NationStates

Well this is the first time I have done anything like this, so here goes,

I haven't submitted this yet, but I thought I should get some feedback before I do anything else with it. See what you think, I'm open to making adjustments.

Commend The Commonwealth of Crowns

A resolution to recognise outstanding contribution by a nation or region

Description: The World Assembly Security Council,

RECOGNIZING the success of The Commonwealth of Crowns to serve as a community of Monarchy based Nations on NationStates.

APPLAUDING the lasting longevity of the Region, surviving more than four internal Coups and its effort to rebuild and re establish a friendly environment without fail.

NOTING The Comonwealth of Crowns as a bastion of free speech and Democracy and the services of the many Secretary Generals and Governments to further the success and equality of the Region and to provide stability in vulnerable times.

PRAISING the commitment to Roleplaying and the active participation of new and inexperienced Nations within the Region.

ADMIRING the long maintained Diplomatic relations across NationStates, distinct lack of enemies and willingness to work with others at an inter-regional level, in particular to Defending and helping other Regions that have fallen to Raiders.

APPRECIATING the services of long committed members, including in particular the Founder, founding nations, residing nations and expatriate nations over the past 5 years.

BELIEVING that surviving 5 years intact is alone worthy of a Commendation by the World Assmebly Security Council.

HEREBY COMMENDS The Commonwealth of Crowns for its distinguished 5 years service as a Monarchy based but accepting beacon to all ideologies, friendly and welcoming atmosphere, active Roleplays, fair and regular Government with Elections, a strong teamwork mentality and its lasting contribution to NationStates, inspiring other Regions old and new.

Thoughts?

As an ally of TCoC I fully support this endeavour.

I spy, with my little eye.....some rule 4 violations.

Where abouts are there Rule 4 violations? I haven't mentioned any one by name.

-Mr Money- wrote:Commend The Commonwealth of Crowns

A resolution to recognise outstanding contribution by a nation or region

Description: The World Assembly Security Council,

RECOGNIZING the success of The Commonwealth of Crowns to serve as a community of Monarchy based Nations on NationStates.

APPLAUDING the lasting longevity of the Region, surviving more than four internal Coups and its effort to rebuild and re establish a friendly environment without fail.

The word "lasting" isn't really necessary, since "longevity" implies lasting by itself. Also, I understand the confusion, but it is either "reestablish" or "re-establish". Source. I hate words like that.

NOTING The Comonwealth of Crowns as a bastion of free speech and Democracy and the services of the many Secretary Generals and Governments to further the success and equality of the Region and to provide stability in vulnerable times.

Commonwealth. Also, the word "and" is used 4 times in a single sentence. I would replace "Secretary Generals and Governments" with "leaders" to make the sentence a bit less awkward to read.

PRAISING the commitment to Roleplaying and the active participation of new and inexperienced Nations within the Region.

ADMIRING the long maintained Diplomatic relations across NationStates, distinct lack of enemies and willingness to work with others at an inter-regional level, in particular to Defending and helping other Regions that have fallen to Raiders.

"To" should probably be changed to "by".

APPRECIATING the services of long committed members, including in particular the Founder, founding nations, residing nations and expatriate nations over the past 5 years.

BELIEVING that surviving 5 years intact is alone worthy of a Commendation by the World Assmebly Security Council.

Lol. No it isn't. This is the only part of the proposal I don't agree with, for the usual reason of because of the precedent it sets. Also, you spelled "Assembly" wrong.

HEREBY COMMENDS The Commonwealth of Crowns for its distinguished 5 years service as a Monarchy based but accepting beacon to all ideologies, friendly and welcoming atmosphere, active Roleplays, fair and regular Government with Elections, a strong teamwork mentality and its lasting contribution to NationStates, inspiring other Regions old and new.

I'd use "beacon of acceptance". "Elections" shouldn't be capitalized. Can we get some examples of the regions inspired by TCoC? It's possible that they may be worth mentioning in the proposal.

Post review edit: Took me minute to find the R4 violations, but then I remembered that the term Roleplay is illegal (Gameplay is as well). I've pointed out all the examples of it I could find in your draft. CG if that's not what you were talking about, please let me know.

The two mentions of roleplay(ing) was indeed what I was referring to.

Looks fine to me, apart from all the issues that have been pointed out. Nice. And thank you for trying to recognize the CoC.

Crazy girl wrote:The two mentions of roleplay(ing) was indeed what I was referring to.

We Are Not the NSA wrote:

-Mr Money- wrote:Commend The Commonwealth of Crowns

A resolution to recognise outstanding contribution by a nation or region

Description: The World Assembly Security Council,

RECOGNIZING the success of The Commonwealth of Crowns to serve as a community of Monarchy based Nations on NationStates.

APPLAUDING the lasting longevity of the Region, surviving more than four internal Coups and its effort to rebuild and re establish a friendly environment without fail.

The word "lasting" isn't really necessary, since "longevity" implies lasting by itself. Also, I understand the confusion, but it is either "reestablish" or "re-establish". Source. I hate words like that.

NOTING The Comonwealth of Crowns as a bastion of free speech and Democracy and the services of the many Secretary Generals and Governments to further the success and equality of the Region and to provide stability in vulnerable times.

Commonwealth. Also, the word "and" is used 4 times in a single sentence. I would replace "Secretary Generals and Governments" with "leaders" to make the sentence a bit less awkward to read.

PRAISING the commitment to Roleplaying and the active participation of new and inexperienced Nations within the Region.

