Character Creation 101: Better Characters are a Click Away!

[Rhodevus]

This is a character I created

His name is Harold spritzer

He fought with the Americans in World War II and is president of the Philippines

Any criticism you guys have?

It is a fine start, but is there any more to him? Where is he from? When was he born? Does he have siblings? What's his personality like? There are so many unanswered question that could help flesh out Harold Spritzer an turn him from a character into a person.

[Jersey Republic]

This is a character I created

His name is Harold spritzer

He fought with the Americans in World War II and is president of the Philippines

Any criticism you guys have?

It is a fine start, but is there any more to him? Where is he from? When was he born? Does he have siblings? What's his personality like? There are so many unanswered question that could help flesh out Harold Spritzer an turn him from a character into a person.

He was born in New Jersey and has no relatives, in 1920. He's nice and a leader

[Rhodevus]

It is a fine start, but is there any more to him? Where is he from? When was he born? Does he have siblings? What's his personality like? There are so many unanswered question that could help flesh out Harold Spritzer an turn him from a character into a person.

He was born in New Jersey and has no relatives, in 1920. He's nice and a leader

yes, but this character still feels like a stick figure. There is not personality yet in this character. How about we try and writing exercise with him. Try writing a paragraph about him ordering a cup of coffee in a coffee-shop somewhere in your nation.

edit: Or wherever he is from

[Common Territories]

This is a character I created

His name is Harold spritzer

He fought with the Americans in World War II and is president of the Philippines

Any criticism you guys have?

Not enough info, not enough work, not a serious attempt. Time for a start over

[Jersey Republic]

This is a character I created

His name is Harold spritzer

He fought with the Americans in World War II and is president of the Philippines

Any criticism you guys have?

Not enough info, not enough work, not a serious attempt. Time for a start over

Hmmmm

His name is Harold spritzer, he was born in New York in 1920, he lived an average life, and when World War II ws brought to the United States. He was sent to the pacific front and helped during the liberation of the Philippines. (In the alternate world, the United States troops helped rebuild a new Philippines government. After 30 years, he was elected as president of the Philippines.

He is a man who looks at both sides of the story and is quite hesitant before deciding anything. He also isn't cutthroat, he cares for others. A rare occurrence on the political field

[Hydraic Empire]

Name: Allycia Theokleia Gwendolyn Jekyll
Gender: Female
Backstory: (pending, this is where i could use some help).

Any tips/suggestions? I plan for her to be the next daughter of the Dark Lord Of Khaos.

[Rhodevus]

Name: Allycia Theokleia Gwendolyn Jekyll
Gender: Female
Backstory: (pending, this is where i could use some help).

Any tips/suggestions? I plan for her to be the next daughter of the Dark Lord Of Khaos.

well, for this character, all we have been given is a name and a gender to work with. There is no real tips or suggestions to give, since we have no information about said character. What type of story are you planning for her? Is she going to be evil? good? cruel? kind? have a tragic backstory? there are still tons of questions that can be asked about this person, since at the moment, she is not a person, but a blank slate. Before any actual suggestions can be made, we need to start painting on this canvas called Allycia.

[Hydraic Empire]

Name: Allycia Theokleia Gwendolyn Jekyll
Gender: Female
Backstory: (pending, this is where i could use some help).

Any tips/suggestions? I plan for her to be the next daughter of the Dark Lord Of Khaos.

well, for this character, all we have been given is a name and a gender to work with. There is no real tips or suggestions to give, since we have no information about said character. What type of story are you planning for her? Is she going to be evil? good? cruel? kind? have a tragic backstory? there are still tons of questions that can be asked about this person, since at the moment, she is not a person, but a blank slate. Before any actual suggestions can be made, we need to start painting on this canvas called Allycia.

Hmmm. How about she is a kind soul but gets extremely violent when needed. Perhaps a tragic backstory will fit.

[New Axiom]

well, for this character, all we have been given is a name and a gender to work with. There is no real tips or suggestions to give, since we have no information about said character. What type of story are you planning for her? Is she going to be evil? good? cruel? kind? have a tragic backstory? there are still tons of questions that can be asked about this person, since at the moment, she is not a person, but a blank slate. Before any actual suggestions can be made, we need to start painting on this canvas called Allycia.

Hmmm. How about she is a kind soul but gets extremely violent when needed. Perhaps a tragic backstory will fit.

Hmm. What about tragic and traumatizing with some plot twists? Maybe she killed a husband after he slept with her sibling, maybe she went psycho on her beloved cat, which scared her even more. Maybe she's super nice normally, becuase she feels like she is crazy and tries way to hard to be normal.

You don't need to take my advice, obviously, just trying to give suggestions.

[New Axiom]

Hey guys, I got another character for ya, let me know what you think. He was the national leader of an alt nation of mine, but that nation ceased to exist, but why should the character?

