The government of Mexico has surrendered and ceded authority of the northwestern part of its country to a drug cartel. That is how el Nación Libre y Soberano de Triángulo de Oro came into existence.
Being a parasitic criminal organization was easy, but actually governing the country is harder than any of us thought it would be...
FACTS
Full Name:
La Nación Libre y Soberano del Triángulo de Oro
(The Free and Sovereign Nation of the Golden Triangle)
Internal Divisions: Three states - Sinaloa, Durango and Chihuahua
Capital: Badiraguato
Population: 7.8 million
Land area: 428,283 sq km
Density: 18.23/1 sq km
Total Military: 18,720
Head of State: President Joaquín "el Chapo" Guzmán
¡Viva el Jefe!
More: http://tracker.conquestofabsolution.com/triangulo_de_oro
The National Personification of el Triángulo de Oro:
HISTORY
(OOC: Up until the day of Triángulo de Oro's founding here on NationStates, "history" is the same as it is in the real world.
As anybody who lives in a border state on either side of the Rio Grande knows, this is a real problem. So consider Triángulo de Oro to be a warning: a country like this emerging in Mexico tomorrow is a real concern.)
INTERNATIONAL RECOGNITION
Most Avoided – First in Mexico Region
Yeah, if you ain't from el Triángulo de Oro, you don't come to Triángulo de Oro, ¡pinche cabron!
Shortest Life Span – First in Mexico Region, top 10 percent in the world
Hey, anyone who works hard and minds their own business will live a long time here. Only those who have stolen from the cartel by commission or ommission have to worry.
Largest “Gambling” Industry – First in Mexico Region, top 10 percent in the world
("Gambling" is how we launder the drug profits, so... yeah.)
Lowest Overall Tax Burden – First in Mexico Region, top 10 percent in the world
I really don't care what our taxes are. I'm really surprised that they are so low.
LEGISLATIVE COMMENTARY
According to the WA:
The Triangulo de Oro is a "Compulsory Consumerist State"
It says our civil rights are 40 and "Some."
It says our economy is 95 and "Powerhouse."
It says our political freedoms are 0 and "Outlawed."
Taxes are a 3 percent flat rate.
Crime is "moderate."
Elections are outlawed.
Of course, there are no elections in Triángulo de Oro. This is not a democracy, this is a narcocracy. The leader of the cartel is the undisputed boss of the nation.
Thieves are flogged in public for their crimes.
For stealing from the cartel, a simple flogging is a merciful punishment.
This caused civil rights to drop from 55 and "Average" to 44 and "Below Average" and political freedoms to drop from 8 to 6, but that's a small price to pay for putting an end to thievery.
A dictator has seized power and outlawed elections.
I wouldn't quite phrase it that way. I didn't "seize power and outlaw elections." I was already in power and elections were already outlawed. What I did was just carry on the status quo.
Regardless, this caused political freedoms to drop from 6 to 0. Eh, that's where they should have been to begin with anyway.
Jackals are considered a delicacy
A delicacy? Maybe. I certainly wouldn't eat them, but if los pobres want to, let them, if it keeps them from demanding the fine cuisine I keep on my opulent table.
College students make ends meet by selling their kidneys.
Really? I didn't even know we had colleges in this country! Well, that's fine. Keep one with my blood type on retainer, just in case.
This caused civil rights to soar from 44 and "Below Average" to 62 and "Good." Well... Good.
Organ donation is compulsory.
Of course it is. Your body, like everything else, is a commodity. It belongs to the cartel, and it’s worth however much money we can get for it. ¡Verdad!
This caused civil rights to drop from 62 and "Good" to 56 and "Average." Ho-hum.
Young children are regularly seen wagering pocket money at blackjack tables.
Of course, gambling is a proud industry here in..
¿Qué? ¿Qué era eso?
This caused our economy to drop from 90 and "Powerhouse" to 86 and "Thriving."
How can legalized gambling hurt the economy!
Heads will roll! ¡Matar los tracionados! ¡Matar los tracionados!
Animal Liberationists are regularly jailed.
Of course. Anybody who causes a disturbance that hurts the cartel's business is immediately jailed... or tortured... or executed... or all of the above.
