Awesome/Funny NS quotes (not your own quotes, please)

[Sebastianbourg]

More respect for our Supreme Leader! Can't you see it's a baton; a baton that symbolises his benevolence and generosity to his people.

[Immoren]

....
The only units who actually issue a night time camouflage are either so high speed, low drag that they don't appear on Doppler radar, or are a police team conducting special law enforcement tasks.

[Geilinor]

Encouraging unhealthy lifestyles.

Send her to Gitmo, seize her assets.

Yeah, you'd just love to seize her assets, wouldn't you?

[Camelza]

This gave me a good laugh.

It's pretty much the the same as asking an Italian; Who's that "Ildio" god you believe in?

Isn't he the guy who got the trains to run on time?

[Cyrisnia]

Reminds me of the time I stumbled upon an article numerologically proving George Bush is the antichrist.

George | Herbert | Walker | Bush

6 7 6 4

6+7+6+4=23

2*3 = 6

There are 3 Bushes who have served political office

6*3=666

Which means they are the anti-christ.

However in 2011(2+0+1+1=4), there was a man who had 999 as his slogan. 999 is the opposite of 666, which means its the anti-anti-Christ, which is a double negative, and therefore negated.

Which means...


...Herman Cain is Jesus.



I rest my case.

[Constaniana]

George | Herbert | Walker | Bush

6 7 6 4

6+7+6+4=23

2*3 = 6

There are 3 Bushes who have served political office

6*3=666

Which means they are the anti-christ.

However in 2011(2+0+1+1=4), there was a man who had 999 as his slogan. 999 is the opposite of 666, which means its the anti-anti-Christ, which is a double negative, and therefore negated.

Which means...


...Herman Cain is Jesus.



I rest my case.

[The Republic of Lanos]

Who had these bears armed?

You called?

^_^

[Lavan Tiri]

I know the Black Riders try to present themselves as the Big Bads of NS regions, but they remind me more of mosquitos. Annoying, yes. Big & Bad, quite the opposite.

They have power in places where nobody else cares, realistically speaking.

[Grenartia]

I am making an alternate history RP wherein the Nazi's or the Axis in general won the war and then a Resistance Movement in the 1960's rises up to dislodge the Nazi's from their rule. I want to know a general opinion on the backstory I've setup, whether it makes sense or not.

Oh Decius, Decius, Decius.
It has been too long.

oh jesus god the formatting
god spare me from that awful formatting

When the Allies were completely defeated at Normandy,

Now how'd that happen?

the Russians were unable to make a decisive push against the Germans because no new troops were required to be transferred to the Western Front meaning the Eastern Front stood at a standstill on both sides.

Now that's completely wrong, given that the Bagration Offensive (which shattered Army Group Center and trapped Army Group North in the Baltic States) was planned completely independent of D-Day, and went ahead before the Germans could make any troops withdrawals westwards (6/20/44).
Even if D-Day had failed, Bagration would've annihilated the German lines two weeks later anyways. It wouldn't have made any difference.

On June 12th, 1944 Allied High Command discovered that German Agents within British Intelligence had passed the information along to Hitler that the supposed Invasion of Calais or another point was a fake

Wildly implausible. MI5 and the SOE had annihilated any semblance of a Nazi intelligence network within Britain by practically the end of the first month of the war. The only agents remaining were the ones that the security services had managed to capture and turn. The Germans were terrible at securing their assets.
Granted, both services were riddled with SOVIET moles, but that only became a major problem after the war was over. Germany was pratically incapable of keeping ONE spy safe in britain, much less a network.

and the real strike was coming at Normandy allowing the German General's Staff to organize a suitable counter-attack

See, that's problematic too, given Hitler's prejudices. The Germans actually had some info - gained mainly from French resistance fighters who had been captured - that the attack was coming in the Cherbourg-Caen area. They even had a snippet of the Maquis trigger phrase that would signal an imminent attack. The problem was, Hitler had convinced himself years in advance (thanks mainly to what had happened at Dieppe) that if an Allied landing was coming, it would HAVE to be at Calais, and that anything else was an Allied lie (except for maybe the threat to Norway, given Churchill's hang-up with the Narvik iron field). It made sense - Calais was closer, the British had had a historical connection to the place, and it was held as truth that the Allies would have to land right at or in a port (like at Dieppe). The idea of the Allied force landing at some desolate beach expanse like in Normandy was thought of as logistical suicide.
Hitler had committed himself to Calais being the target years before, and going back on his word was inconceivable. He'd staked his entire reputation as a military genius on the location being Calais, and he was fully prepared to disregard any information to the contrary as a deception.
Basically, he had Bodyguard backwards.

and hit the Allies once they believed they had taken the beaches.

