The Amaranth Announcer - News from the Royal City-State

[Carmini]

AMARANTH ANNOUNCER'S NEW WEBSITE LAUNCHED This morning, the Amaranth Announcer has relaunched its online offerings, giving readers an easier way to access the City-State's most popular and trusted news service. The Amaranth Announcer is the most popular newspaper in Carmini, with an estimated circulation of 400,000. But traditional print media sales have been steadily declining, and the company has been facing increasing criticism for its outdated online portal, which had not been updated since 2004. Advertisement Key changes are a "more streamlined user interface", a more refined, conservative design, a reduction of the number of ads served per page, and the removal of a region lock, opening up the website to international readers. On this last point, leaders at the Announcer said that Carminians travelling abroad still wished to read the latest news, but found themselves unable to do so due to region locking. "Holidaymakers told us that they were disappointed that they could not easily access our website when travelling abroad," said Beth Thompson, Chief Executive of the Amaranth Announcer. "We put region locking in place on the last update to our site in 2005, as our servers were being overloaded by foreign web traffic. "But this is 2016, and we can now cope with much more traffic. So we have listened to our customers and removed the region lock, allowing people all over the world to read our content for free." As before, the Amaranth Announcer's website will be supported by paid-for advertising. A "paywall", whereby content could only be accessed in exchange for a subscription fee, was considered but rejected. "Access to the news is something we consider to be a fundamental human right," Thompson said. "If all news were premium, important information such as hazardous weather alerts and important political information may not be accessible to people who can't afford it. That would be immoral." However, a subscription service will still be available. Rather than locking normal content behind it, however, the premium account will provide additional features and analysis to customers, such as in-depth analyses and other specialist news. Comments Sign up to post a comment Curmudgeon01 +23 Like | Dislike First... ever! Like the new site. Glad you didn't make it subscription only in the end. FlowerTot -1 Like | Dislike 2nd... ever! Type your response...

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COMMERCIAL: ADVERTISE YOUR COMPANY WITH THE AMARANTH ANNOUNCER With the latest website launched, the Amaranth Announcer is now no longer just the foremost news publication in Carmini, but it is also seen by millions of readers worldwide. The Announcer is no tabloid, and is a well-respected publication with trusted news and regular features - what better place to showcase your company's latest and greatest products and services? Our ad display system is simple - you pay a flat-rate fee, and you are entered into an ad display rotation. It is a first-come, first-serve system, allowing your company to regularly display in the rotation. Advertisement Our website currently accepts advertisements in the MPU (Mid Position Unit) format, with dimensions of 300x250 pixels. You can see such an ad unit to the right of this paragraph, currently filled by a local Carminian advertiser. MPUs are available at a starting rate of 50,000Ȼ ($100,000) per million ad views. Moving forward, we will begin integrating leaderboard/banner ad units at the top of articles. Due to their more visible position, these 728x90 pixel units command a starting rate of 75,000Ȼ ($150,000) per million ad views. Please note that your own artwork must be supplied in the correct sizes, along with correct payment, as well as a link to the website you wish to promote. Your ad will be displayed for as long as your budget allows. If you lack a design team, we can design a basic advertisement according to your specifications. If you are interested in advertising on our website, then please fill in this form with your requirements and submit it to our sales department: Code: Select all [b][size=125][u]Amaranth Announcer Ad Booking System[/u][/size][/b] [b]Type of ad unit required (tick as appropriate)[/b] [ ] MPU [ ] Leaderboard/banner [b]Upload URL:[/b] [b]Clickthru URL:[/b] [ ] Payment included (please tick to confirm) Note that ads displaying or linking to offensive content will not be published, and your order shall be cancelled immediately. We look forward to working with you! Current advertising rota: Indicium Image URL: http://i.imgur.com/uUmfHlR.png Page URL: N/A Comments Sign up to post a comment Comments for this article are closed.

[Carmini]