This caused civil rights to drop from 56 to 54.
Marijuana is legal in the privacy of your own home.
I dispute that interpretation. I didn't rule to make it "legal in the privacy of one's own home," I ruled to make it illegal to smoke it in the workplace. I will concede that, at present, the cartel doesn't have the means to prevent folks from, as they say up north, "getting high on our own supply" just yet, but rest assured that is a temporary state of affairs.
This caused civil rights to drop from 54 and "Average" to 50 and "Below Average."
Military spending recently hit a new high.
That's right. Let our enemies both foreign and domestic know that they can't push the cartel around.
Employers may fire workers without giving any reason.
I trust mis carnales who I've put in charge of our industries here. And if they think firing some ungrateful pinche puto for some reason, or even releive them of their lives, I support their judgment all the way.
This caused the economy to rise from 86 to 88.
Bicyclists are banned from major roads.
Slap! That's not what I told you, pendejo! I told you to lock up the protestors protesting against automobiles and blocking traffic, I said nothing about banning bicycles! You're lucky there was no actual damage to the cartel's profits!
Public nudity is compulsory.
Of course. It's the best way to make sure that our employees aren't stealing product from us by hiding it in their pockets, sleeves or pant legs - don't let them have pockets, sleeves or pant legs! However, I still require everyone in the Golden Triangle to wear hats, so they can doff them to me when I pass by them.
This caused civil rights to drop from 50 and "Below Average" to 40 and "Some."
(OOC NOTE: All other pieces of legislation on this list thus far represent the decisions I imagine someone like Chapo Guzman would make if he were an actual head of state, but this one is real. And by that I mean, I heard a report once about how, at least before he was arrested, Guzman made the people of the town, Badiraguato, go around naked, except for hats, for the reason stated above. Furthermore, drug kingpins have always made the people who work on their production lines do so naked, just to make sure they have no place to hide stolen drugs.)
Citizens are barcoded to keep track of their movements.
As soon as I heard that we could stop people from stealing from the cartel dead in their tracks, I was all for it. Barcodes, ID cards, branding, it makes no difference to me.
This caused the WA to change our category from "Compulsory Consumerist State" to "Corporate Police State."
It caused civil rights to plummet from 40 and "Some" to 23 and "Rare."
It also caused crime to plummet from "a major problem" to "moderate."
Scientists regularly clone human beings for research purposes.
Why not? Good for science, good for the economy... and it's not like we don't have the laboratory space!
The alarmingly racist telenovela “Gringos Dicen las Cosas Mas Locos” is a hit.
That's fine. Why should this matter to the cartel?
Taxes fall from 8 to 5 percent. Fine. So what?
Civil rights rose from 23 to 25. Ho-hum...
Crime rose from "moderate" to "a problem." And just how the hell did that happen?
This caused the economy to fall from 88 to 83...
WHAT! HOW THE HELL DID THAT HAPPEN! HEADS WILL ROLL, HEADS WILL ROLL!
(OOC: Seriously, how could this possibly kill the economy so much?)
Programs of questionable content are shown at peak-hours.
Again with the TV stuff. And why should I care about this one? I like TV, and I shouldn't have to wait for midnight for the good programs to come on, why should anybody else?
Taxes fall from 5 to 4 percent. Don't care.
Youth-realted crime becomes a problem. That's just bad parenting.
Civil rights rise from 25 and "Rare" to 29 and "Few." Don't care.
The economy falls from 83 to 81. How? What is the corrolation of these two things?
Triangulo-made cars tend to catch fire in people's driveways.
Ja-ja! I mean, lo siento, but that's the price we pay. The only other option is putting regulations on the cartel's business, and we're certainly not going to do that!
Taxes rose from a 4 to a 5 percent flat rate. Don't care.
The economy rose from 81 to 83. Exploding cars, good for the economy? And compelling TV shows are bad for it? ¡Dios Mio! Why can't governing a country just make sense?
Traffic jams are a common sight due to construction work from a massive overhaul of the nation's freeways.
That's too bad, but
The government is spending billions of taxpayer dollars to support the Gambling industry.
Yeah, the "gambling industry"... among other industries. Hey, that is our business, after all. If we can't give the money to the "gambling" industry, what would we spend it on?
