[Drafting] Commend United Gordonopia

[Consular]

Yes/No? There was a draft a while ago that sought to commend Kazmr (the same player), but it was less than stellar and eventually fell by the wayside. This is a second draft of some points I threw together a while ago but apparently entirely forgot about until now.

The last paragraph is naturally going to be controversial for some.

UG is currently CTE yes but that can always be corrected and doesn't detract from their deservedness.

The Security Council:

Notes that United Gordonopia also directly controls many other nations, most notably Kazmr, a nation with many accomplishments under its own name.

Observes the commitment of United Gordonopia to cooperation between nations on the global stage. The nation has hosted an innovative joint exposition between nations of the regions Greater Deinstad and Nova, as well as two Baptism of Fire sporting tournaments, these being preliminaries to the World Cup that offered generous opportunities for practice and advice for new nations. United Gordonopia is further a longstanding and steadfast member to the Bredubar Covenant, providing considerable material support to what has become one of the biggest and most respected forces to stand against the horrors of slavery in the world.

Admires the dedication of United Gordonopia to providing excellent advice to other nations. United Gordonopia has published a range of useful information, from guides on how to create and maintain successful businesses, to studies and research on activity and trends in the global economy. In addition to this, the nation has published some highly regarded information on how nations and regions can protect themselves and their communities from invasion. United Gordonopia is well renowned for their efforts in building bridges, meaning understanding and eventual reconciliation, between otherwise disparate and very often hostile communities.

Recognises the service of United Gordonopia as a successful two time World Assembly Delegate of Lazarus, during which the region saw substantial activity and prosperity. Of particular note is the tireless efforts of United Gordonopia as writer then editor of the Lazarene Gazette, which saw the paper to the most successful and active period in its history.

Applauds the unwavering and continuing commitment of United Gordonopia to the unqualified defence of regions from unjustified invasions. United Gordonopia has served as soldier then leader of the Lazarene Liberation Army, an organisation with a strong record of success in defending. Notable successes in this career include the liberation of Hogwarts and coordination of a large force to free the region of Paradoxia, both of which were occupied by invader organisations condemned by this body. Additionally, the dedication of United Gordonopia to the ongoing security of important historical regions such as Paradoxia, Haven, and Greater Deinstad cannot be understated.

Highlights the crucial and heroic role of United Gordonopia in Lazarus' darkest hour. In a series of events which shocked the world, Lazarus was subjected to a sudden coup by its then Delegate Stujenske, and subsequently was invaded by forces of the New Pacific Order, a tyrannical regime condemned by this body for its hostile actions. Despite efforts of resistance, many natives were aggressively purged from the region, and Lazarus was reformed into an oppressive puppet state that served the interests of the New Pacific Order. In a ploy that required great tenacity and courage, United Gordonopia was able to completely deceive the New Pacific Order and gain the Delegacy, only to betray them in what they had thought their moment of triumph, restoring Lazarus to rightful native control. Without this selfless action, it is likely Lazarus would have been lost forever.

Hereby commends United Gordonopia.

[Adytus]

Ambassador Mike Lynn walks in,

This proposal is well written, and on behalf of the government I represent, we will be in support of this proposal. I hope you have the best of luck getting this to vote, and the resources of my nation are available to help. The deeds that you have listed seem more than acceptable for support. Opposition to this draft should not be to overbearing thanks to your more than stellar proposal. However, if UC is actually CTE, and the nation of Kazmr is still around, you would probably have better luck campaigning for this draft if it was directed towards Kazmr. I see no reason why recognizing Kazmr instead of United Gordonopia makes much of a difference if they are controlled by the same person. If you decide to go forward with UG, my government will still support the proposal. It is not a critical issue for me. I agree that it does not detract from their deservedness, but perhaps it would be a good idea to see if UG can be brought back while this draft is being discussed.

[New Dukaine]

"Ambassador, this looks more like an Internet blog than a resolution. I am opposed. Also, there are r4a violations everywhere!"

[Consular]

"Ambassador, this looks more like an Internet blog than a resolution. I am opposed. Also, there are r4a violations everywhere!"

It is written in a different style to my past resolution but is still well within the norms of Security Council writing.

I don't beleive I referenced the "real world" anywhere in this.

[Bhang Bhang Duc]

"Ambassador, this looks more like an Internet blog than a resolution. I am opposed. Also, there are r4a violations everywhere!"

It is written in a different style to my past resolution but is still well within the norms of Security Council writing.

