[PASSED] Commend McMasterdonia

[Percussionland]

It's a very good draft, and you have made several quality edits, however, I cant help but noticing that its very regional. The South Pacifics coup, refounding Australia, minister of finance in Balder, these are all noteworthy accomplishments, but they only affect one region each. Don't get me wrong, these are all large, influential regions, overthrowing a coup in one of the largest nations in NationStates can't be easy, but these are not commendation worthy. They did not have international effects, like if he organized a countercoup against The Black Riders, or merged several massive regions. I don't see a commendation in what you have. I would look into things he has done with more international repercussions, and add those.

[McMasterdonia]

As much as I respect MC, I don't think the TSP reference is justified. Whilst his help was appreciated, he was not a central figure in the regions military campaign, nor has he been particularly involved in TSP before or after.

I wasn't sure if I should comment here, I won't comment on the proposal as a whole, but wished to defend my record where the above is concerned.

Respectfully Belschaft, I served on the allied command and was responsible for coordination as assigned to me by Brutland and Norden. I was on for every single update and liaised with the heads of every military that I could possibly reach out to. I spent a lot of time approaching people, getting them online for the update missions, visiting different forums as people would message me on whatever forum they visited the most. I also sat in the 10ki chatroom and worked with them as much as possible.

I handled the communication with military leaders, minor regions that wished to help and heads of government who wished to complain about how the operation was going.

It required a great deal of effort and time on my part. I was greatly involved in the organisation of this campaign. Something that the other members of the Allied command could attest to. The Allied Command, Eluvatar, Biyah, B&N, myself and Hileville were primarily responsible for overseeing that campaign.

[Elke and Elba]

It's a very good draft, and you have made several quality edits, however, I cant help but noticing that its very regional. The South Pacifics coup, refounding Australia, minister of finance in Balder, these are all noteworthy accomplishments, but they only affect one region each. Don't get me wrong, these are all large, influential regions, overthrowing a coup in one of the largest nations in NationStates can't be easy, but these are not commendation worthy. They did not have international effects, like if he organized a countercoup against The Black Riders, or merged several massive regions. I don't see a commendation in what you have. I would look into things he has done with more international repercussions, and add those.

This entire soliloquy sounds very silly, since it does not reflect what a SC proposal should be.

I suggest you read up on past SC resolutions to make sure you get it right before you find yourself worthy to make any judgment calls on people's SC proposals.

[South Pacific Belschaft]

As much as I respect MC, I don't think the TSP reference is justified. Whilst his help was appreciated, he was not a central figure in the regions military campaign, nor has he been particularly involved in TSP before or after.

I wasn't sure if I should comment here, I won't comment on the proposal as a whole, but wished to defend my record where the above is concerned.

Respectfully Belschaft, I served on the allied command and was responsible for coordination as assigned to me by Brutland and Norden. I was on for every single update and liaised with the heads of every military that I could possibly reach out to. I spent a lot of time approaching people, getting them online for the update missions, visiting different forums as people would message me on whatever forum they visited the most. I also sat in the 10ki chatroom and worked with them as much as possible.

I handled the communication with military leaders, minor regions that wished to help and heads of government who wished to complain about how the operation was going.

It required a great deal of effort and time on my part. I was greatly involved in the organisation of this campaign. Something that the other members of the Allied command could attest to. The Allied Command, Eluvatar, Biyah, B&N, myself and Hileville were primarily responsible for overseeing that campaign.

The reality is that there were a huge number of people involved in that campaign; all six of us on the SAC, TSP's full cabinet, the CSS, allied military leaders, etc. Attributing credit is complicated; who gets what credit for which action? Did you assist? Yes. Were you central? I'm not sure if anyone but B&N can really claim to be such.