("Gambling" is just our code word so we don't have to tell the WA what our real "industries" are.)
Taxes rose from a 5 to a 7 percent flat rate. Don't care.
The economy rose from 83 to 87. ¡Buy bien!
Environmental protestors are being rounded up and taken away in sinister black vans as a massive land development campaign gets underway.
Of course. That’s a merciful fate for anyone who stands in the way of the cartel’s business.
Taxes rose from a 7 to an 8 percent flat rate. Don't care.
A large percentage of the poor live from cradle to grave in subterranean wage slavery.
That’s an unsubstantiated rumor! And even if it were true, would you prefer to see those slums above ground?
Civil Rights fell from 29 to 26. Don't care.
Taxes fell from an 8 to a 4 percent flat rate. Don't care.
Penurious citizens die from easily remedied ailments because they aren't “taking enough initiative.”
This is not un Estado de Benefactor, this is el Triángulo de Oro! If you don't do good work for the cartel, then the cartel owes you nothing!
Civil Rights fell from 26 and "Few" to 23 and "Rare." Don't care.
Prisons are crowded with possible terrorist suspects.
Good. My only problem with that statement is it says “prisons are crowded...” I would prefer it say “morgues are crowded...” or “cemetaries are crowded...” After the recent terrorist attacks, those would be merciful fates for those who stand in the way of the cartel!
Taxes rose from a 4 to an 5 percent flat rate. Don't care.
A cyber-war between file sharers and the music industry formats hard drives across the country.
We don’t understand this computer talk, but we do understand theivery, and when pinche cabrones want to steal from the cartel... we find a way to stop them.
Taxes rose from a 5 to an 6 percent flat rate. Don't care.
The nanny industry has had a boom after maternity leave was recently banned.
Glad we could help the nannies. But pregnant women need to understand that the cartel’s profits shouldn’t be punished for their failure to use proper birth control.
The nation's drinking water tends to glow green at night.
So what? If you don't like it, drink beer or tequila instead.
Taxes fell from an 6 to a 5 percent flat rate. Don't care.
The country has unplugged its internet connection to prevent subversive content.
The internet can be a great thing for research, but it can also be a very bad thing if cartel employees are using it to goof off, or even worse, learning about things that hurt the cartel. Better to err on the side of caution.
Civil Rights fell from 23 to 22. Don’t care.
Economy rose from 87 and “thriving” to 91 and “powerhouse” ¡Muy excelente!
Taxes rose from a 5 to an 6 percent flat rate. Don’t care.
Crime – especially youth related – fell from “a problem” to “moderate.” ¡Muy excelente tambien!
Mobile phone masts are being erected all over the country.
Good. Communication is a weapon, and el Triángulo de Oro needs to be well armed!
Scenic tours are unheard of after most environmental laws were abolished.
Good. People shouldn’t be “touring” el Triángulo de Oro anyway. Being nosy and traveling through places you’re not supposed to be can get you killed here.
Taxes fell from a 6 to an 5 percent flat rate. Don’t care.
The cartel seizes all major gold finds.
Uh-huh. I don’t see any need to explain that.
Civil Rights fell from 22 to 21. Don’t care.
Economy rose from 91 to 92 Great!
Abortions are routinely performed in Triangulo de Oro's hospitals.
That was not my intention! I only wanted to give the ranking members of the cartel the authority to decide whether mamacitas having babies or aborting them was in the cartel’s best interests, because I realize it’s not an either-or proposition. I don’t regret my decision, but I certainly regret this misinterpretation of my instructions.
Civil Rights rose from 22 and "rare" to 27 and "few." It's not that I care, but I don't know how that can be. My intention was never to give women the right to choose, but the members of the cartel the right to choose for them. I guess if this were a traditional country, I would say that I want the state to decide whether the woman brings the baby to term, not the woman herself. Oh, well...
Taxes fell from a 5 to an 4 percent flat rate. Don’t care.
Drug distribution is tightly controlled by the government.
Duh! Drug distribution is the business of the government! Of course we’re going to control it as tightly as we can!
Civil Rights fell from 27 and "few" to 22 and "rare." Ha! Easy come, easy go, pendejos!