CRISIS IN ZABOLEKHOVYE Massive protests have erupted in the streets of the Zabolekhovyean city of Chernagorsk, plunging the Republic into a crisis of epic proportions. Hundreds of thousands of protestors have taken to the streets to voice their disdain at the results of recent elections, which returned a slim majority vote to both houses of government for the incumbent, left-leaning political party known as the Labourist Coalition. They are calling upon President Vyktor Sykora, himself a member of a right-wing political party called the Republican People's Party, to dissolve the government. While the protestors are ostensibly concerned about the new electronic voting system, Carminian analysts have pointed out that the problems in Zabolekhovye run much deeper than a dissatisfied electorate. "There appears to be something of a constitutional crisis at work in Zabolekhovye," said Harold Russell, Professor of Political Science at Amaranth Academy. "I will not speculate on how the Labourist Coalition managed to get its votes - whether legitimately or not - but throughout their previous time in government, they have been actively fighting with [President Sykora] whenever they try to pass something slightly progressive. "That it has now escalated to this point is concerning for the stability of the region." Advertisement President Sykora has been a vocal opponent of the Laborist Coalition, and has worked against it on numerous occasions, most notably when he stopped a constitutional amendment that would have legalised gay marriage in the country. That this amendment was later defeated in a public referendum has fuelled the President's confrontational attitude, analysts believe. "He was vindicated, he thinks he can do no wrong in the eyes of his people, and he's throwing his weight around because of it," Russell told the Announcer. "Whether he's right or wrong is not important. He's adding fuel to the fire." Prime Minister Veronika Ciernik has called for the impeachment of the President, but elements of the Zabolekhovyean army have thrown their support behind Sykora, issuing an ominous warning that they would "step in" if any "unlawful action" was taken against him. As quoted by Zabolekhovyean news sources: "I promise, I will turn that den of vipers calling itself Konstytuanta into sea of flames the moment you rise your hand on him. Nobody will be spared if you do, so remain calm - for people do not want your poison any more," General Slavomir Vitos warned. Sykora has welcomed the nationwide protests, and although he initially urged for protestors to remain peaceful, a subsequent speech to the press was far more adversarial, calling his opponents "liberal liars" and accusing them of "corruption, high treason and agenture on behalf of foreign powers". He demanded the prime minister and the entire Labourist Coalition be subjected to an investigation, claiming that he would not rest until they are "all brought to justice in front of a popular court of Zabolekhovyan nation". Carmini's position on the deteriorating scenario remains one of neutrality. On behalf of Her Graceful Highness, Juliana I, the Arch-Regent of Amaranth, Benjamin, urged all sides in the crisis to err on the side of caution. "It is [Her Graceful Highness'] sincere wish that the situation in the Republic of Zabolekhovye remain peaceful and civilised," the Arch-Regent said. "She would urge the President and Prime Minister to sit down together and discuss their concerns around a table. These are grave issues that threaten the peace, and she prays that it can be resolved amicably." When pressed on the Council of Regents' position, Benjamin insisted: "It is not our place to meddle in or comment on the internal politics of a sovereign nation. We shall monitor the situation closely, however." Comments Sign up to post a comment BalmyPotato +12 Like | Dislike Nothing good can come from this. Whether the Labourist Coalition achieved its victory through fraud, unreliable voting mechanisms, or legitimate campaigning, all of these protests and posturing and the military supporting different parts of the government is only going to lead to violence. Maybe even war! People just need to shut up, sit down, and sort it out like adults. Jeeze. FlowerTot -51 Like | Dislike What a weird country! Colossus +1 Like | Dislike I have friends in Chernagorsk, I hope they're alright. Type your response...

[Carmini]

THEOCRATIC REGIME BANS MORE THINGS; ONLOOKERS UNSURPRISED The so-called Republic of Huguenoxe has banned some more things that make its leaders uncomfortable, according to the latest announcement by the president of the so-called Republic, Yves-Montgomorie. In a statement littered with oxymorons, he told attendees: "I believe in common sense, the Bible and Human Biology all of which show there are only two genders, male and female, God created only two genders, even if you believe in evolution you believe mammals have only two genders this is common science that basically everyone understands except a small schizophrenic minority that does not even matter. In defense of Human biology and sane minds, I have passed a new law labeling Transgenderism and it's offshoots for what they really are mental disorders." Advertisement Flying in the face of years of internationally-recognised psychological and medical research, he finished by stating that access to gender reassignment surgery was to be revoked. "I am also now banning access to Transgender surgery, all clinics offering the surgery will be banned officially, a man will not be allowed to cut off his penis and claim he is a woman if he wants to do this, then he will be sent to therapy or his Pastor, but surgery will be out of the question," he elaborated. "Transgenderism is Gender dysphoria," he finished, amusing physicians globally and angering everybody else. Critics within Huguenoxe responded to Yves-Montgomorie in a similarly cartoonish fashion, with local transgender activist Jenny Mardouxe hitting back at the announcement: "Jean Yves-Montgomorie is sexist cis-scum homophobic, transphobic fascist, he needs to check his straight cis privilij." International civil rights campaigners are concerned at this latest reduction of civil liberties in the so-called Republic, not only because the leading oligarchy show no signs of halting their progress to the creation of a totalitarian theocracy, but also because their local civil rights campaigners show no signs of being a credible, competent opposition force. "We are not surprised that this religious state is banning things that they do not like, using the words of an ancient book to support their actions," Greg Harris, Chief Officer of the Carminian Human Rights Watch office, told the Announcer. "Concerned, yes, but not surprised. We would be more surprised if they did not do this. "We are more surprised at the complete lack of any kind of credible opposition force that could challenge this move," he said. "The response to [Yves-Montgomorie's] statement was childish, stereotypical, and completely ineffective. "I am suspicious of whether this 'Jenny Mardouxe' is actually a real person at all, and not just a caricature created by Yves-Montgomorie, that he can use as a propaganda tool to discredit the trans movement and bolster his own claims to governing by 'common sense'." Arch-Regent Benjamin offered a brief statement on behalf of Her Graceful Highness, Juliana I, to clarify Carmini's official position on the matter shortly after the announcement was broadcast. "Carmini does not embroil itself in the internal affairs of other nations," the Arch-Regent said. "But it is [Queen Juliana's] strongest wish that we condemn the latest actions of the government of Huguenoxe. In an alarming misunderstanding of the issues faced by the global transgender community, they claim they wish to reduce the suicide rate in their country by banning the surgery that alleviates their terrible trauma faced by people with gender dysphoria - I think they will find that the opposite happens as a result. "Yves-Montgomorie must ask himself this; would his god rather that Huguenoxan citizens take their lives in anguish, or receive harmless treatment that can help them live a happier life? "Carmini will put an end to all trade conducted with Huguenoxan businesses while they consider this point," he said finally. Comments Sign up to post a comment Curmudgeon01 +15 Like | Dislike Another tinpot regime banning stuff that makes them feel a bit funny. Not surprised, just disappointed. The sooner we throw those story books out of the window and govern with 'common sense' (not the kind preached by this tinpot leader), the better. FlowerTot -24 Like | Dislike It is a bit wierd tho. Maybe it should be banned? Type your response...