TSP is utterly peripheral to your career in NS, which has been focused on TNP. You were on the SAC as a representative of TNP, just as Biyah was there representing Osiris. I don't see any reason why someone cannot be commended for dedication to one region - look at Fudgie, Todd, Krull and Kandarin as examples - and I think the none-TNP sections of the text are weak. I think a focused commendation is more accurate than one with a reference to every region you've ever done anything in thrown in.

[Unibot III]

Recognizes that McMasterdonia worked to recreate the North Pacific Army (NPA) in The North Pacific when serving as the region's Minister of Defense and served as one of the primary contributors to what became the NPA Doctrine.

McMasterdonia did not "recreate" the NPA. He helped build an army with the same name - NPAers would be appalled to see what the NPA is today.

I don't think The Security Council should be celebrating a doctrine which has been used to invade regions regularly. The Security Council's founding mission is to disseminate peace and goodwill, not invasions.

Here's a potential redraft:

Recogonizes that McMasterdonia worked to reestablish the North Pacific Army (NPA) in The North Pacific when serving as the region's Minister of Defense. Membership in the NPS multiplied, as a result, which allowed the organization to better protect The North Pacific.

Furthermore, how you've worded the sentence suggests that membership multiplied because of the NPA Doctrine - this isn't true. Like any compromise draft, it was accepted by most, it pleased very few. Likewise, it didn't "multiply" in numbers because of McMasterdonia's efforts to build the army - the army was literally restarted from scratch.

Respects the longevity of McMasterdonia as WA Delegate for The North Pacific. McMasterdonia served as WA Delegate for a The North Pacific record of 12 months, cumulatively and 8 months consecutively. Both of these are the longest terms - consecutive and cumulative - recorded for The North Pacific. During this most recent term, McMasterdonia boasted the most endorsements of any WA Delegate within NationStates for much of this recent term as Delegate;

Huh? 12 Months? How is that record significant? Just because TNP does not often choose to keep leaders as long as they did with McMasterdonia does not mean this record is significant. It just means TNP is a rare case. Likewise, McMasterdonia boasted the most endorsements of any WA Delegate, like most of TNP's delegates, because of a mysterious bonus of WA members in TNP.

Recognizes McMasterdonia authored SCR#129, Commend Eluvatar, and also regularly contributes to the efforts of others to draft legislation for this Assembly.

We're seriously considering commending someone for co-authoring one other commendation?

Recognizes that McMasterdonia served as the Minister of Foreign Affairs for The North Pacific, during which time the region signed treaties with both Balder and Europeia. These diplomatic efforts fostered strong and lasting ties between these regions and reinforced the strength of The North Pacific within the NationStates multiverse.

During his time as MoFA, TNP signed two treaties.

Christ, could this resolution have any more pointless clauses? Truth is, McMasterdonia is well liked. But putting it down on paper is difficult, because his terms have been relatively "stable" (quiet) and un-prolific.

This resolution should stop trying to pretend that his accomplishments have all been concrete. He's well regarded because of his personality: his diplomacy, political flexibility and willingness to compromise. This isn't the kind of nominee that you can just create a checklist of accomplishments for - his success lies in who is, not what he's "done".

[Mousebumples]

Sorry for the delay, guys. Here's the updated draft:

THE WORLD ASSEMBLY:

Acknowledges that commendations should be awarded only to those nations and regions that have made an effort to go "above and beyond" the actions and achievements of the average nation or region, through demonstrative and diverse efforts that have made a positive impact on the international community as a whole;

Believes that [nation=short]McMasterdonia[/nation]'s actions have merited such a commendation, due to McMasterdonia's active involvement under different capacities in multiple regions around the world and contributions transcending the multiverse.

Recognizes McMasterdonia as a gifted diplomat. This characteristic is exemplified through the actions of McMasterdonia during terms as Delegate and Minister of Foreign Affairs of The North Pacific. McMasterdonia reinforced existing alliances with Osiris and The South Pacific, and established new partnerships with Albion, Balder, Europeia, and The East Pacific. These diplomatic efforts fostered strong and lasting ties between these regions, promoted peaceful collaboration with international leaders, and strengthened the position of The North Pacific within the NationStates multiverse.