I don't beleive I referenced the "real world" anywhere in this.

I don't think you have either. I think it is incumbent on the previous poster to point out these alleged "violations".

Not sure about the last paragraph though. I mean it was as Kazmr that he broke the NLO, not UG.

[We Are Not the NSA]

It's well written, but I feel there are a few overarching issues. For one thing, I don't understand a word of what was said about roleplay, which is probably more my fault than yours. Anyways, in general it feels like each clause is composed of several clauses that are clumped together into big, unorganized paragraphs.

In regards to what New Dukaine said, it is pretty clear that he just doesn't know who Kazmr is, but that is actually a good point. One of the pillars of writing for the SC is that you must assume that the reader has no idea about what you are talking about. Everything should be explained in excessive detail, while also being as concise as possible. Your paragraphs are long and dull, and unlikely to catch the attention of the average nation who looks at it.

Also I see what ND is talking about with the R4a violations, but they are in fact not violations. There are a few areas where you come close to rules violations, but you never actually cross the line, so you should be fine in regards to that.

[ROM]

I'd support this. Kazmr/ United Gordonopia has done a lot for NS, and this is well written. Good job.

[Flanderlion]

Yes/No? There was a draft a while ago that sought to commend Kazmr (the same player), but it was less than stellar and eventually fell by the wayside. This is a second draft of some points I threw together a while ago but apparently entirely forgot about until now.

The last paragraph is naturally going to be controversial for some.

UG is currently CTE yes but that can always be corrected and doesn't detract from their deservedness.

The Security Council:

Notes that United Gordonopia also directly controls many other nations, most notably Kazmr, a nation with many accomplishments under its own name.

Observes the commitment of United Gordonopia to cooperation between nations on the global stage. The nation has hosted an innovative joint exposition between nations of the regions Greater Deinstad and Nova, as well as two Baptism of Fire sporting tournaments, these being preliminaries to the World Cup that offered generous opportunities for practice and advice for new nations. United Gordonopia is further a longstanding and steadfast member to the Bredubar Covenant, providing considerable material support to what has become one of the biggest and most respected forces to stand against the horrors of slavery in the world.

Admires the dedication of United Gordonopia to providing excellent advice to other nations. United Gordonopia has published a range of useful information, from guides on how to create and maintain successful businesses, to studies and research on activity and trends in the global economy. In addition to this, the nation has published some highly regarded information on how nations and regions can protect themselves and their communities from invasion. United Gordonopia is well renowned for their efforts in building bridges, meaning understanding and eventual reconciliation, between otherwise disparate and very often hostile communities.

Recognises the service of United Gordonopia as a successful two time World Assembly Delegate of Lazarus, during which the region saw substantial activity and prosperity. Of particular note is the tireless efforts of United Gordonopia as writer then editor of the Lazarene Gazette, which saw the paper to the most successful and active period in its history.

Applauds the unwavering and continuing commitment of United Gordonopia to the unqualified defence of regions from unjustified invasions. United Gordonopia has served as soldier then leader of the Lazarene Liberation Army, an organisation with a strong record of success in defending. Notable successes in this career include the liberation of Hogwarts and coordination of a large force to free the region of Paradoxia, both of which were occupied by invader organisations condemned by this body. Additionally, the dedication of United Gordonopia to the ongoing security of important historical regions such as Paradoxia, Haven, and Greater Deinstad cannot be understated.

Highlights the crucial and heroic role of United Gordonopia in Lazarus' darkest hour. In a series of events which shocked the world, Lazarus was subjected to a sudden coup by its then Delegate Stujenske, and subsequently was invaded by forces of the New Pacific Order, a tyrannical regime condemned by this body for its hostile actions. Despite efforts of resistance, many natives were aggressively purged from the region, and Lazarus was reformed into an oppressive puppet state that served the interests of the New Pacific Order. In a ploy that required great tenacity and courage, United Gordonopia was able to completely deceive the New Pacific Order and gain the Delegacy, only to betray them in what they had thought their moment of triumph, restoring Lazarus to rightful native control. Without this selfless action, it is likely Lazarus would have been lost forever.

Hereby commends United Gordonopia.

I'm not even sure where to begin with the inaccuracies/idiocy that is the final paragraph.

Greater Deinstad? Not Greater Dienstad?

As United Gordonopia has CTEd, but Kazmr was active today, wouldn't Kazmr be his main nation?