[Carmini]

BRUTALITY IN THE PHILIPPINE STATE EARNS OUTCRY The Philippine government has publicly executed communist revolutionary Ricardo Roa today, ostensibly for a series of crimes that included homicide, murder, and "sedition", reports The Philippine Times. Born 28th March 1945, Roa founded the revolutionary communist group, National Progressive Army, in 2009, a group renowned for using terror and violence as a means to spread its policy of National Progressivism. The Philippine government authorised the execution after a trial found him guilty of several counts of murder, homicide, summary executions, rape, "sedition", and "rebellion against the Philippine-MPK government". As reported by the times, Roa was publicly "flogged heavily by masked men in black armored suits, then was being laid down to remove his nails and teeth one by one with pliers with no anaesthetics, flayed and skinned alive, was sat on the electric chair, and while being electrocuted with high voltage, was beheaded with an axe as the final blow". Advertisement Arch-Regent Benjamin, speaking for Her Graceful Highness, Juliana I, condemned both the nature of the trial and the brutal style of the execution. "The Philippine government has shown its true colours in spectacular form," he told press. "And those colours are blood red. We question the legality of the show trial under which [Roa] was found guilty, and we thoroughly condemn the style in which purported 'justice' was meted out. "We have no love for either Roa nor the revolutionary group he led on such a barbaric campaign, but in removing their political opponent in such a vile, despicable, and utterly barbaric fashion, the Philippine government has proven itself to be a rogue state to astounded onlookers, and no better than the man they have dispatched. "Her Graceful Highness' government will allow no Carminian business to take place with this rogue state, and we encourage all right-thinking nations to avoid dealings with them as well." The Royal State Department has issued a travel advisory warning to Carminian citizens, urging them to stay out of the Philippine State. International reactions are not yet known, but analysts are predicting a mixed reaction, even from those states traditionally aligned against communism. "Even member-states of SACTO [Santiago Anti-Communist Treaty Organisation], reviled as they are by the menace of socialism and communism, must surely condemn a state that pulls nails, teeth, and skin from a man for all to watch, before lopping off his head," said Harold Russell, Professor of Political Science at Amaranth Academy. "They seek economic freedom, not the freedom to act as a brute, after all." Comments Sign up to post a comment Curmudgeon01 +61 Like | Dislike The hell did I just read. Barbasaur +12 Like | Dislike I know where my next holiday is being booked for. Somewhere else. GratuitousCats +24 Like | Dislike I get that communism is a problem, but surely it's not a "let's rip bits off this chap" problem. Even if he was a murderer, sometimes you have to rise above your enemies lest you become one of them. BOB -56 Like | Dislike Is a video of this on MyTunnel?! Hilarious! Type your response...

[Carmini]