Recognizes McMasterdonia as a skilled military commander and administrator, as he was among the primary coordinators of the liberation of The South Pacific, after [nation=short]Milograd[/nation]'s coup. McMasterdonia later served as a General in the New Southern Army and assisted in revitalizing the army of the The South Pacific in the coup's aftermath. McMasterdonia also worked to revive the North Pacific Army (NPA) in The North Pacific when serving as the region's Minister of Defense. McMasterdonia was one of the primary contributors to the NPA Doctrine, which is the NPA's current operating document that emphasizes minimization of collateral damage during warfare while permitting the NPA to operate both offensively and defensively in accordance with regional interests. Membership and expertise in the NPA grew significantly as a result of McMasterdonia's continued efforts, which allowed the organization to better protect The North Pacific.

Recognizes McMasterdonia’s contributions to the security and stability of multiple regions. McMasterdonia was involved with the efforts to refound Australia and assisted with the process through keeping the natives informed and coordinating with TITO command when the region was refounded. McMasterdonia was instrumental in strengthening the Security Council of The North Pacific, both as Vice Delegate and as a contributing member. Through this work, the community of The North Pacific has seen reinforced security and stability. Additionally, McMasterdonia continues to serve as an administrator for the forums of both Balder and The North Pacific, where innovations were implemented to benefit all forum participants.

Recognizes that McMasterdonia authored SCR#129, Commend Eluvatar, and SCR#147, Commend Astarial, and also regularly contributes to the efforts of others to draft legislation for this Assembly.

Respects the longevity of McMasterdonia as WA Delegate for The North Pacific. McMasterdonia owns the longest consecutive and cumulative Delegate terms in the history of The North Pacific. During this most recent term, McMasterdonia boasted the most endorsements of any WA Delegate within NationStates.

Admires the leadership style of McMasterdonia, which resulted in improved stability and unity within The North Pacific as a whole, and served to provide opportunities for development and advancement of newcomers both in The North Pacific and internationally. Those who received mentorship and support from McMasterdonia have passed numerous World Assembly resolutions or served in other leadership positions, such as WA Delegate, within various notable regions.

Hereby commends McMasterdonia.

Co-Author: [nation=short]Renaissancistic People[/nation]

I've got some new content in here, so be sure to check that out. I'm also not as sure that my original intro fits as well - I might need to reword/rephrase that. Lastly, given my great dislike of verb repetition, at least a few of the Recognizes verbiage will be changing at some point, but for now ... this works.

[Unibot III]

"Notes"
"Recalls"
"Observes"
"Bears in Mind" or "Bearing in Mind".

[Cormac A Stark]

The fourth and fifth clauses seem incredibly long in comparison to other Security Council resolutions. Is there a way to break them up or shorten them?

[Bears Armed]

"Notes"
"Recalls"
"Observes"
"Bears in Mind" or "Bearing in Mind".

"We particularly favour the last of those possibilities."

^_^

[Unibot III]

"We particularly favour the last of those possibilities."

^_^

Awww

[Mousebumples]

Updated draft, again.

THE WORLD ASSEMBLY:

RECOGNIZES McMasterdonia as a gifted diplomat, as seen during terms served as Delegate and Minister of Foreign Affairs of The North Pacific where existing alliances with Osiris and The South Pacific were reinforced. New partnerships were also established with Albion, Balder, Europeia, and The East Pacific. These diplomatic efforts fostered strong and lasting ties between the involved regions, promoted peaceful collaboration among international leaders, and strengthened the position of The North Pacific within the NationStates multiverse.

APPRECIATES McMasterdonia's skills as a military commander, as he was among the primary coordinators of the liberation of The South Pacific, after [nation=short]Milograd[/nation]'s coup. McMasterdonia later served as a General in the New Southern Army and assisted in revitalizing the army of the The South Pacific in the coup's aftermath.

