NATION

PASSWORD

[DRAFT] Commend Solorni

A chamber dedicated to the dissemination of inter-regional peace and goodwill, via force if necessary.
User avatar
HMS Unicorn
Spokesperson
 
Posts: 199
Founded: Jun 29, 2005
Ex-Nation

[DRAFT] Commend Solorni

Postby HMS Unicorn » Sun Oct 12, 2014 7:21 am

This is my first attempt at a first authorship in the SC and WA. It's a draft that I and my co-author have been working on for a while. I am looking forward to your feedback.
THE WORLD ASSEMBLY:

NOTES that the government of Solorni also controls Rachel Anumia.

ACKNOWLEDGES Solorni’s fundamental contributions to the establishment of Balder. During the early days of the region, Solorni helped provide conditions that guaranteed the security of the region during this transient period, and was one of the main coordinators of the convention that produced the first constitution of Balder, establishing a sovereign and democratic government for the region.

HIGHLIGHTS Solorni’s service as WA Delegate and Queen of Balder. Solorni has served as Delegate for a total of eleven months, holding the records for both longest total and consecutive time of service. Solorni achieved unique levels of support among the region, as evidenced by the unanimous approval during elections and the record number of endorsements they received. During Solorni’s delegacy, Balder has experienced unprecedented levels of activity and prosperity.

ADMIRES Solorni’s contributions to the security and stability of Balder. Solorni serves as root administrator for the forums of Balder, providing a stable and secure environment for all regional activities. During Solorni’s first term as Delegate, they oversaw the creation of the Royal Council, a body dedicated to protecting the region against external threats. Subsequently, Solorni has been a part of the Royal Council without interruption.

LAUDS Solorni’s work in Europeia, having led the region twice as President and served in multiple Ministerial positions. Solorni’s second term as President is recognized as one of the most successful in regional history, marked the foundation of modern Europeia foreign policy, and resulted in increased interregional prominence for the region. Solorni has been one of the most prolific regional recruiters, introducing numerous nations to the Europeian community. For their services to Europeia, Solorni has been awarded the Order of Republica, the highest regional honor, among several other regional awards.

REALIZES Solorni’s skills as military commander. Solorni has served as Grand Admiral of the Europeian Republican Navy, which under their leadership saw increased levels of activity and expertise, becoming an interregionally respectable military force.

APPRECIATES Solorni’s contributions to the historic region of Empires of Earth, where they served in multiple Cabinet offices. Solorni was a leading force in the revival and refounding of the region as Queen and Empress, securing its history for future generations.

RECOGNIZES Solorni as an effective diplomat. During their leadership of Balder and Europeia, they made paramount contributions towards establishing a robust diplomatic identity and thorough foreign affairs agenda for both regions. Throughout their history, they have successfully negotiated formal treaties resulting in the establishment of long-lasting alliances between multiple regions. Solorni has been a committed proponent of the ideology of independence, advocating for a pragmatic approach to diplomacy with regional interests prioritized over blind ideologies.

OBSERVES that Solorni authored SC#115 - Repeal "Liberate Land of the Liberals", and regularly contributes to discussions of new legislation for this Assembly.

APPLAUDS the charismatic leadership style of Solorni, which is characterized by a strong emphasis on community building and fostering a welcoming environment for new members. In the regions where they have been involved, Solorni has consistently created the conditions for the successful integration and mentorship of numerous new nations, many of which have continued on to serve as the next regional leaders.

COMMENDS Solorni.

Co-authored by mcmasterdonia.

User avatar
Ramaeus
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1024
Founded: Dec 18, 2012
Ex-Nation

Postby Ramaeus » Sun Oct 12, 2014 2:50 pm

This draft is over the character limit of 3500.

I'll edit this later tonight.
Just some weeb.