That's a weird way to write that. "Believed they had taken the beaches"?
Either they had or they hadn't. It's not a matter of belief.
And so you're basically committing to the Geyr plan of "all-out inland panzer attack" over Rommel's "panzers on the beach" strategy?
The problem with that is that the Germans actually ended up executing Geyr's plan (more or less, and six weeks later) during Operation Luttich, where Hitler stripped the defensive perimeter bare of tanks and hurled then at the "weakest point" of the American lines at Mortain.
It didn't work. Allied air supremacy was total, the troops held on, the US tanks rode to the rescue and German offensive power was shattered right on time for the August breakout with Cobra. It didn't work then, why would it have worked here?
Hell, if anything, such an attack might have shortened the war by two or so months, destroying German armored power like that.
In addition, French transportation infrastructure was completely fucked. The old scare stories about what might have happened if the Calais garrison or all the Panzers in France had converged at Normandy is undercut by the fact that Allied air supremacy was so total, any attempt at sending reinforcements en masse would have just given the Tac Air Force and the RAF a shooting gallery. It took MONTHS for a panzer division to cross France - and not many Panzer divisions were in convenient locations to begin with.

With this revelation of British Intelligence being compromised in such a large way, it brought Allied Efforts across Europe and North Africa to a halt, not knowing whether or not to trust the information they were given.

There were no "Allied Efforts" in North Africa in 1944. The Italo-German Panzer Army surrendered in April of '43.
And why would British intelligence being deemed untrustworthy compromise American efforts? We had the OSS. We didn't need the British.
The entire Allied war effort was not hanging on the trustworthiness of the SOE.

Taking advantage of this, German Forces swept down into Italy beating back the Allied Forces there, fielding a brand new weapon from their Wunderwaffe Program, the Panzer VIII Maus Super Tank, crushing Allied Troops across the Italian Front.

Oh, for fuck's sake.
The Maus couldn't go up a fucking hill. How the hell could it have survived in Italy? The whole fucking country's a mountain range - and that's right smack where the Allied lines were in mid-44, high up in the Apennines.
Besides, as we have been through time and again, the Maus may have been literally the worst tank ever invented. For all that armor, a fighter-bomber strike would have killed it just as dead as a Panzer II. Infantry with satchel charges could've maneuvered around it and destroyed it with ease. Shermans could run rings around it. It was so slow, it could barely move on level ground. Judging from other German tanks of that weight class, it would also almost certainly have broken down constantly. It also probably would have broken every single bridge it tried to cross, given that it WEIGHED 190 TONS (for comparison, the most modern Abrams weighs about 120 tons).
To say nothing of fuel consumption.

By September, 1944 German Forces had recaptured Italy and restored Mussolini to power, bringing Italy back into the war.

Germany would never have allowed an independent Italy to exist again. Why would they? The country didn't support Mussolini anymore, they'd already proven themselves fatally unreliable by surrendering, and Hitler didn't like sharing power.
Makes no sense.

The new Italian Government which had declared war on Germany was wiped out and its supporters forced to flee the country.

There goes like 35% of the population, because nobody in the Allied Italian zones could stand Germany after liberation!

In October, the Allied Powers on the Western and African Fronts made a push to try and force the Germans to relocate troops from the Eastern Front to counter it in order to free up Russian Forces to push forward.

There was no "African Front" anymore.

Halfway through the month, an all out Bombing Attack was launched against German-Occupied France, with over 1,000 Bombers participating in the action across Occupied France targeting Supply and Troop positions. However, yet another weapon flowed out from the Wunderwaffe Program, two actually,

Are you trying to be cute?
Or did you literally forget what you were going to write and then remembered halfway through, but left it in anyways?

the first being the Flakpanzer Kugelblitz a Self-Propelled AA Gun which wreaked havoc in the sky

You do realize what the Kugelblitz was, right?
It was two 30mm AA guns sitting in a turret. It was not exactly revolutionary.
And it would have been useless against high-level bombing (or at least, no better than any normal set of AA guns), because it was designed to do one thing - to move with panzer formations and defend them against fighter-bomber strikes. Using them as static rear-echelon AA against high-level bombing is a ridiculous waste.

and the second being the Focke-Wulf Ta 152 High Altitude Fighter.