ROYAL BIRTHDAY BASH Citizens of Amaranth and the other regencies of Carmini are preparing themselves for the event of the year - the birthday of Her Graceful Highness, Queen of the Roses, Juliana I. The Rose Queen's birthday is an important milestone number this year, being as it is her 25th such occasion. Queen Juliana was born in the Palace of the Rose on 1st June 1991, to King James VI and the Queen Consort, Elizabeth Rose (neé Burgund), and immediately became a media darling. The Amaranth Announcer was just one of many newspapers to be invited to an enormous celebratory press event that evening, during which the King gave an emotional speech about his new daughter to the assembled journalists. As is tradition, the young princess was shown off to the world several days later from the Grand Balcony of the Palace, draped in velvet blankets, to a record-breaking crowd of thousands of adoring subjects on the parade street below. The sound of cameras clicking was said to be deafening, but the baby princess seemed unfettered by the commotion. This was her first, but far from her last, public appearance, and she handled it with aplomb. Advertisement The only child of the late King, Juliana was groomed to be the next ruler of Carmini from an early age than is usual after her father was diagnosed with cancer. She was thrust into her new role as head of state in 2012, at the tender age of 21, after the sad passing of King James. Since then she has become one of the most popular monarchs in Carminian history, consistently achieving more than 80% approval in public polls. Celebrations are planned for the 1st June event across the island, with Arch-Regent Benjamin heading up the newly-formed Rose Queen's Birthday Committee. "It is my honour to play a leading role in ushering-in Her Graceful Highness' 25th year on this Earth," Benjamin told the press. "I am working all evenings to ensure that the celebrations are of a quality befitting this nation's beloved Rose Queen. "All loyal subjects of Carmini are invited to participate in street parties across the country, which the Queen has graciously paid for with her own personal funds. "Feasting, dancing, fireworks and a general good-spirit are what we hope to provide." There is expected to be a banquet in the Palace of the Rose in the evening of 1st June, to which most Carminian nobility has been invited. And Queen Juliana herself will deliver a speech on television in the morning, where she is expected to give her thanks to the people of Carmini for their well wishes. The Arch-Regent also announced that foreign dignitaries will be invited to a celebratory event the following day, also to be held at the Palace. "Her Graceful Highness should like to celebrate her special day with the leaders of the world as well, that we might promote good will and positive relations with everybody," the Arch-Regent said. "You shall find invitations in your official correspondences over the coming days. Queen Juliana hopes that you shall be able to attend." In a separate announcement, the Council of Regents said that June 1st is to be a national holiday, enabling all Carminians to take part in the festivities. Comments Sign up to post a comment GrandSupreme69 +18 Like | Dislike Happy birthday Your Graceful Highness, and cheers for the day off! There is one of those parties near where I live here in Burgund, so I may join in! TinpotMicktaker +4 Like | Dislike Many happy returns Queeny! ZhouraneseWhispers +15 Like | Dislike Woo hoo, a day off! CauselessRebel -157 Like | Dislike Down with the monarchy! Long live democracy! Type your response...

[Carmini]

NUDE RELATIONS The government is hoping to send observers to an international 'nudist convention', a representative of the Rose Throne told press today. The Edenist Alliance, a gathering of clothing-optional states, aims to hold the convention to discuss the myriad issues facing those countries which permit public nudity. Although intended for members of the alliance, the Announcer understands that any nation classified as being 'rank C' or above in host nation New Edom's Edenist Travel Advisory Guide is permitted to send observers. Advertisement Carmini is believed to have been ranked 'B' in said guide, which affirms its friendly stance towards clothing - or the lack thereof. With tourism being such a major industry for Carmini, the Rose Throne is understood to be highly motivated to achieve good relations with the Edenist Alliance and its member-states, though it is not presently known whether there is an intent to petition for full membership. "We are sympathetic to the goals of the Edenist Alliance and our policies towards freedom of choice regarding clothing correlate well," said Arch-Regent, Sir Benjamin of Amaranth, in his statement to the press. "It would be most beneficial for [Carmini] to have a representative there." The Announcer has managed to obtain a copy of the Rose Throne's completed registration form, which was submitted to the convention organisers earlier today. It is duplicated below: Sign Up Thread Nation Full Name: The Royal City-State of Carmini Nation Head of State: Her Graceful Highness, Queen Juliana I Nation Head of Government: Arch-Regent Sir Benjamin of Amaranth Representative(s): Her Graceful Highness, Queen Juliana I; Arch-Regent Sir Benjamin of Amaranth Representative(s) Brief Description and bio: Juliana I is the incumbent sovereign of the Royal City-State of Carmini, and head of the House of Rose. She acceded the Rose Throne in April 2012, after the death of her father, King James VI, from cancer in January of that year. She was the second-youngest monarch, and the youngest Queen, to sit upon the Rose Throne in Carminian history (full article). Arch-Regent Sir Benjamin of Amaranth is the leader of the Council of Regents, a moderate centre-right politician who has maintained the historical policy of laissez-faire that all of his predecessors have tended to do. Together with his current and past sovereign, he has presided over a period of strong economic growth and development. In his personal life he is married and has two children, and identifies as an atheist. Representative(s) extent of support for a nude lifestyle: Both representatives are in favour of strong civil rights and minimal government interference, and are strongly supportive of citizen's right to choose what (if anything) citizens should wear. Delegation's preferred topics for the convention: Tourism, general questions about the nature of the Edenist Alliance. Preferred accommodations (rented home, hotel, resort bungalow): Rented home Any dietary or health concerns: Queen Juliana is a vegetarian. Any particular security needs beyond the usual: A complement of Rosethorn as the Queen's personal bodyguard - 10x armed soldiers. In a break from tradition, the Rose Queen herself is planning to personally attend the convention. The Announcer will therefore be covering this event closely over the coming days. "[Queen Juliana] is keen to represent Carmini personally at this event," Sir Benjamin commented. "Such is the importance of the convention to our policy." It is not presently known which other nations will be attending the convention. Comments Sign up to post a comment BeeBop +15 Like | Dislike Nice to see Her Graceful Highness get an all-expenses-paid holiday. Curmudgeon01 +11 Like | Dislike Carmini's tourism trade is essential to the economy, let's hope something positive comes out of this. Type your response...