User avatar
Ninja Kittens
Lobbyist
 
Posts: 19
Founded: Jul 20, 2014
Ex-Nation

Postby Ninja Kittens » Sun Oct 12, 2014 4:20 pm

I wholeheartedly support this.
Ambassador Wen Xi Ren
Assigned to the General Assembly
She is a woman.
Ambassador Wan Feng Li
Assigned to the Security Council
He is a man

User avatar
Ramaeus
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1024
Founded: Dec 18, 2012
Ex-Nation

Postby Ramaeus » Sun Oct 12, 2014 9:19 pm

HIGHLIGHTS Solorni’s service as WA Delegate and Queen of Balder.Solorni has served as Delegate for a total of eleven months, holding the records for both longest total and consecutive time of service.Solorni achieved unique levels of support among the region, as evidenced by the unanimous approval during elections and the record number of endorsements they received. During Solorni’s delegacy, Balder has experienced unprecedented levels of activity and prosperity.
We don't need to know Balder's trivia. Plus, when you compare it to the other GCRs, it becomes rather unimpressive (yes, I know Balder is a very young GCR).

ADMIRES Solorni’s contributions to the security and stability of Balder. Solorni serves as root administrator for the forums of Balder, providing a stable and secure environment for all regional activities. During Solorni’s first term as Delegate, they oversaw the creation of the Royal Council, a body dedicated to protecting the region against external threats. Subsequently, Solorni has been a part of the Royal Council without interruption.
You don't need to state that Rach provides a stable and secure environment twice in the same clause.

LAUDS Solorni’s work in Europeia, having led the region twice as President and served in multiple Ministerial positions. Solorni’s second term as President is recognized as one of the most successful in regional history, marked the foundation of modern Europeia foreign policy, and resulted in increased interregional prominence for the region. Solorni has been one of the most prolific regional recruiters, introducing numerous nations to the Europeian community. For their services to Europeia, Solorni has been awarded the Order of Republica, the highest regional honor, among several other regional awards.
I'm not fond of placing regional awards within a commendation.

APPRECIATES Solorni’s contributions to the historic region of Empires of Earth, where they served in multiple Cabinet offices. Solorni was a leading force in the revival and refounding of the region as Queen and Empress, securing its history for future generations.
Care to explain how it's significant?

RECOGNIZES Solorni as an effective diplomat. During their leadership of Balder and Europeia, they made paramount contributions towards establishing a robust diplomatic identity and thorough foreign affairs agenda for both regions. Throughout their history, they have successfully negotiated formal treaties resulting in the establishment of long-lasting alliances between multiple regions. Solorni has been a committed proponent of the ideology of independence, advocating for a pragmatic approach to diplomacy with regional interests prioritized over blind ideologies.
I would say provide a few examples, but you're already past the character limit on your present draft.

OBSERVES that Solorni authored SC#115 - Repeal "Liberate Land of the Liberals", and regularly contributes to discussions of new legislation for this Assembly.
An unimpressive clause. I would remove this entirely.

APPLAUDS the charismatic leadership style of Solorni, which is characterized by a strong emphasis on community building and fostering a welcoming environment for new members. In the regions where they have been involved, Solorni has consistently created the conditions for the successful integration and mentorship of numerous new nations, many of which have continued on to serve as the next regional leaders.
Possible R4 violation. Can a nation be charismatic?

A fairly well written draft, but you do need to eliminate some of the fluff.
Last edited by Ramaeus on Sun Oct 12, 2014 9:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Just some weeb.

User avatar
Tancerlo
Spokesperson
 
Posts: 168
Founded: Jun 10, 2013
Ex-Nation

Postby Tancerlo » Fri Oct 17, 2014 2:34 am

My fullest support for a commendation of Solorni, she is definitely deserving.
Albion ♠ Come write stories with us on our community forum!

"If you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid." - A. Einstein

User avatar
Ynys Prydain
Spokesperson
 
Posts: 164
Founded: Sep 14, 2014
Ex-Nation

Postby Ynys Prydain » Fri Oct 17, 2014 5:37 pm

I support commendation, as Rach is a great player and has made solid contributions to Empires of Earth, Europeia, and Balder. But I think a couple of these clauses are problematic.

HMS Unicorn wrote:APPRECIATES Solorni’s contributions to the historic region of Empires of Earth, where they served in multiple Cabinet offices. Solorni was a leading force in the revival and refounding of the region as Queen and Empress, securing its history for future generations.

