cyanide for a glass of wine. Whilst staggering to get help he tragically slipped and fell repeatedly onto a newly-sharpened sword. Grief-stricken as the nation is, Queen Raya has courageously stepped forth and accepted the position as sole leader, her first commandment being that the entire nation should be renamed Phoenixah after her old nation. We people of the former United Lands, now as citizens of Phoenixah, salute the bravery of our new Queen and look forward to a new era of peace and prosperity.

Queen Raya has stated that as a memorial to her former husband a statue of Outlaw will be erected in a corner of a park somewhere.

[TeeDtopia]

TD walked back into his office and leaned against the wrench. The damage the spies had done was subtle, but extensive. Thankfully he had managed to repair most of it, and the subsystems were back on-line. He sat down in his dark office, and turned on his computer. A notification went off, stating he got mail. Opening the email, he read it, and snorted.

Opening his email program, he composed a message back to Fedaykin.

To: Fedaykin
From: TD260
Re: Sides

Dear Sir,
I have no intention of siding on either your side, nor the losing side. Indeed, if something is discovered from an experiment, it was not a loss. As such, the only borders I am expanding are that of human knowledge. I answer to one person in a call to action, so unless they personally wish to ask for my assistance in their hour of need, I will not be joining the fight. I wish you a good day, and well fought battles ahead.

Your Loyal Minister,

TD260

ab uno disce omnes, ad meliora, crescat scientia vita excolatur, ad quod damnum

[Destructication]

"Sometimes you need to do things yourself" said the dictator, particularly loudly, but to no one in particular. "Easy, girl" he said o his bright red horse, as he stood outside of the technological marvel that was TeeDtopia. he dismounted, and whispered into his horse's ear "Spider, 2Y Banana" and nodded. The horse ran off, and the dictator walked jauntily into the capital.

TD sat in the blue glow of his monitor, contemplating the future, the war, what to eat for dinner, and why the window suddenly went dark, wait, wha-

*CRASH*

A shadowy figure in red and black burst through the windows, shattering them, and landed dead center in the room, back to the shocked man at his desk.

"What in the name of the doctor was that?" asked TD, remarkably calm, yet obviously filled with rage.

"Oh, come on. As if it could be anyone else." Said the dictator, turning towards TD, with an all-too familiar smile on his face.

"The front door was open, like always..." said TD, sighing audibly, realizing who he was talking to.

"Oh, what fun would that be?" asked his old friend, jokingly "When would I even be bothered to just take the front door?"

"Ok, fine, but what do you want, Minby?"

"Heh, Minby..." he trailed off for a second, thinking back "There's a name I haven't heard in a while. Come on, Tristan, how long have we known each other? Aren't we on a first name basis?"

"Fine, Leo. Why are you here?"

"We lost two kings in how long? And neither of them were my fault? Come on. Something's up with the bitch quee-Uh, I mean Raya. And with that thing I stole from her, there's no way she isn't coming after me."

"Wait, what did you steal from her?" Asked TD, scared to actually know what his crazy old friend had done.

"Doesn't matter. What's important now is that I need protection. Reinforcements. Robots, cyborgs, androids, robot-androids, cyborg-robots, all those things."

"...those are all basically the same thing"

"Or ARE they?"

"They are"

"Are they?"

"They are."

"...ok, still. I'm gonna need more forces. A lot more. Or some of the best robots in the entire world, which are produced right here, but none other than the smartest man in the 'verse"

TD was flattered for a moment by the compliment, and by the reference to his favorite Space-Western comedy/action TV show that was canceled after one season, but knew of the ramifications if he were to supply an enemy of the queen with support. "I can't do it, man. I'm neutral in this war, I'm not getting involved."

"Ok, how about some of those mechs that you can walk around in for my soldiers."

"I already said no"

"How about one big one for me, with heated seats and a cup holder."

"...I'll get you one with the seats, but no cup holder"

"But how am I gonna hold my big gulps? With my flamethrower hand, or my buzzsaw hand?"

"...Fine, you can get the cup holder."

"SWEET! Alright, thanks, bro! You know, if you ever, EVER need me, just call, and there's a 60% chance I'll be right there."

"Ok, yeah, bye"

The dictator turned to leave, but before he was out of the door, he turned around. "Hey, Tristan?"

"Yeah?"

"CANNONBALL!" He shouted, running back towards the shattered windows, jumping out, landing on his horse, and riding away into the night.

"Something ain't right with that boy." Mused TD to himself.

[Tentaklia]

Once again, the heads of Tentaklia's military forces were gathered in the holy office of the holy Prophet. The Prophet spoke.

"As I'm sure you are aware, we are now bordered to the north and south by the two largest nations in Avalanchia."

"The situation to the south isn't really much different", Athena Andrews, supreme commander of P.A.L.A.D.I.N., said. "Demonus Requiem and Agaither have always been close enough to practically be considered one country. It's just more official now."

"True", the Prophet replied. "And so far, they have not attacked us. Hopefully, Requiem will be willing to keep it that way... Sarah!"

"Yes, your Holiness?" the Prophet's secretary responded.

"Send a message to Requiem."

From: His Holiness Sah Rimnir of Tentaklia
To: His Highness Requiem of Demonus Requiem
Subject: Treaty of non-aggression

Dear Requiem,

In these turbulent times, the last thing either of us needs is another enemy. Therefore it is my wish that the peace along our border will be kept. In order to ensure this, I propose that we sign a treaty of non-aggression. I look forward to hearing back from you soon.

Yours sincerely, Sah Rimnir

"Now", the Prophet resumed. "Our big problem is to the north. Queen Raya is working rather quickly and now she is right at our border."

General Paine of the Tentaklian army said "I've got troops stationed along the entire northern border. Phoenixiah certainly won't get in without a fight."

"That's good", the Prophet said. "But I fear it won't be enough."

"What about Destructication?" General Striker of the air force suggested.

"Hm?"

"Destructication is the only part of northern Avalanchia that does not yet belong to Phoenixiah. I'm sure they'd like to keep it that way."

"Are you suggesting an alliance with Destructication? Hm, yes. That could be very beneficial for us... Sarah!"

"Another letter, your Holiness?"

"Indeed."

From: His Holiness Sah Rimnir of Tentaklia
To: His Highness Minby of Destructication
Subject: Alliance

Dear Dictator of Destructication,

Phoenixiah has rapidly been absorbing country after country in the northern parts of Avalanchia. I fear that either of our nations could be Raya's next target and then the other will probably soon follow. In order to prevent this, I propose an alliance. United we stand, divided we fall. What do you say, Minby?

Yours sincerely, Sah Rimnir

"Now", the Prophet said. "All we can do is wait."