[Carmini]

CARMINI WINS ACOLADES IN INTERNATIONAL LGBT SURVEY The Arthurian Rainbow Alliance, based in the Arthurian Federation, has awarded the Royal City-State a very high mark in its acclaimed international LGBT+ survey. The LGBT+ survey ranks nations around the world according to how open and inclusive they are towards the LGBT+ community. It gathers information around issues such as marriage equality and anti-discrimination laws, and awards each nation a score out of 100 based on how many rights and protections that nation provides. Carmini achieved a "very high" rating, earning 97.9 out of 100 points. Advertisement "Carmini boasts a deeply compassionate population that accepts its LGBT+ neighbours as fellow citizens without fuss," the survey's authorities said in their report. "It is a leading country in the field of LGBT+ rights and leads the world by its example." Gerard Hope, chair of the Royal Society for Carminian Equality, hailed the ranking as "a success for all Carminians." "We are deeply proud of Carmini's achievement in [the LGBT+ survey]," said Mr. Hope. "As a transgender man myself, I can attest to the fact that Carmini is one of the most open and inclusive societies I know of, with great opportunities for people no matter their faith, colour, sexuality, gender identity, or any other characteristics that might be open to abuse and discrimination elsewhere in the world. It is fantastic to have this officially recognised by a respected body. "All of my fellow countrypeople should be as proud of this achievement as I am - it is as much thanks to you all as it is the policies of our government." Lady Claire, Regent for Culture and the Arts, said: "I should like to thank the Arthurian Rainbow Alliance for recognising Carmini as the inclusive and safe country that we are. I hope everybody is proud for making our country the welcoming place that it is. "Our work is not yet done though - we shall be tirelessly working to further improve Carmini's ranking," she added. "No-one should suffer discrimination for their sexuality or gender identity, and we will liaise with the [Rainbow Alliance authorities] to determine how Carmini could further bolster its score as we move forward." While Carmini occupies an elite echelon of societies near the top of the scoreboard, the survey has highlighted that significant problems continue to face the LGBT+ community globally. Towards the bottom of the ranking table, nations such as Imperium Sidhicum, New Aeyariss, and The Peoples East Africa all scored under 10 points, highlighting that LGBT+ people face systemic discrimination and persecution at nearly all levels of society in those countries. "Globally, the task is far from finished," Mr. Hope said. "People around the world are at risk of death, torture, and social isolation as a result of extremely hostile governmental policies towards the LGBT+ people." Comments Sign up to post a comment xXRollyPollyXx +43 Like | Dislike Great news for a change! We should all be proud, but not complacent. There's plenty more work to do. DukeofNothing +21 Like | Dislike This is great news, well done everybody! Type your response...

[Carmini]

CARMINIAN COMPANIES FLOCK TO BID ON 'UPDATE NORTAIN' PROGRAMME UpdateNortain, an ambitious Devernian programme that aims to modernise the somewhat-backward society of Nortainland, was announced to the press yesterday. The plan, according to UpdateNortain's project managers, is to supply computers, televisions, and other modern electrical equipment to Norten, in an effort to bring the country up to modern standards. Reactions to the programme and its goals have been mixed, however. "Ambitious is one word for it," Harold Russell, Professor of Political Science at Amaranth Academy, said. "Foolhardy is another. For one, there are 55 million people in Nortainland - 55 million very religious, very traditional, very stuck-in-their-ways people. "Even if you could manage to supply enough equipment to 'modernise' the country, there's no guarantee that they'd even accept or want the help." "And then there's the infrastructure problems," he added. "Where are they going to get the electricity and data cabling for all these new gadgets? You can't just airlift an energy grid into a country, it takes years to install one." Advertisement "I have moral objections to this, as well as practical," added Professor Russell's colleague, Jennifer Moore, Professor of Anthropology. "Who are the Devernians to tell the Norten how they should live? They are meddling in somebody's culture - they have no right." Perhaps unsurprisingly, however, Carminian companies have flocked to support the initiative, with several seeking to sponsor UpdateNortain, and several others petitioning to supply the necessary products. One such company is Indicium, a prominent Carminian IT and smartphone manufacturer with global success. "We find the UpdateNortain programme to be an admirable one," Helen Veer, Chief Marketing Officer. "Such a noble and selfless goal, to provide opportunities for success and education to those less fortunate." Indicium has approached the UpdateNortain project leads, and proposed that they become the principle suppliers to the project, offering a 10% reduction of their usual wholesale price. "We would be honoured to become the project's official supplier," said Veer. "Obviously it is a fantastic business opportunity for us, but our competitive pricing offer will benefit [UpdateNortain] hugely. "No doubt their undertaking is an expensive one, and we would like to help. It is the moral thing to do." Comments Sign up to post a comment xXRollyPollyXx +163 Like | Dislike What a surprise The only people who think it's a good idea are Indicium - doubtlessly salivating at the prospect of flogging 50 million of their POS dumbphones. Given the extortionate pricing they charge they stand to make a killing, I'm sure. DukeofNothing +21 Like | Dislike I don't get it. Why do they care if the Nortains have TVs or not? What's the angle? I get Indicium flocking to sell them stuff, but why are these guys giving it away? What do they get out of it? GaggleBox -15 Like | Dislike Good luck watching TV in a country with no electricity. Type your response...

