Vareiln wrote:Nationstatelandsville wrote:"Mr. Smellslikeshit," Lewis said to Fel, "since you insist upon raising your hand like a mentally handicapped penguin in a starched tuxedo, thereby disturbing my class and spreading your pit stench, I expect
you to answer the question and then report to Headmaster Crowley's office for breaking the rules. And then take a shower. Seriously. You smell like dog."
Beneath Fel's cloak, his face was twisted with confusion.
"Okay then... 18 apples and 7 bananas?"
Fel then got up and left the room like the the teacher told him to.
Goddamn... Guy's got every damned screw loose."Now to find Mr. Crowley's office..." he mumbled to himself.
"Correct!" Lewis said cheerily, though it was quite obvious that he wasn't actually happy at all, "Now, fuck off."
Lewis erased "PEMDASS" from his bored and raised the chalk, obviously prepared to write something more.
"Now, obviously Pem-dahs does not work both ways," he continued, "No. Instead, we must do an inverse of Pem-das called 'Trigonometry', because acronyms are hard. Before we continue, I shall tell you that, in the Pemdasic and Trigonometric processes, an American numerical is called an 'exponent' and an European numerical is called a 'crumpet'. In algebraic terms, the exponent is represented as this..."
Lewis proceeded to draw a
Mars symbol.
"...and a crumpet is represented as this..." he resumed, drawing a
Venus symbol, "and can alternatively be called a 'copper'. In my class, we say crumpet. So, in Trigonometry, you divide the crumpet by 2.3, not 2, 2
.3, in order to find the exponent. Now, you only do that if it is
even. If it is
odd, the problem is unsolveable, and your teacher is an asshole. If you receive a problem like that on a worksheet, tell him this by drawing an ass."
He erased the Mars and Venus symbols, replacing them with an infinity symbol.
"That symbol is called a 'black guy', 'cause it's not racist if it's true," Lewis finished, "Now, tomorrow, we'll be learning how to do Pem-dahs and Trigonometry with decimals, but for now, I want you to do the problems on pages 10-12 of your math book, excluding word problems and problems 17, 20, 22, and any of them after 34. Should you finish before class is up, you can get an early start on your homework, which is to write a five-page summation of the 'Ptolemic law'. You know, the one with the triangles. I'm free for questions and beatings. Just walk up to my desk in a neat, orderly line starting on my left. My name, by the way, is Baron Sensei Saint Lewis Jameson, but you can just call me Baron Sensei Saint Jameson."
Lewis sat back down in his chair and picked up his favorite book (the novel form of the movie,
Night at the Museum), making it perfectly obvious that he didn't understand any of the titles he just said.
"Remind me to fail that kid who just left," Lewis said, acting as though he wasn't going to do it anyways, no matter what James did, "What's his name?"