No way the Germans could have produced enough to make a difference.

Together these two new weapons destroyed more than half of the Bomber Force launched by the Allies with the Allied Air Power only able to inflict minimal damage against the German Forces in France.

The Ta152, even by the most generous estimates, would have not been nearly good enough to achieve those kind of results, and we've already established how the Kugelblitz wouldn't have mattered at all.
Oh, and here's a sterling testament of the early TA-152's quality:

It was found that critical systems were lacking sufficient quality control. Problems arose with superchargers, pressurized cockpits leaked, the engine cooling system was unreliable at best due in part to unreliable oil temperature monitoring, and in several instances the landing gear failed to properly retract.

What an amazing plane! Surely, a handful of those would be capable of downing >500 bombers at a go!

The German Wonder Weapon Program churned out more and more new weapons to use against the Allies, utilizing every last scientific mind in the Third Reich and putting more than 40% of the industry under the supervision of the program.

There are hardly words for how ridiculous this is.
First off, there was no "German wonder weapons program". There never was, because the various German services would rather have slit their own throats than cooperate with each other. What you had instead was a group of little fiefdoms in the Army/Luftwaffe/Navy/SS/whoever the fuck else, all trying to get Hitler's ear for their projects at the direct expense of everybody else. Suddenly, every German becomes selfless?
Second, German scientific minds were hardly reliable weapons-makers. Heisenberg, the foremost nuclear physicist left in Germany, was of the staunch opinion that making a nuclear bomb was impossible and wouldn't be shifted on the issue. He was maybe the single greatest roadblock to the German nuke program of all of them, and to many, he was also the indispensable component.
Third, the Germans had barely grasped the idea of military mass-production and industrial conscription by 1944 - and now, suddenly this mythical "program" has MORE THAN FORTY FUCKING PERCENT OF GERMAN INDUSTRY? Fucking hell, Speer couldn't make the Wolfsburg auto plant turn over to military production for years on end!
Given the pace of development, this would run the German war machine into the ground within a week. Just keeping up its basic obligations - bullets, butter, boots, etc - was straining the German economy to the limit. Do you have any idea how expensive and long-term such a program would be? It would take decades to make all the advances you're handing the Germans, at an absolutely unimaginable expense, and would require more labor and resources than existed in Continental Europe.
Fourth, the German economic policy was such a clusterfuck that there was basically no method for anybody - not even Hitler, to "turn over" industry to a project, much less on the scale you're talking about. Nothing. The Allies could sign juicy contracts with GM or the Kaiser yards to make tanks or carriers or whatever, and the Soviets had a very clear chain of command when it came to the design bureaus and what they should make and how much, but the Germans had no system at all - it was a total anarchy of competing branches and bureaus, all of them filled with corrupt and ignorant bureaucrats, and Hitler didn't care to manage it. Speer never got the hang of the system until practically 1945, and by then it was far too late.

The Germans bombed London, Moscow, and numerous other targets using their new He 343 Jet Bomber's;

Never even got off the drawing board, and now, suddenly, the Germans have massive fleets of them by October of 1944? How fast do you think it takes to develop a normal plane, much less one that would objectively be the most advanced in the world? At the rate the Germans were going, it would take decades!
But no - you think the Nazis are so awesome that they can design, test, produce, and fly the most advanced plane in the world in...what? Eight weeks?
Axiswank.

The Luftwaffe shattered the Allied Bomber Power with their Me 262 and Ho 229 Jet Fighters;

The Germans made 262s during the war.
They did not make any difference.
Oh, and of course, they have a magic fleet of Hortens, too.
Sure was good the Nazis had so many wizards to magic all these planes up for them out of nowhere - and all the fuel to fly them with too (because by your point of divergence in June, the German oil supply was already shattered beyond repair)!