HIGHLIGHTS McMasterdonia's efforts to revive the North Pacific Army (NPA) in The North Pacific while serving as the region's Minister of Defense. McMasterdonia was one of the primary contributors to the NPA Doctrine, which is the NPA's current operating document that emphasizes minimization of collateral damage during warfare while permitting the NPA to operate both offensively and defensively in accordance with regional interests. Membership and expertise in the NPA grew significantly as a result of McMasterdonia's continued efforts, which allowed the organization to better protect The North Pacific.

LAUDS the contributions made by McMasterdonia to the security and stability of regions, such as with Australia. McMasterdonia was involved with the efforts to refound this region and assisted in keeping the natives informed and coordinating with the Ten Thousand Island Treaty Organisation command when the region was refounded.

DETAILS, additionally, the instrumental nature of McMasterdonia's contributions to strengthen the Security Council of The North Pacific, both as Vice Delegate and as a contributing member. Through this work, the community of The North Pacific has seen reinforced security and stability.

OBSERVES McMasterdonia’s continued service as an administrator for the forums of both Balder and The North Pacific, where innovations were implemented to benefit all forum participants.

NOTES that McMasterdonia authored SCR#129, Commend Eluvatar, and SCR#147, Commend Astarial, and also regularly contributes to the efforts of others to draft legislation for this Assembly.

RESPECTS the longevity of McMasterdonia as WA Delegate for The North Pacific. McMasterdonia owns the longest consecutive and cumulative Delegate terms in the history of The North Pacific. During this most recent term, McMasterdonia boasted the most endorsements of any WA Delegate within NationStates.

ADMIRES the leadership style of McMasterdonia, which resulted in improved stability and unity within The North Pacific as a whole, and served to provide opportunities for development and advancement of newcomers both in The North Pacific and internationally. Those who have received mentorship and support from McMasterdonia have contributed to the multiverse in a number of ways, which include passing numerous World Assembly resolutions or serving in esteemed leadership positions, such as WA Delegate, within various notable regions.

COMMENDS McMasterdonia.

Co-Author: Renaissancistic People

We're coming down to the wire here, and I'll probably look to submit sometime next week, after the 4th of July (American, obvs) holiday, unless there are major issues within this text that need to be fixed. So, uh, comment now or forever hold your peace, or whatever.

[Ramaeus]

We're coming down to the wire here, and I'll probably look to submit sometime next week, after the 4th of July (American, obvs) holiday, unless there are major issues within this text that need to be fixed. So, uh, comment now or forever hold your peace, or whatever.

Aww... you can't wait till I'm the in-game Delegate for TEP? I want a chance to vote-stack FOR this.

[Mousebumples]

We're coming down to the wire here, and I'll probably look to submit sometime next week, after the 4th of July (American, obvs) holiday, unless there are major issues within this text that need to be fixed. So, uh, comment now or forever hold your peace, or whatever.

Aww... you can't wait till I'm the in-game Delegate for TEP? I want a chance to vote-stack FOR this.

What sort of ETA are you looking at? I don't want to hold on off this forever - as I think this is much overdue for McM - but ... maybe?

[Mousebumples]

One last bump before probably submitting tomorrow sometime. I'm guessing this might have gotten overlooked with all the other SC-related activity that we've had as of late ....

[Todd McCloud]

What activity?

My only question is for this clause:

McMasterdonia owns the longest consecutive and cumulative Delegate terms in the history of The North Pacific.

Is this based on what's written in the history for the region page, or all history? I could've sworn GBM or Pixiedance had longer terms.

[Mousebumples]

What activity?

My only question is for this clause:

McMasterdonia owns the longest consecutive and cumulative Delegate terms in the history of The North Pacific.

Is this based on what's written in the history for the region page, or all history? I could've sworn GBM or Pixiedance had longer terms.