Economy rose from 92 to 93 Great!
Taxes rose from a 4 to a 6 percent flat rate. Don’t care.
Crime, especially youth related, rose from "moderate" to "a problem, especially youth-related."
¿Qué? ¿Cómo? Well, crack down on them! Crack down on those pinche niños!
The state has declared war on the environment and environmentalists by association.
It’s not that we have a problem with the environment per se, we just have a problem with people who would threaten or hurt the cartel’s business by protesting on the environment's behalf. And if you want to call protecting our business by executing these disloyal maricones “war,” that’s fine with us!
Taxes fell from a 6 to a 5 percent flat rate. Don’t care.
Underage drinkers are dragged through the streets and put in the stocks.
Good! Serves those pinche niños right for wasting cartel resources, and not to mention getting high on the national supply!
Civil rights fell from 22 to 21. Don’t care.
Crime fell from "a problem (especially youth-related)" to "moderate." ¡Muy excelente!
The roads are notorious throughout the region for their peril.
Mira, we can't have speed limits in el Triángulo de Oro because the ability to conduct vehicular commerce at high-speed is vital to the cartel’s business. And if that makes the roads dangerous, then so be it. People shouldn’t be on the roads unless their business requires it anyway.
Civil rights rose from 21 and "rare" to 30 and "some." Well, I got rid of the speed limits to help commerce, not so people could have more rights, but if that's a side effect, then so be it.
Taxes fell from a 5 to a 4 percent flat rate. Don’t care.
Crime rose from "moderate" to "a problem." ¡Qué! ¿Cómo? Seriously, how can legalizing something that used to be illegal cause crime to go up? That doesn't make any sense at all!
The lowest age at which one can marry has been recently lowered to 12.
If children want to start getting married and producing more soledados for the cartel, let them.
Civil Rights up from 30 to 39. Again, I didn’t do it to give the people “rights,” I only did it because I saw it as an easy way to expand the work force.
WA category changes form “corporate police state” to “compulsory consumerist state.”
Taxes up from a 4 to a 5 percent flat rate. Don’t care.
Crime down from “a problem” to “moderate.” That’s more like it!
El Triángulo de Oro has become a gigantic dustbowl filled with tourists and mean desperados.
Tourists? What the hell are those pinche gringos doing here? Get rid of them, before they see something they’re not supposed to!
Crime rose from "moderate" to "a problem." This again? I am really sick of this crime rate yo-yo. Crack down on these people who are stealing from the cartel, ¡ahora!
University graduates and new homeowners toil in labor camps to work off their debts.
All I can say to that is, why only university graduates and new homeowners? Anybody who owes the cartel needs to pay! (And in el Triángulo de Oro, everybody owes the cartel!)
Taxes fell from a 5 to a 3 percent flat rate. Don’t care.
Economy fell from 93 to 92. Wait. How can securing a new source of free labor hurt the economy? That makes no sense at all!
The country is preparing for war.
If other nations call el Triángulo de Oro a “pariah,” the probably have good reason to do so.
So we must be preparing for war to defend the cartel and its interests, always.
Taxes rose from a 3 to a 5 percent flat rate. Don’t care.
The government is a law unto itself.
Uh-huh. As opposed to what?
Economy rose from 92 to 93. ¡Que bueno!
Taxes rose from a 5 to a 6 percent flat rate. Don’t care.
Scenic mountain valleys are flooded with water as damming projects get underway.
Would you environmentalist putas perfer coal-fired power plants everywhere? I didn't think so.
So cállate sus bocas.
Soylent products are an expensive commodity due to a lack of volunteers.
Those pinche cabrones! Why was it voluntary in the first place? I told them to grind up the dead into food for the living, I didn’t say to let people have the choice! Am I the only one who knows how to run a country here? ¡Son idiotas!
Civil Rights rose from 39 to 43. It’s not that I give a damn about civil rights either way, but they shouldn’t have gone up! You would think that grinding the dead into food for the living should have caused civil rights to go down! But oh, no. You putos had to misunderstand me... ¡Idiotas!
The government has cut its subsidies for all special interest groups.
Duh! El Triángulo de Oro has and will always have only one interest – the cartel and its profits.