ADMIRING the long maintained Diplomatic relations across NationStates, distinct lack of enemies and willingness to work with others at an inter-regional level, in particular to Defending and helping other Regions that have fallen to Raiders.

"To" should probably be changed to "by".

APPRECIATING the services of long committed members, including in particular the Founder, founding nations, residing nations and expatriate nations over the past 5 years.

BELIEVING that surviving 5 years intact is alone worthy of a Commendation by the World Assmebly Security Council.

Lol. No it isn't. This is the only part of the proposal I don't agree with, for the usual reason of because of the precedent it sets. Also, you spelled "Assembly" wrong.

HEREBY COMMENDS The Commonwealth of Crowns for its distinguished 5 years service as a Monarchy based but accepting beacon to all ideologies, friendly and welcoming atmosphere, active Roleplays, fair and regular Government with Elections, a strong teamwork mentality and its lasting contribution to NationStates, inspiring other Regions old and new.

I'd use "beacon of acceptance". "Elections" shouldn't be capitalized. Can we get some examples of the regions inspired by TCoC? It's possible that they may be worth mentioning in the proposal.

Post review edit: Took me minute to find the R4 violations, but then I remembered that the term Roleplay is illegal (Gameplay is as well). I've pointed out all the examples of it I could find in your draft. CG if that's not what you were talking about, please let me know.

Thank you. I shall make suitable changes. I appreciate the assistance.

Maybe rewrite the last paragraph so you end up with the very last sentence reading "Hereby Commends ... "

The way you have it written at the moment it just looks a little messy and it decreases the impact of the statement.

Bhang Bhang Duc wrote:Maybe rewrite the last paragraph so you end up with the very last sentence reading "Hereby Commends ... "

The way you have it written at the moment it just looks a little messy and it decreases the impact of the statement.

Good point, there is a lot in that paragraph, I agree. I will change it.

We are deeply honored and indebted as a region for acknowledging our history and our efforts for holding the monarchist banner high in Nationstates ! I also thank those who have chipped in to correct the format of the proposal !

Having read through this, it ain't bad, but I do have a question still: how is your region any different from any of the other RP regions?

Rom wrote:Having read through this, it ain't bad, but I do have a question still: how is your region any different from any of the other RP regions?

I've still got to edit it, so I will try and include that when I do so.

It's on hold for the time being as I only have 1 WA Endorsement now and can't submit it to the floor anyway. Once I get the endorsements I need, I will make the nessesary changes.

Right, I'm good with Endos now, where did I get to with editing this?

How does the region stand out at all?

• How is it better than the thousands of other monarchy regions?
• Is their longevity greater than that of other regions which have lasted over a decade, with or without internal coups?
• How does the CoC provide a more free society than the thousands of other regions out there that do not subjugate their members?
• Mentioning Roleplay may be a R4 violation. Also, how does CoC's RP community stand out compared to the thousands of other RP regions?
• Is having a lot of embassies Commendable?
• Also, do they have stand-out defensive operations? I've been around for a little bit of time and I've never seen the CoC's forces before.
• Having a founder not CTE'ing does not make them special.

The final clause isn't necessary. The work is not so long as to warrant a summary.

Benevolent Thomas wrote:How does the region stand out at all?

• How is it better than the thousands of other monarchy regions?
• Is their longevity greater than that of other regions which have lasted over a decade, with or without internal coups?
• How does the CoC provide a more free society than the thousands of other regions out there that do not subjugate their members?
• Mentioning Roleplay may be a R4 violation. Also, how does CoC's RP community stand out compared to the thousands of other RP regions?
• Is having a lot of embassies Commendable?
• Also, do they have stand-out defensive operations? I've been around for a little bit of time and I've never seen the CoC's forces before.
• Having a founder not CTE'ing does not make them special.

The final clause isn't necessary. The work is not so long as to warrant a summary.

Thanks for that. It's been noted.

I see nothing that warrants a commendation by the World Assembly. The region doesn't seem to stand out among other long-lasting regions, of which there are indeed a lot. Lasting a long time is impressive, but not special, and certainly not warranting of commendation.

And how is surviving a coup anything to be commended? If that was commendable you could argue that any one of the feeders, or sinkers that have been couped should be Commended.

Especially considering that 3 of those coups were done by the same one person. They kept forgiving him and letting him in, then electing him to power only for him to do the same thing. So why commend and honor them for that?

I wish to comment on the above post regarding the three time coup of our region by the same nation.

The said criminal nation , Picts, was forgiven once , only after his first coup, after a due process of law and sentencing by a Court of Justice of the The Commonwealth of crowns (CoC). Picts, served his sentence of ban of a considerable period of time, expressed remorse and then applied for readmission into the region, which was debated thoroughly and not turned down because no laws existed in CoC which can hold a nation guilty a nation twice for the same crime for which he got sentenced already and had served it.
The above reflects the rule of law in our region, The Commonwealth of crowns and the process of justice.
The said nation backstabbed the region the second time by getting elected to the Chancellor's post. After this he was permanently banned by unanimous legislation passed by the House of Nobles. Sometimes cons take advantage of a just and lawful atmosphere to perpetuate their crime.

The third time, he sneaked in a clean puppet , Sudweca , from a different IP address. Sudweca also rose up the ranks and at the opportune moment, couped the region again. It was only after he couped us that wwe came to know that Sudweca was Picts.

I do apologise, but until I am able to submit this after alterations and by acquiring the suitable amount of endorsements from fellow Assembly members, I will have to postpone this whole thing. One day I shall return to working on this, but this is temporarily closed for now.

I'll approve this once rule violations are cleared up. (Vetelo)