Commander Alexi Ivanov. Ivanov was born in Arcadia, in June 1978. He joined the Arcadian Army and was one of the soldiers that defected after the nation was taken over in a coup. He started a resistance movement, working alongside freindly New Axomite forces in the area, who were also fighting the illegitimate government. In 2003 he became freelance, as did the rest of his resistance group. He and his crew took on any job they could get; dirty jobs from world powers, jobs for terrorists, jobs for locals, jobs for corporations. In 2009 he started his own buisness, officially a private security company based on the Indonesian islands. This security company named the Serenity Military Corporation, with expanded manpower, continued to take in any jobs and baca,e very rich. Ivanov himself would often lead the jobs from the field, sometimes on the ground or flying the fire support helicopter. His corporation was commonly tasked with guarding ships from pirates, oil rigs from terrorists, government officials from assassin and the like. In 2014 onwards they became heavily involved in active conflict and Ivanov spent the next year fighting the Promethians. In late early 2016, the region was hit hard by economic troubles and Uvanovs Corperation, who at this time employed millions, went bankrupt. It's men defected, and Ivanov lived in New Axiom for a couple months before going freelance once more. He now does single man operations for the highest bidder and is currently under New Axioms payroll in the current conflict in Promethia.

Ivanov is known for his willingness to do anything if the price is right,minclusing what could be seen as war crimes. This makes him a very convenient asset for countries who need to get certain things done, but can't be caught. Back when his corporation was still in buisness, their signature tactic was massive helicopter assaults, with the helicopters blasting classic rock music from their PA loudspeakers.

Ivanov's physical appearance is that of a tall, muscular man with a slight Russian accent. He typically wears digital camoflauge pants, steel toed combat boots, a black leather M-65 field coat and either a tan or olive combat harness. He has slicked back black hair and a mustache goatee.

[Molotov Cluster]

It is a fine start, but is there any more to him? Where is he from? When was he born? Does he have siblings? What's his personality like? There are so many unanswered question that could help flesh out Harold Spritzer an turn him from a character into a person.

He was born in New Jersey and has no relatives, in 1920. He's nice and a leader

He was born American and yet is president of the Philippines.
Don't most nations around the world have that whole "you have to be born there to be the leader of it" clause in their laws of who can do what?
Cause I think they do.

Plus you don't say how he became president. was it legally, was it some ballot stuffed corrupted election? did all of the people running against him mysteriously vanish?

Did he get picked for his morals and bragging about all the good he was going to do for the Phillippines? Or was he picked by all the rich guys cause he was some evil greedy rich guy that was going to give all the fatcats tax breaks?

A lot of empty what-ifs there that I can see.

[Molotov Cluster]

well, for this character, all we have been given is a name and a gender to work with. There is no real tips or suggestions to give, since we have no information about said character. What type of story are you planning for her? Is she going to be evil? good? cruel? kind? have a tragic backstory? there are still tons of questions that can be asked about this person, since at the moment, she is not a person, but a blank slate. Before any actual suggestions can be made, we need to start painting on this canvas called Allycia.

Hmmm. How about she is a kind soul but gets extremely violent when needed. Perhaps a tragic backstory will fit.

Romeo and Juliet meets mcbeth. Parents don't like her boyfriend and refuses to let her marry him so she gets all uppity in a fit of rage and kills them but then feels sorry about it afterwords.

[Treneria]

What are some things I can add to my Special Forces characters to make them more characterized, more "real" in a sense? I'm looking for traits (and how to express them), as well as some quirks to their backgrounds that would be interesting.

[The Alexanderians]

What are some things I can add to my Special Forces characters to make them more characterized, more "real" in a sense? I'm looking for traits (and how to express them), as well as some quirks to their backgrounds that would be interesting.

http://forum.nationstates.net/viewtopic.php?f=23&t=385750
Ask here, they'll help.

[Treneria]

What are some things I can add to my Special Forces characters to make them more characterized, more "real" in a sense? I'm looking for traits (and how to express them), as well as some quirks to their backgrounds that would be interesting.

http://forum.nationstates.net/viewtopic.php?f=23&t=385750
Ask here, they'll help.

Thank you very much, comrade.

[The Damo-Russian Empire]

Not sure if this is the place to ask, but where to most people get/make pictures for their leader?

[Rhodevus]

Not sure if this is the place to ask, but where to most people get/make pictures for their leader?

usually people look up pictures online.

[Aquitayne]

Not sure if this is the place to ask, but where to most people get/make pictures for their leader?

Google is your best friend.

Alternatively, a lot of people use celebrities they're fond of as well.

[Taigawa]

I have created a factbook on Neyla.

She is my leader, and while I feel the information as is may be good enough, I still want some feedback.

[High Alyria]

I have created a factbook on Neyla.

She is my leader, and while I feel the information as is may be good enough, I still want some feedback.

Perhaps fix that URL, on the other hand I would probably dwell more into personality, explaining how she solves problems or her relationships with other people. Everything else seems fine.

[Navaronia]

Thank you my dute! Great help for me, thanks.

[Vyrtus]

Critique?