Double checked the math with TNP, and I'm told that McM is 10 days short of the longest cumulative term, but holds the longest consecutive term. GBM served for 359 days, cumulatively; McM has served for 349 days, cumulatively. Thanks for the catch, Todd - I'll update the draft shortly.

[Mousebumples]

New draft with minor edits:

THE WORLD ASSEMBLY:

RECOGNIZES McMasterdonia as a gifted diplomat, as seen during terms served as Delegate and Minister of Foreign Affairs of The North Pacific where existing alliances with Osiris & The South Pacific were reinforced. New partnerships were also established with Albion, Balder, Europeia, & The East Pacific. These diplomatic efforts fostered strong and lasting ties between the involved regions, promoted peaceful collaboration among international leaders, & strengthened the position of The North Pacific within the NationStates multiverse.

APPRECIATES McMasterdonia's skills as a military commander, noting the efforts spent working among the primary coordinators during the liberation of The South Pacific, after Milograd's coup. McMasterdonia later served as a General in the New Southern Army and assisted in revitalizing the army of the The South Pacific in the coup's aftermath.

HIGHLIGHTS McMasterdonia's efforts to revive the North Pacific Army (NPA) in The North Pacific while serving as the region's Minister of Defense. McMasterdonia was one of the primary contributors to the NPA Doctrine, which is the NPA's current operating document that emphasizes minimization of collateral damage during warfare while permitting the NPA to operate both offensively and defensively in accordance with regional interests. Membership and expertise in the NPA grew significantly as a result of McMasterdonia's continued efforts, which allowed the organization to better serve The North Pacific.

LAUDS the contributions made by McMasterdonia to the security and stability of regions, such as with Australia. McMasterdonia was involved with the efforts to refound this region & also assisted in keeping the natives informed while coordinating with the Ten Thousand Island Treaty Organisation command when the region was refounded.

DETAILS, additionally, the instrumental nature of McMasterdonia's contributions to strengthen the Security Council of The North Pacific, both as Vice Delegate & as a contributing member. Through this work, the community of The North Pacific has seen reinforced security and stability.

OBSERVES McMasterdonia’s continued service as an administrator for the forums of both Balder and The North Pacific, where innovations were implemented to benefit all forum participants.

NOTES that McMasterdonia authored SCR#129 - Commend Eluvatar & SCR#147 - Commend Astarial & also regularly contributes to the efforts of others to draft legislation for this Assembly.

RESPECTS the longevity of McMasterdonia as WA Delegate for The North Pacific. McMasterdonia holds the record for longest continuous Delegate term in the history of The North Pacific & the second-longest cumulative time served as WA Delegate. During this most recent term, McMasterdonia boasted the most endorsements of any WA Delegate within NationStates.

ADMIRES the leadership style of McMasterdonia, which has resulted in improved stability & unity within The North Pacific as a whole, & has served to provide opportunities for the development and advancement of newcomers both in The North Pacific & internationally. Those who have received mentorship & support from McMasterdonia have contributed to the multiverse in a number of ways - such as passing numerous World Assembly resolutions or serving in esteemed leadership positions, such as WA Delegate, within various notable regions.

COMMENDS McMasterdonia.

Co-Author: Renaissancistic People

A couple of R4 compliant questions:

• Is referencing "military service/positions" okay? Is there precedent for this? (Looking at the APPRECIATES line above, which includes: "McMasterdonia later served as a General in the New Southern Army" - which doesn't really sound like actions of a nation as much as that of a player.)
• The ADMIRES clause also connotes a "leadership style" on a nation, which is probably okay, but not as clear as I'd prefer. Any thoughts on the legality there?
• Anything else in here that looks problematic? The last SC resolutions I passed were pre-R4, so - believe it or not - I find the SC rules more complicated than the GA ones. (At least the latter ones I understand! )

I'm hoping to submit this shortly (i.e. later tonight, perhaps), but I also don't want to get this pulled from the queue for being illegal, so a once over (or twice, thrice, etc.) from those of you who are more conversant in the SC rules would be appreciated.