The emphasized part of this clause is a problem. I don't think a lot of EoE residents or former residents would agree with this assessment of the EoE revival. It was short-lived, and some residents were very frustrated when Rach seemed to lose interest and activity stopped. They were particularly frustrated after the Founder was allowed to cease to exist on multiple occasions, leaving the region to be tag raided on more than one occasion. Its WFE previously read "Sigh" after the tag raids, now reads ":)", and the Founder is once again on the brink of CTE.

I would re-phrase this as a more generalized commendation of her time in EoE, noting that she served in multiple Cabinet offices and then as Queen and Empress. "Securing its history for future generations" really isn't that accurate.

HMS Unicorn wrote:Solorni has been a committed proponent of the ideology of independence, advocating for a pragmatic approach to diplomacy with regional interests prioritized over blind ideologies.

I don't think bashing ideologies -- apparently all of them except independence -- as "blind" is a productive approach. It will probably garner votes against that this otherwise may not receive. I'm sure there are ways to commend her for advocating independence without bashing every other ideology. Part of Rach's success in diplomacy has been her ability to cooperate with and be respectful toward (some) people who advocate other ideologies, so taking her commendation as an opportunity to bash other ideologies seems odd.
Cormac

Χαλεπὰ τὰ καλά (Naught Without Labor)

User avatar
Unibot III
Negotiator
 
Posts: 7113
Founded: Mar 11, 2011
Democratic Socialists

Postby Unibot III » Fri Oct 17, 2014 8:14 pm

Solorni has been a committed proponent of the ideology of independence, advocating for a pragmatic approach to diplomacy with regional interests prioritized over blind ideologies.


:roll:
[violet] wrote:I mean this in the best possible way,
but Unibot is not a typical NS player.
Milograd wrote:You're a caring, resolute lunatic
with the best of intentions.
Org. Join Date: 25-05-2008 | Former Delegate of TRR

Factbook // Collected works // Gameplay Alignment Test //
9 GA Res., 14 SC Res. // Headlines from Unibot // WASC HQ: A Guide

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
✯ Duty is Eternal, Justice is Imminent: UDL

User avatar
Aperi
Attaché
 
Posts: 96
Founded: Antiquity
Ex-Nation

Postby Aperi » Sat Oct 18, 2014 12:49 am

Is this for real or am I just really stoned and it's a commendation of Salami?
Aperi
Patriot of Lazarus
Comrade Protector

My other nation is Karpathos
“Our game is being turned into a filthy and evil-smelling imperialist barrack.

User avatar
Tancerlo
Spokesperson
 
Posts: 168
Founded: Jun 10, 2013
Ex-Nation

Postby Tancerlo » Sat Oct 18, 2014 9:52 pm

It's real, but that doesn't necessarily mean you aren't stoned and craving salami.
Albion ♠ Come write stories with us on our community forum!

"If you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid." - A. Einstein

User avatar
Chester Pearson
Minister
 
Posts: 2753
Founded: Aug 02, 2013
Ex-Nation

Postby Chester Pearson » Sat Oct 18, 2014 11:28 pm

OBSERVES that Solorni authored SC#115 - Repeal "Liberate Land of the Liberals", and regularly contributes to discussions of new legislation for this Assembly.


Really? The only reason that was repealed, was because the region was refounded, and passworded, making the resolution moot. Hardly an accomplishment if you ask me....
Separatist Peoples wrote:With a lawnchair and a large bag of popcorn in hand, Ambassador SaDiablo walks in and sets himself up comfortably. Out of a dufflebag comes a large foam finger with the name "Chester Pearson" emblazoned on it, as well as a few six-packs.
Economic Left/Right: -8.88
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -3.90
-17.5 / -6
Chester B. Pearson,
Ambassador, Imperial Minster of Foreign Affairs United Federation of Canada
Premier The North American Union
Secretary-General United Regions Alliance
World Assembly Resolution Author
Recognized as one of the most famous NS's ever


Advertisement

Remove ads

Return to Security Council

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users

Advertisement

Remove ads