[Carmini]

'UPDATE NORTAIN' FLOUNDERING As reported over the weekend, 'UpdateNortain' was launched by Devernian officials, in an effort to modernise the conservative society of Nortainland. Since then, initial deliveries of laptops and equipment have been completed, and training offered - and the project, on first glance, appears to be on course to be a complete failure. Most Norten are simply anxious about the devices, according to the Regal Post, with "only eight people daring to turn on the laptops despite assurances". In another incident, a local vicar described the new technology as "a destroyer of civility and society", while urging his parishioners to extricate the devices from their homes immediately. And the Nortan government appears to be questioning the feasibility, desirability, and motivations behind the programme, with fierce debates taking place in their upper house. "[The new technology] would create irrevocable changes in the fabric of Nortan society," Lord Grover, the Earl of Siel, Nortainland, told Nortan press. Around the world, similar sentiments to those of Professor Moore, who told the Announcer on Saturday that she had "moral objections" to the programme, have been echoed. One Synkomese professor, Dr. Milan Praljak, stated: "Of course, you can't just force your own lifestyle on someone else", and went on to question how effective the programme could be in its present form. Advertisement Even Her Graceful Highness, Queen of the Roses, Juliana I of Carmini has voiced her opinions on the surprisingly divisive programme. "One cannot fathom why the Devernians felt it wise to impose their technology upon a society that is neither prepared for nor in need of it," she told our reporters. "Surely they must have history text books in their country, and upon reading those books they would see that such a 'civilising', for lack of a better word, effort is doomed to failure and hardship. "I will not attempt to comment on their motivations," she continued. "Whether they are benign, benevolent, or manipulative is for the Nortans to decide. In either case, the method they propose to use is deeply flawed. We are seeing as much already, and it has yet to get off the ground!" Meanwhile, Carminian companies, who initially attempted to cash in on the programme, are distancing themselves from UpdateNortain. One anonymous member of staff at CarmiComm, the largest telecommunications provider in the country, said that "the upper management guys are scrambling to do damage control, after they publicly supported - and tried to sponsor - [UpdateNortain]. Now that it looks to be a lame duck, they're trying to back out, and we're not even allowed to talk about it outside of work." Indicium, which had previously attempted to become a principle supplier of products to the programme, has also dulled its expectations. "We may have jumped the gun a little," said Helen Veer, Chief Marketing Officer. "We were of course very excited to lend our expertise and support to a programme that promised to boost quality of life for so many people. But perhaps [the programme] did not synergise with Indicium's strategic priorities as well as we first thought." Despite this retraction, Indicium is reportedly still petitioning for a contract with UpdateNortain's project leaders. The Announcer has reached out to the leaders of UpdateNortain for comment on how they feel about the reaction to their programme, and their answer to accusations of ulterior motives. In the meantime, however, it seems increasingly unlikely that UpdateNortain will have the dramatic impact on Nortan society that was first hoped for. Comments Sign up to post a comment Curmudgeon01 +76 Like | Dislike Reminds me of a country I read about not long ago that deliberately avoids technology. Brellach I think it was called. This programme is as likely to be successful there as it was here. Hopefully they cut their losses sooner rather than later. Think of the environmental impact of all those wasted phones and computers... DukeofNothing +149 Like | Dislike Good job sticking to your guns and not looking like hypocrits there, Indicium. Even when it's clearly not wanted, they still try and pawn their wares to unsuspecting victims. Way to represent the country. Her Graceful Highness at least is showing us in a better light, long may she reign. FlowerTot -41 Like | Dislike Sounds like a horrible country. Type your response...