Personally, I'm against this commendation, and I think there are people actually deserving of a commendation, who are still active currently helping players which would be far better choices for a commendation. But then again, this is your draft, pick whomever nominee you want.

[Benevolent Thomas]

I'm not even sure where to begin with the inaccuracies/idiocy that is the final paragraph.

Greater Deinstad? Not Greater Dienstad?

As United Gordonopia has CTEd, but Kazmr was active today, wouldn't Kazmr be his main nation?

Personally, I'm against this commendation, and I think there are people actually deserving of a commendation, who are still active currently helping players which would be far better choices for a commendation. But then again, this is your draft, pick whomever nominee you want.

Super Salt detected here

UG/Kazmr is beyond a worthy candidate and people have been swirling this idea for a while (even before his heroics in both Lazarus and Paradoxia).

In regards to what New Dukaine said, it is pretty clear that he just doesn't know who Kazmr is, but that is actually a good point. One of the pillars of writing for the SC is that you must assume that the reader has no idea about what you are talking about. Everything should be explained in excessive detail, while also being as concise as possible. Your paragraphs are long and dull, and unlikely to catch the attention of the average nation who looks at it.

I'm going to agree with this. I'm also going to say that the final paragraph is wordy beyond comfort. Something about these paragraphs makes the whole thing... less sexy. Great content though! We've just got to work on the format and presentation of the proposal.

[Kaboomlandia]

I am tentatively in support based on the target, but the text walls are a turn-off.

[Consular]

I'm not even sure where to begin with the inaccuracies/idiocy that is the final paragraph.

Greater Deinstad? Not Greater Dienstad?

As United Gordonopia has CTEd, but Kazmr was active today, wouldn't Kazmr be his main nation?

Personally, I'm against this commendation, and I think there are people actually deserving of a commendation, who are still active currently helping players which would be far better choices for a commendation. But then again, this is your draft, pick whomever nominee you want.

Your opposition is not surprising in the least, considering your region of residence. Sorry if I don't take your opinions on this particularly seriously.

Regarding the comments of everyone else about the style, I'm inclined to agree. I couldn't quite get past the feeling that it just reads awkwardly. I just wanted to try out a different style but eh, ill rewrite in a more conventional way when I get the time.

[Dreamstar]

Supportive. Mostly.

[Unibot III]

Very supportive. One of the most admirable players across a number of platforms, Gameplay, GE&T, II, to have made his mark on the game in the past decade. A real peacemaker and a creative force.

[Cormactopia II]

I would be happy to support a commendation of United Gordonopia, but I cannot support this commendation proposal as written. Osiris will not lend its support to the furtherance of the agenda you're pushing in the last paragraph -- particularly efforts to further undermine the legitimate government of The Pacific by declaring it "a tyrannical regime." The last paragraph does a disservice to both the Pacific Order as well as United Gordonopia.

Your commendation may well pass despite controversy over the last clause and whatever opposition may arise to it, but you would have a much stronger consensus commendation if you made the last paragraph less incendiary and focused more on Stujenske and less on your personal disdain for the Pacific Order. You're going to make everything that comes before the last paragraph a small and easily forgotten appetizer that comes before the decadent main course. United Gordonopia deserves to have all of his achievements noticed, not for this to become entirely about the last clause just to further the agenda you're pushing.

[Solorni]

I don't think any of the Lazarus stuff is commend worthy given the state of Lazarus. So if that stuff was cut out or at least severely limited and put into perspective I could support this.

[Consular]

I would be happy to support a commendation of United Gordonopia, but I cannot support this commendation proposal as written. Osiris will not lend its support to the furtherance of the agenda you're pushing in the last paragraph -- particularly efforts to further undermine the legitimate government of The Pacific by declaring it "a tyrannical regime." The last paragraph does a disservice to both the Pacific Order as well as United Gordonopia.

Your commendation may well pass despite controversy over the last clause and whatever opposition may arise to it, but you would have a much stronger consensus commendation if you made the last paragraph less incendiary and focused more on Stujenske and less on your personal disdain for the Pacific Order. You're going to make everything that comes before the last paragraph a small and easily forgotten appetizer that comes before the decadent main course. United Gordonopia deserves to have all of his achievements noticed, not for this to become entirely about the last clause just to further the agenda you're pushing.

Well to be fair that part was written ages ago, shortly after the events in question actually, at a time when emotions were high and pretty much everyone (including yourself ) felt that way.

I don't really care what does a "disservice" to the Pacific's tyrants, but the objection is noted. I'll think about it at least.

