THE PICKLE - Почаи Симмун
INCLUSIVE INTERVIEW Li Jian-Zheng amazed he played a crucial role in Qianrong's transition to democracy
Li Jian-Zheng posing for a photo in his villa. His car stands next to him
HUATOU PROVINCE, QIANRONG - It was mildly warm, and the sun was very bright. Spring is coming to Qianrong, and looking at the weather, one finds it hard to imagine that there was a winter, and over the winter a lot of stuff happened.
But everything's cool with Qianrongese politician Li Jian-Zheng, who greeted us outside his new villa in Huatou Province, which he easily bought after stepping down from leadership and letting others lead the Second Independent State of Qianrong, which was just formed following successful local and national elections. "Hey, what's up?" Li told me as he shook my hand, then led me in. "Come in, you don't see a villa like this anywhere in Qianrong."
Li and I sat down together, drank several cups of tea and watched television. But I realized that I was here for a reason, so I asked Li if he could settle down and answer some questions on behalf of
The Pickle.
His reply: "Ah...an interview, yes? That's fine, that's fine. Ask me anything, I swear there's no secret police hovering around anymore. Most of them were fired and have been employed by the ASQ."
I laughed, and proceeded to my first question. "Mr. Li, former Chancellor Li...however I want to address you..."
"Just call me Li," said Li. "Even if there's a million of them in this country."
"Heavens, you're funny, Li," I remarked, chuckling. "But let me move on...you're no longer a powerful person. How does it feel to realize that just a few days ago, you were the center of attention, the quarterback of the team? How does it feel to realize that
you, Li, led a revolution, led a
transitional government, and suddenly left it?"
"Ooooh, it feels
awesome, I still can't believe it," said Li. "I mean, I still find it hard to imagine that I declared myself Acting Chancellor of Qianrong, in spite of Guo Tse-Zu doing the same and willing to use military force to destroy me. Then there were the protests, the clashes with police, and then the besieging of government buildings which eventually led to Guo's downfall. And guess who did all that?" He pointed at himself enthusiastically. "
Me! And here I am, beginning a new life. I must say, I'm astonished."
"If you could describe your brief time as the architect of Qianrong's transition from autocracy to democracy with one analogous activity, what would it be?" I asked.
Li thought about that for a moment. "Er...it's like...having a dream about dating the hottest girl of your knowledge, with that relationship lasting for a few minutes before she slaps you and you're awake." He snapped. "Just like that. And you couldn't believe what you experienced. And I'm like,
'Shit, Li, you led your own country!' I must say, I'm astonished. I'll never forget it."
"So you're amazed?" I asked.
"Hell yeah I'm amazed," Li said. "I changed the politics of a
country. Qianrong, an autocracy, transformed into a democracy.
And I did it. And now I'm here. I'm amazed. Wow."
I frowned a bit. "You're not going to give credit to anyone else for making the rebellion successful? How about those who are leading the SISQ now?"
"Well, look," Li said, who tried to withdraw his wide smile by keeping a straight face. "I'm not saying I was the only person who made Qianrong free. Surely others did their part and they deserve everyone's gratitude. But
what about me! For
three months or so, I was leading the Qianrongese people. Never before in my life did I think I would have this opportunity. And every day I sit in my couch in my villa, the Winter Rebellion, Guo's capture and voting in Qianrong's first democratic elections keep playing through my mind like a movie. And I go 'Whoa! I
did all that?'"
"Do you have confidence in the SISQ? Do you think they'll do a great job in keeping the country free and democratic?" I asked.
"That's their job, but I'm more concerned about how I was leader of Qianrong for such a short amount of time and led the people to
democracy! Like, can you believe that?
I'm the father of Qianrongese democracy!"
"Then there's the ASQ. They're really brutal, I heard. Are you worried that if anyone is going to ruin what you created, it's them?" I continued asking.
Then, Li's face a bit repulsive. "These dogs, if they dare destroy the democracy I led the country for three months to create, I will advise the government to use our nuclear arsenal to wipe these pigs off the face of the universe, as well as those who support them - the Namorese and Aininians especially."
"Speaking about Namor, do you think Qianrong's relations with Namor will change now that the former is democratic like the latter?" I asked my last question.
"I don't think Qianrong's relations with Namor will improve until such time that people stop moving into houses. That's ethnic cleansing," he said. "But that's something else. Talk about me a bit.
I brought democracy into Qianrong. The Qianrongese people have power in their hands, all because of yours truly."
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