[Carmini]

Advertisement PARTY ATMOSPHERE UNDERMINED BY CONTROVERSY Allanea's LGBT+ community is in full party mode at the moment, as the country has lavished tens of billions of dollars on a shindig of epic proportions. Purportedly this is a celebration of the LGBT+ community, and a stand for their rights across the world. But an undercurrent of controversy is spoiling the occasion in the minds of some. While not all of the money is strictly going on a party - much is earmarked for various charities focussed on LGBT+ rights and healthcare - a large amount of it is, and to some observers this had less to do with a celebration of diversity, and more to do with irritating the newest member of the Capitalist International (CAPINTERN) treaty. The Kingdom of the United Turtles, Mushrooms, and Men of Turtleshroom, as officially titled, was accepted into the ranks of CAPINTERN much to the surprise of onlookers. Turtleshroom's opinions of LGBT+ issues are known to be less than flattering generally - "abominations" being one word they have used in the past to describe members of the community - and yet they have joined CAPINTERN, an organisation which professes the protection and promotion of the rights of such groups to be foremost among its goals. Additionally, and perhaps relevantly, given recent events, they are not on particularly cordial terms with Allanea either. "This seems to be a direct effort to antagonise Turtleshroom," Harold Russell, Professor of Political Science at Amaranth Academy, said. "Were this a mere coincidence, we could be able to overlook it. But that they have deliberately used, and told everybody that they are using, Turtleshroom's entire admittance fee to fund this otherwise-innocuous, if ostentatious, event, strikes me as provocative. Advertisement "Not that the Allaneans have ever been particularly known for their subtlety, of course." There is no evidence of brewing tensions between Allanea and Turtleshroom over the event, though, and there are in fact rumours that the two nations have somewhat reconciled after an initial bout of hostility. And Lady Claire, Regent for Culture and the Arts, has been more supportive of the initiative. "Carmini has a proud tradition of being inclusive, affording her citizens with equal opportunities no matter their faith, ethnicity, gender, sexuality, disability, or any other such categorisation that others may choose to oppress," she said, and went on to highlight Carmini's recent high performance in the Arthurian Rainbow Alliance's International LGBT+ Survey. "Whatever Greater Prussia's motives are, it is the position of Her Graceful Highness' government that we must applaud any act that raises awareness of the issues facing the LGBT+ community globally." Internationally, some focus has been placed on CAPINTERN's avowed support - both morally and materially - for militant LGBT groups around the world. Specifically, they host training camps for such groups, and are believed to provide material support to them as well. Adiran press has focussed on one infamous such group, Homofront, and has reported that families of the victims of the recent attack on the Cora Nevis are demanding punitive measures be taken against Allanea. "The terrorists on the Cora Nevis learned how to kill, how to build bombs, how to contact pirates and other criminal groups, in Allanea," accused the widow of one victim of the attack. CAPINTERN, however, has denied training operatives from Homofront. "We had offered assistance to Homofront conditional on them altering their tactics and stopping their acts of atrocities against civilian populations and their various acts of torture of innocents, but so far received no response," said a spokesperson from the group. Despite the controversy in the press, several hundred Carminians have travelled to the event, including prominent LGBT+ activist, Gerard Hope, chair of the Royal Society for Carminian Equality. "I don't care much about the reasons or what people think of it," Mr. Hope said, in a badly garbled video conference. "Have you seen how much booze they have here? How often do people throw a party like this, just for the LGBT community? "The atmosphere is great here and I say, make it annual!" he added. Comments Sign up to post a comment xXRolly-PollyXx +76 Like | Dislike Damn, I don't get paid until the end of the month, else I'd have been on a flight over there myself! Curmudgeon01 +15 Like | Dislike Don't you just hate it when you throw a party and it becomes an international incident? Happens to me all the time. Maybe I should stop using nukes to light the barbeque, though. FlowerTot -41 Like | Dislike Wooo party! Type your response...

[Carmini]