PRIME MINISTER ETHERS

Prime Minister Ethers was not a friendly man. In fact, he was the very opposite of that. His politeness and manners did not show warmth or kindness, but coldness and disdain. He had a long, thin face, and short black hair. His eyes were a piercing gunmetal grey. His rugged face showed experience and strength of character, yet perhaps a hint of trauma and pain. He had a sinister aura about him with his strict demeanor.
However, he knew how to do his job properly. Ethers was a man of the law, as well as innovative and intelligent. He knew how the Scarlet Cross Assembly would react to most things and acted accordingly, making things easier for them. In diplomatic meetings, the Prime Minister was just as compelling and firm as Wulfstan, though he was more traditional.
He showed more respect to state leaders and people in general, but some swear they can feel a hint of sarcasm or even sassiness in his replies.
Before becoming Prime Minister, Ethers worked primarily with the Intelligence sector of the Vyrtussian Army. He worked as operations officer, analyst, and counterintelligence officer. While he has done field work in the past, much of his achievements and work happened in the office. Escalus is skilled in interrogation and trickery, having disrupted several hostile entities' plans in the past.
Militarily speaking, Ethers was a Propaganda Officer as well as an Officer of the Company.

[Rhodevus]

Hello students of Character Creation 101. I think it is high time I wrote another lesson which I believe is very important in the creation of characters; whether they be vital to your roleplay’s/story’s plot, or just a side character meant to add some more people to your world.

This is something that I, myself have just recently learned to do in my writings, even though it is one of the most cliché story tropes out there. My lesson is both simple and complex, and can be completed in just three simple words: “Show, Don’t Tell.”

Of course, this rule can go hand in hand with the “Show and Tell” rule, and both are ways to counter the massive writing trend of “Tell Without Showing”. Okay, so now for the basics.

This important rule first began when writers realized that nobody wants to read how great a character is. Or how terrible or angry or kind or whatever. It is quite boring to be constantly told in writing: “James was happy.” Or “Bobby was a kind and humble person.” Or even, “Diana was the fairest maiden in all the land.” There are hundreds of thousands, if not millions of examples of this in every form of writing. In some instances, it is important to add one sentence or two of explanation. But, for every sentence of explanation, there should be some form of action with it. Whether that be through the character or through those s/he interacts with. For example:

“Richard panted heavily, as he held his dented blade, mired in blood and sweat. His intense gaze met each and every man in front of him. None could look away.” When you read this, it is quite easy to know Richard is feeling. You can tell there was some form of battle and that it took a lot out of the character. You can also tell that he is serious for some reason; whether that be with anger, caution or control, that is up to the rest of the story, what happens before and after this short scene. But, it tells you exactly what is going on.

This can also be written simply as: “Richard was tired from the long and gruesome battle, as were all his men.” It still works and can sound good, but it does not have the same impact. And in writing, everything is about that initial impact the reader feels.

Now, the “Show, Don’t Tell” story trope has been around for a very long time and for good reason. In roleplay, as well as stories, what others feel about your characters during both important and seemingly unimportant scenes helps to shape whether the character will be well loved or forgotten amongst the other dozens+ characters they will read. Action can be much more personal than explanation, and with good reason. When you are explained something, it feels very detached and you and the reader are removed from what is happening. When you describe action, it can feel as though you are the character, which is exactly what is needed to create a bond between the reader and the character. Once that bond forms, you hold the reader’s attention and are able to shape their emotions of your story at will. This is another powerful concept which I will get into another time.

For now, if you have any questions on this rule, or have any ideas for lessons of your own, please telegram me and share your ideas, or post them in this thread. Thank you for your time, class is dismissed for the day.

[Rhodevus]

Critique?

PRIME MINISTER ETHERS

Prime Minister Ethers was not a friendly man. In fact, he was the very opposite of that. His politeness and manners did not show warmth or kindness, but coldness and disdain. He had a long, thin face, and short black hair. His eyes were a piercing gunmetal grey. His rugged face showed experience and strength of character, yet perhaps a hint of trauma and pain. He had a sinister aura about him with his strict demeanor.
However, he knew how to do his job properly. Ethers was a man of the law, as well as innovative and intelligent. He knew how the Scarlet Cross Assembly would react to most things and acted accordingly, making things easier for them. In diplomatic meetings, the Prime Minister was just as compelling and firm as Wulfstan, though he was more traditional.
He showed more respect to state leaders and people in general, but some swear they can feel a hint of sarcasm or even sassiness in his replies.
Before becoming Prime Minister, Ethers worked primarily with the Intelligence sector of the Vyrtussian Army. He worked as operations officer, analyst, and counterintelligence officer. While he has done field work in the past, much of his achievements and work happened in the office. Escalus is skilled in interrogation and trickery, having disrupted several hostile entities' plans in the past.
Militarily speaking, Ethers was a Propaganda Officer as well as an Officer of the Company.

It is a great start and a nice introduction to the character. Why is Escers cold and distant? How did he become like that? Why is he so talented in his job as PM? What part is he with (if you have political parties in your nation)? How did he gain the beliefs he has? How did he gain his skills in interrogation and trickery?

Does he have family? What important events happened during his rule? What does he like/dislike?

There is always plenty to add to flesh out characters, and most of these questions will be answered in the roleplays you participate in/the stories you write with him. Nice job!

[Rezua]

Anyone who has more questions on "Show, don't tell" may telegram me or ask a question here for more information/ examples.