Taxes fell from a 6 to a 3 percent flat rate. Don’t care.
Triángulo de Oro is notorious for its citizens’ infidelity.
Frankly, I don’t care who my citizens do, as long they keep their filthy peckers away from my hijas and hinas!
Civil Rights rise from 43 and “some” to 48 and “below average.” (See “report” below.)
Taxes fall from a flat rate of 3 to 2 percent. Don’t care.
Report: Why have civil rights risen so much recently?
It began when we accidentally legalized abortion. This measure raised civil rights five points because the cartel’s middle management misunderstood the instructions. We didn’t want the putas deciding for themselves whether to have or abort their fetuses, we wanted the managers deciding it. This mistake caused civil rights to rise five points.
Civil rights rose another nine points when we abolished speed limits, but this was not a mistake. Even though the increase in civil rights was a side effect, not the intention, the cartel would make the same decision again.
Civil rights rose another nine points when the legal age to marry was lowered to 12. Again, even though the intention was to expand the workforce, not award civil rights, the cartel doesn’t consider this a mistake and would make the same decision again.
Then the cartel’s middle management made the mistake of allowing people to choose whether they wanted to be made into food post mortem. I told them not to give people the choice, just start grinding! But they erred, and civil rights rose four points.
Then this most-recent legislation that increased civil rights to what the WA considers “below average.” Five points for not criminalizing adultery, which was not a mistake. For once, this is a right the cartel is happy to give people, and if faced with the same decision again, would choose the same option.
So, making the tally, civil rights, now 48, are nine points higher than they should be.
El Triángulo de Oro’s civil rights should be 39 and “some.”
That they are not at that point is the fault of middle managers soon to be terminated.
Guns are banned.
Uh, yeah. That’s a no brainer. We certainly don’t want people who aren’t members of the cartel to be armed.
Civil Rights down from 48 to 46. Well, that makes them a little closer to what they should be, according to the report above. (Unless you consider it to also where they should be down, in which case we're no closer at all.)
Taxes fell from a 3 to a 2 percent flat rate. Don't care.
Every citizen must submit to DNA testing to be eliminated from police inquiries.
Uh-huh. And if you haven’t stolen from the cartel, you have nothing to worry about.
Taxes rose from a 2 to a 3 percent flat rate. Don’t care.
Crime fell from “a problem” to “moderate.” ¡Excelente! That’s what I’m talking about! Keep up the good work!
(I can't believe that had no impact on civil rights... though it's not like I care.)
Skateboarding is punishable by heavy fines.
We could either let juvenile delinquents skate around and endanger hardworking people instead of working productively, or we can collect fines from them, and let the threat of fines motivate them want to work productively. This is a no brainer!
Conscientious objectors are hanged as traitors.
Uh-huh. I don’t see the problem. To refuse to serve the cartel is just like stealing from the cartel, and there’s only one type of punishment for stealing from the cartel!
Civil Rights down from 46 to 44. Don’t care.
Parents must choose their children's names from a government-mandated master list.
Uh-huh. We don’t want to have to call people by names that are hard to remember or pronounce. (OOC: And besides, the one compliment I will give to organized criminals is that nobody knows how to give cooler nicknames than they do!)
Almost all of Triangulo de Oro's water is piped into the country from abroad for exorbitant prices.
So what? The members of the cartel can afford it... The rest of the country... Hey! The members of the cartel aren’t going thirsty, and that’s all you need to worry about! Get back to work!
Economy up from 93 to 95. ¡Excelente!
A survey of the nation's rivers and children has shown that pesticide levels are at an all-time regional high.
Hey, I invite you to look at el Triángulo de Oro on a map. As you can see, it’s not the most fruitful and agriculturally productive land on Earth. So our agricultural industry need every technological advantage it can get, including pesticides, chemical fertilizers and things like that. And besides, it’s not like el Triángulo doesn’t have the expertise in the field of chemistry!
Senior citizens can usually be found doing heavy manual labour.
Uh-huh. What, are we supposed to let them steal from the cartel by not working just because they’re old? I don’t think so!
Civil Rights down from 44 and “below average” to 40 and “some.” Usually I wouldn’t care, but that gets it almost to what it should have been in the first place, so I’m glad.