I have many jokes. Take a look.
1.There were two guys that went on an expedition to the jungle, and when they were walking through the trees, all of a sudden a whole tribe of cannibals appear and they Tie them up and take them to their village. When they get there, they take them to the village leader, untie them, and the leader says to them in bad english:
"I give you 2 option. You prefer death or ugga bugga?"
The two guys look at each other with frightened looks and the first one says:
"I don't know what it is, but I prefer ugga bugga."
The village leader nods, and turns to face the tribe and shouts:
"UGGA BUGGA!!!!" And the whole tribe rape the guy on the spot. When they finished, they told him he was free. The leader then faced to other guy and said:
"Death or ugga bugga?"
After seeing what they did to his partner, he says in a firm voice:
"I prefer to die."
The village leader nods, turns to te tribe and says:
"He prefer death. But first.......UGGA BUGGA!
2.So, hydroxide, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walk into a bar. The bartender shouted "OH SNaP!"
3.A man and a friend are playing golf one day. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: "Wow! That is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You are truly a kind man."
The other man replies, "Yeah, well, we were married 35 years."
4.Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking... And one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away...Florida or the moon?"The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooo, can you see Florida.???"
5.When a customer left his cell phone in my store, I scrolled through his saved numbers, stopped at "Mom" and pushed send. His mother answered, and I told her what happened."Don't worry," she said, "I'll take care of it."A few minutes later, the cell phone rang. It was "Mom.""Melvin," she said, "you left your cell phone at the convenience store."
6.Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"
Hope you enjoy, and consider giving me those stocks
Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 1:27 pm
