Why you Polkopia!
Why did you have to beat us in the host voting!
Why did smelly, stinky old Esportiva have to host a WorldVision for a second time?
Why didn't Rushmore win the host vote!
Why did you make me not compete for this edition?
It's me Gertrude Pullman, and you all have a lot of explaining to do! Why oh why, for this edition, some muppets from the Liberty Party went on to represent us? Why couldn't we send the Family Principles party, where we teach wholesome, good values to the youth? We all know that they are being corrupted by violent video games, and it is our job as adults, to protect them, not to mention the are being whores by stealing all the men we are supposed to get! And another thing, Why did I get to represent Electrum Diplomatic Offices?
I was the only one to sign up for this nation all those years ago when no-one wanted to do it, but no, you guys didn't let. But I still signed up behind your back anyways for the past few editions, until all of a sudden you decided to replace me! Why you! You will pay for this! I have hijacked the broadcast for the second half of the Electrum votes to vent my frustration! Luckily, I submitted my forms before the politicians did for next edition, so don't worry, I, Gertrude Pullman will be back with
"Everybody Sucks," because no-one likes to vote for my entry!
Now all of a sudden, everyone votes for the politicians, and they're about to get more points than I ever achieved! This is simply unacceptable and I have to vent my frustration. You all suck, and you know it, so I'm writing a song next edition, and you all better be prepared, because I will be! This is my revenge to you all! That, I promise. Okay, so now they're telling me to get on with the votes, so I will.
On one point, Kwadai. I mean, I don't know why you would vote for Kwadai...
On two points, Gregoryisgodistan. This guy, right here, has total respect for his people. More importantly, he likes gruel, so I'm happy. It's time that children learn how to eat spartan foods again, and not that processed rubbish that we keep hearing about on the news. It's just not good for you.
On three points, Polkopia. Why them! Why did you have to be on the list! I would certainly prefer to travel to a clean and nice region like Rushmore,where Electrum or Kalosia are rather than stinky old Esportiva! Hmph!
On four points, Silkjd. Seriously, no one could understand your lyrics, how are you even up there on the first place! It was probably the Electrumite youths that put you in this list, didn't they. Those silly youth, I will have to teach them a lesson soon.
On five points, Plaschea. You know what Plaschea reminds me of? Shea butter, like the ones found in moisturisers. Mmmm I love the smell of shea butter.
On six points, Yttribia. Again, a stinky Esportivan nation. Must be the youth of Electrum doing this. Down with Yttribia, down with Yttribia! They never even voted for my entries! Hmph! And why can't no-one pronounce their nation name! I performed in Yttribia, and I still don't know how to pronounce their name, or their city which the WorldVision was held at! Come on!
On seven points, Bad Nazis. No, we don't want glitter or harmony! In fact, we should ban glitter! It just gets everywhere, and then they get stuck on you, and you have to clean it out! Disgusting Bad Nazis, disgusting! I tell you, I get
glitter bombed by the youth everywhere I go, and then I get glitter mail, where I open letters to find glitter everywhere! Why, oh why is this even here!
"Alright lady, that's enough step out of the camera!"
Why you, what's going on!
A man comes on screen and tazes the old lady, where she's writhing on the floor.
Don't worry Polkopia, she'll be fine. I'm Brian McCormack, the national President of the Liberty Party. That lady took far too long to finish the voting, so I've decided to finish it for her. What an incredibly tedious task. Don't worry, we won't be competing next edition, as we've already advertised our party to the global audience, and discredited one of the world's largest mistake. So let's get on to the big points, hail Capitalism!
On eight points, Teague. Ah, a nice place, Teague. You know what else is nice?
AirElectrum, one of the world's largest carriers taking you to over fifty destinations around the multiverse. Book now for more information.
On ten points, Normandy and Picardy. I have nothing else to say but that they are excellent. Good job from them. They're just as good as
Dream Games, who makes the newest and best developments in gaming technology. You should invest from them, or open some stores in your nation! They are seriously that good.
And finally, on twelve points, Talvezout! Awesome job Talvezout, well done, nothing more to say. Well, I have to say that due to Electrum laws, I must disclose that I am a large shareholder of AirElectrum and Dream Games, but that's not going to stop you from checking out our products, because they are of a higher quality. Besides that's a minor point, and you've probably forgotten about that point by now, because you all have small attention deficits. Not my fault. Anyways.... can we get an ambulance here? She's still flailing around the floor like a fish. Gertrude?
Ah, she'll be fine. Just go to the next nation already, this has gone far too long.
Posted: Fri Apr 24, 2015 9:10 pm