[Ramaeus]

A couple of R4 compliant questions:

• Is referencing "military service/positions" okay? Is there precedent for this? (Looking at the APPRECIATES line above, which includes: "McMasterdonia later served as a General in the New Southern Army" - which doesn't really sound like actions of a nation as much as that of a player.)
• The ADMIRES clause also connotes a "leadership style" on a nation, which is probably okay, but not as clear as I'd prefer. Any thoughts on the legality there?
• Anything else in here that looks problematic? The last SC resolutions I passed were pre-R4, so - believe it or not - I find the SC rules more complicated than the GA ones. (At least the latter ones I understand! )

I'm hoping to submit this shortly (i.e. later tonight, perhaps), but I also don't want to get this pulled from the queue for being illegal, so a once over (or twice, thrice, etc.) from those of you who are more conversant in the SC rules would be appreciated.

1) Yes, it should be legal. http://www.nationstates.net/page=WA_pas ... ?start=137
2) Again, it should be legal. See the resolution linked above.
3) There doesn't appear to be anything illegal in this draft. You should be ready to go.

[Mousebumples]

A couple of R4 compliant questions:

• Is referencing "military service/positions" okay? Is there precedent for this? (Looking at the APPRECIATES line above, which includes: "McMasterdonia later served as a General in the New Southern Army" - which doesn't really sound like actions of a nation as much as that of a player.)
• The ADMIRES clause also connotes a "leadership style" on a nation, which is probably okay, but not as clear as I'd prefer. Any thoughts on the legality there?
• Anything else in here that looks problematic? The last SC resolutions I passed were pre-R4, so - believe it or not - I find the SC rules more complicated than the GA ones. (At least the latter ones I understand! )

I'm hoping to submit this shortly (i.e. later tonight, perhaps), but I also don't want to get this pulled from the queue for being illegal, so a once over (or twice, thrice, etc.) from those of you who are more conversant in the SC rules would be appreciated.

1) Yes, it should be legal. http://www.nationstates.net/page=WA_pas ... ?start=137
2) Again, it should be legal. See the resolution linked above.
3) There doesn't appear to be anything illegal in this draft. You should be ready to go.

Fabulous! About what I thought - but I appreciate the confirmation. I spotted a "he" in the text last night, which made me wonder if there was something else I was inadvertently overlooking.

Probably look to submit after the update then, tonight. Thanks.

[Ramaeus]

Just noticed a tiny mistake:"in revitalizing the army of the The South Pacific in the coup's aftermath."

[Mousebumples]

Just noticed a tiny mistake:"in revitalizing the army of the The South Pacific in the coup's aftermath."

Awesome, thanks for the catch! I'll get that edited ... and then submitted. (I'd hate to have to pull it on those grounds ... but typos drive me nuts.)

[Mundiferrum]

At vote now. Voting FOR.

[Mousebumples]

At vote now. Voting FOR.

Your At Vote bump while I was at work was greatly appreciated. (As is your vote in favor. )

[North East Somerset]

McMasterdonia did not "recreate" the NPA. He helped build an army with the same name - NPAers would be appalled to see what the NPA is today.

I don't think The Security Council should be celebrating a doctrine which has been used to invade regions regularly. The Security Council's founding mission is to disseminate peace and goodwill, not invasions.

I'm not sure why, but the italics on "appalled" made me chuckle. Still chuckling a bit...

Obviously I've voted FOR this. McM has been a powerful force for the Independence philosophy in TNP especially, but also across the game. The Independence movement has suited his gameplay style, and he in turn has moulded it to suit his and TNP's interests. Which is of course the whole point of it.

[Ramaeus]

I've happily voted FOR this proposal.

I don't think an explanation is necessary.