The resolution has plenty of other points and I don't beleive they are too badly overshadowed by the last clause. And I'm equally not about to marginalise his role in the Lazarus coup, it being a very heroic moment in his career, nor will I gloss over the regime behind that coup merely because that would be politically convenient for certain parties.

I don't think any of the Lazarus stuff is commend worthy given the state of Lazarus. So if that stuff was cut out or at least severely limited and put into perspective I could support this.

The current state of Lazarus, or your opinion of its state anyway, has little to do with UG. It was undeniably quite prosperous when he was a major part of it. I'm not cutting everything about Lazarus and that's a ridiculously unreasonable request to be frank.

[Solorni]

Insiders have told me Lazarus is and has been run as essentially a FRA colony. Is running a GCR as a colony, even a prosperous one commendable?

[Benevolent Thomas]

Insiders have told me Lazarus is and has been run as essentially a FRA colony. Is running a GCR as a colony, even a prosperous one commendable?

I think you're going to have to do better than fictional hearsay to undermine the credibility of this resolution's assertions of Lazarus' success during Kazmr's time there and the heroics observed when they put an end to the coup.

[Solorni]

Insiders have told me Lazarus is and has been run as essentially a FRA colony. Is running a GCR as a colony, even a prosperous one commendable?

I think you're going to have to do better than fictional hearsay to undermine the credibility of this resolution's assertions of Lazarus' success during Kazmr's time there and the heroics observed when they put an end to the coup.

Have I ever lied before about such things? Whether you choose to believe it or not, there are prominent members of Lazarus who formerly have held high positions who felt the region was run as a FRA colony.

[Consular]

I think you're going to have to do better than fictional hearsay to undermine the credibility of this resolution's assertions of Lazarus' success during Kazmr's time there and the heroics observed when they put an end to the coup.

Have I ever lied before about such things? Whether you choose to believe it or not, there are prominent members of Lazarus who formerly have held high positions who felt the region was run as a FRA colony.

There are prominent members of NationStates who have asserted that Balder was run as a UIAF colony. What would you say about those assertions? Baseless? Yeah.

[Alustrian]

A great candidate - definitely supported. Lazarus was an important part of his career. I would not worry too much about trying to please everyone (or even all of the major WA players) with the draft - if a recent commendation can be considered representative, then it is perfectly possible to pass a commendation with a wide margin even if a few important WA delegates are automatic/partisan no votes.

[Cormactopia II]

A great candidate - definitely supported. Lazarus was an important part of his career. I would not worry too much about trying to please everyone (or even all of the major WA players) with the draft - if a recent commendation can be considered representative, then it is perfectly possible to pass a commendation with a wide margin even if a few important WA delegates are automatic/partisan no votes.

When did it become partisan to oppose using the Security Council to repeatedly bash The Pacific, more than a year after the NLO? This should be a resolution about commending United Gordonopia/Kazmr, not a resolution about trashing The Pacific.

[Consular]

I think it does a pretty admirable job of both really.

[Onderkelkia]

Have I ever lied before about such things? Whether you choose to believe it or not, there are prominent members of Lazarus who formerly have held high positions who felt the region was run as a FRA colony.

There are prominent members of NationStates who have asserted that Balder was run as a UIAF colony. What would you say about those assertions? Baseless? Yeah.

Lazarus is part of the Founderless Regions Alliance, whereas Balder's military was never a constituent of the United Imperial Armed Forces. In addition, the nature of these alliances is different, with the FRA being a political organisation with its own central institutions, whereas the UIAF was a shared military command structure where each partner had an absolute veto over each individual operation and all appointments authorised under the UIAF banner.

Regardless of whether you agree that Lazarus is an FRA colony, the relationships between Lazarus-FRA and Balder-UIAF should not be equated.

Incidentally, Lazarus is only in the FRA because of a coup where Viktoria Gryfynn, North East Somerset and Charles Cerebella were purged on false grounds - a coup which Funkadelia has confirmed that defenders supported because they wanted to see Lazarus in the FRA. A coup which Kazmr happily defended.

[Consular]

I didn't even remotely imply the two organisations were similar, but thanks for that rather useless input.

The point was that Rachel's assertions are denied by members of the region itself, are seemingly fueled by personal grievances, and are really quite baseless. Much like the attacks on Balder.

You'll probably try to dispute that for your own obvious political reasons, but this is all somewhat tangential and I'd rather this thread didn't turn into another whining about the Lazarus purges thread.