Advertisement SMALL EMPIRE AT WAR WITH EVERYONE The world was perplexed this week after a small territory styling itself as the 'Soviet French Empire' declared war on almost every state on the planet simultaneously. Overlord Renard's peace conditions: Ban unclean energies. Ban the use of Coal, Oil, Gasoline. Ban Overhunting. Mandatory gun ownership. Condemnation of anti-enviromental buildings, and corporations. Specifically, the so-called Soviet French Empire has "declared war upon all countries that resist the Enviromental [sic] conformity that the empire is spreading", according to the state's so-called Glorious Overlord, Venezia Senka Renard. Renard cited a series of conditions that must be met by countries to avoid being issued with a declaration of war from the small island state, which includes such requirements as mandatory gun ownership, and a complete ban on all polluting fuels. Few countries appear to be taking the threats of the so-called Soviet French Empire seriously, however. Minister Nacht from the Foreign Ministry of The Empire of Common Territories, suggested that their government would be displaying the declaration of war on a refrigerator, "using a cute magnet". Shortly afterwards, a representative of Skyhooked promised "dire consequences" on the so-called Soviet French Empire should they attempt to act on their threats. Meanwhile, the Greatest Leader of Fergi America is believed to have offered the so-called Soviet French Empire a photograph of a pick-up truck emitting black smoke, in a move believed to be intended to antagonise Renard. Advertisement There are also unsubstantiated rumours that a group of extra-terrestrial, internal combustion-powered sentient robots has weighed in on the debate, however this is largely believed to be an Internet hoax. Arch-Regent, Sir Benjamin of Amaranth, has taken a more serious tone in dealing with the threats made by the so-called Soviet French Empire, however it is clear that Her Graceful Highness' Government does not consider them to be credible. "A declaration of war is a very serious matter to level against anybody, much less to level against nigh-on everybody," the Arch-Regent said at a press conference this morning. "Carmini takes such threats seriously, no matter how credible they may be, and the Rosethorn have been placed on alert. "However, we are talking about a tiny island state," he added. "A large nation with an advanced economy would struggle to carry out the threats made by [Overlord Renard], while this Soviet French Empire - which I am loathe to refer to as an 'empire' at all' - exists on an island that is even smaller than Carmini. "Her Graceful Highness would beg [Renard] to reconsider his hostile stance to the world, if only for the sake of his citizens." The Announcer approached Lady Samantha, Executor of the Royal State Department, to ask if HGH Government had any intention of complying with the demands made by the so-called Soviet French Empire. "Carmini is a beautiful island with minimal personal vehicle ownership and extensive renewable energy usage," she told us. "However, the demands being made by the Soviet French are, simply put, unreasonable, infeasible, and contrary to the ideals and way of life of Carmini. "As such, we have no intention of acquiescing to them, nor do we consider [the Soviet French] to be worthy of our attention, beyond that which my esteemed colleague has given them during his press conference." Comments Sign up to post a comment xXRolly-PollyXx +546 Like | Dislike I can imagine that these soviet French people have their hearts in the right place (although why an environmental nutjob would either care about mandatory gun ownership, or think it a good idea to enforce it on people they're being hostile to, is beyond me) but I don't think they really thought their approach through. For one thing, isn't war one of the most polluting activities in human history? And if history has taught us anything, it's that countries like this usually get dogpiled into non-existence in short order. Curmudgeon01 +15 Like | Dislike Good work, Soviet France. You've singlehandedly damaged the environmentalist movement for everybody in the world by tainting it with your total insanity. No-one's going to take it seriously for years if you actually go through with this madness. FlowerTot -41 Like | Dislike bye soviet france lol Type your response...

[Carmini]

Advertisement REPORTER HELD FOR RANSOM A Moo-Mooan reporter has been "detained" by authorities in the United Socialist States of Sweeps this week, said Journalists Without Territories (JWT). The Carminian-based, non-profit, non-governmental organisation dedicated to promoting freedom of information and freedom of the press, told the Announcer that no charges are believed to have been brought against the reporter, and that his detainment is unlawful. "The totalitarian state of Sweeps is holding the journalist for ransom," said Michelle Eddington, Chief Officer of JWT. "It is our understanding that they are attempting to extort territories from the authorities in Moo-Moo," she added. Sweeps has been at war with Moo-Moo for an indeterminate period of time, and the reporter had been sent there to cover a "Sweepsian withdrawal from the conflict, when this happened." The United Socialist States of Sweeps is a "black hole" according to JWT's grading system, Eddington explained. "Information and the press is strictly controlled by the totaliarian government, and civil rights violations abound. Advertisement "This is only the latest in a long tradition of extreme actions by the SSSS authorities." The conflict that sparked all this was expected to be winding down, however this latest affront is seen as being a likely catalyst for its continuation. Particularly troubling to analysts is the involvement of several new states in the conflict, who are offering to lend martial aid to the Moo-Mooans. "What started as a provincial conflict between two strangely-named, but otherwise insignificant powers now has the potential to spiral out of control," General Grace Wilson, a three-star General of the Rosethorn, said. "While the illegal detainment of a reporter to extort another state is both tragic and concerning, other states weighing in with their armed forces is unlikely to help matters." The General likely referred to the Gig em Aggies authorities, who have made overtures of martial support to the Moo-Mooans. At first promising to send in "45,000 battle hardened Aggie troops backed up by artillery, tanks, ships, and planes", they have since reduced their offer to special operatives. Nevertheless, the Carminian government believes even that to be an overreaction. "We would urge all non-involved parties to remain as such," Arch-Regent, Sir Benjamin of Amaranth, said in an open letter. "There is no sense in escalating an otherwise minor conflict into open war, when diplomacy and sanctions would seem to be the way forward in this instance." Carminian involvement was similarly ruled out. "Should our services as diplomats, or as a host for neutral talks, be sought by either party we would of course offer them," the Arch-Regent said. "But this is not a Carminian affair. Her Graceful Highness' government has no intentions of making it one." Comments Sign up to post a comment NecroPoster +12 Like | Dislike You can always rely on the Aggies to bring a tank to a fist-fight. xXRolyPolyXx +16 Like | Dislike Am I the only person wondering about who would name a country 'Moo-Moo'? Curmudgeon01 -51 Like | Dislike Here's hoping they all wipe each other out, it'd make the world a much quieter place. Type your response...