The German Naval Power rose again with the new H-Class Battleships and Rocket U-Boat Ballistic Missile Submarines;

Oh, come on.
OK, let me go over this in detail:
First, the Germans only had a tiny number of actual military shipyards capable of heavy construction. If I'm generous, I'll say they had four: Bremen, Wilhelmshaven, Kiel, and Hamburg, Four ports. All of those ports had had the absolute shit bombed out of them by 1944, to the point where the remnants of the German battle fleet had to be hidden up in Norway. The facilities there were shattered - it would take actual decades just to fixc thyem up, much less make new battleships froms cratch.
Second, do you know how long it took to make the Bismarck and Tirpitz under pretty easygoing wartime conditions - no bombing, war going well?

It took over four whole years.

But that's OK. To you, the Nazis were apparently so awesome they can magic up a whole fleet out of thin air in...what? A week? I'm amazed you didn't just say they teleported them in from another dimension.
Besides, if the German battleship antics of the early war proved anything, it was that battleships were fucking useless anyways. The Tirpitz spent its entire lifepsan hiding at Trondheim because everybody knew it'd get annihilated if it poked its head out, and the Bismarck was hunted down like a mangy dog the second it got into the Atlantic.

Battleships were a waste of time, on top of being totally, categorically, objectively impossible to make so fast.

The Wehrmacht utilized their new Super Tanks to spearhead their way forward on the Eastern Front.

At the incredibly speed of SIX MILES AN HOUR, while getting blown up by Sturmoviks, trapped in the mud, drowned because of river bridges breaking, and suffering constant breakdowns all the while!

In order to meet the industrial capacity required to keep up the production of their new War Machines, the Nazi's invaded Spain and Portugal from France taking the two countries in just three weeks,

Holy Jesus Christ.
"To meet industrial capacity, the Germans decided to hugely expand the war by invading two countries comprising an absolutely massive amount of land to occupy and with a legendary tradition of partisan resistance, neither of which had any actual industry to begin with".
Plus, German tanks couldn't get over the Pyrenees in three weeks, much less across the country.

whilst another force seized Romania and Bulgaria.

Good of the wizards to magic up "another force" for the Germans!

This allowed the German War Machine to be sustained.

Also, all the magic unobtainium that served as a literally limitless source of fuel, food, steel, industrial capacity, and literally everything else helped out too!
Jesus Christ. This is so bad.

In order to sustain the economy of the Reich, Hitler ordered the revival of the more humane industries such as Automobiles and Agriculture, mostly in the occupied territories.

HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW?
From all the stuff you've described, you're overestimating German labor and industrial capacity by...I'd estimate approximately 800-900% at a conservative estimate (and that includes occupied areas, and yet somehow they have the spare industry and labor to let people go back to civilian work?
Good lord, how much more of this is there?

Throughout the remainder of 1944 and into early 1945, the revived Axis Powers in Europe beat back the Allies on all Fronts,

Listen: I know you have a huge, throbbing erection for the Nazis, but could you maybe not flaunt it so publicly? It's embarrassing.

whilst in the Pacific the Japanese Empire was in a holdout against the United States. German Scientists found their way via U-Boat to Japan to help them develop their way to get back to winning the war.

Did they bring their unicorn that they named Fluffy?

On March 3rd, 1945 as a combined Filipino/American Assault was being made to capture Manila, the Japanese fielded the product of the combined German-Japanese Scientific Initiative: The Kawanishi Baika Jet Fighter,

Of which thousands were made in about two hours!

which swept across the sky's destroying the Allied Air Cover and turning the tide for the Japanese so that they were now the winning side.

A single fighter does not a total air-sea-land victory make.

The next day multiple V-2 Rockets loaned to Japan by Germany are launched and the Allied Fleet still anchored off Manila is wiped out,

Holy fucking shit.
V-2s could only reliably hit a city-size target.
How the fuck can it hit ships? Much less enough to "destroy a fleet"?

and soon after the road to Rangoon is once again secured by Japanese Troops.

Through maaaagic!

Following that another new weapon; the Japanese Nakajima G10N Ultra-Long Range Heavy Bomber,

Fueled by nothing other than ordinary rice husks and grass, because that was all the fuel Japan had!

the project having been restarted earlier,

Oh that's convenient.

was fielded and used to bomb multiple American Bases in the Pacific on March 12th through 16th.

Apparently, the US Air Force has decided to go home and have a good cry.
Seriously, do the Allies do literally anything in this little screed besides fail and shake their fists at the heavens?

These repercussions threw a monkey wrench into previous American Plans for victory in the Pacific, which was a very hoped for victory considering the worsening Allied Situation in Europe.

Oh, never mind.

However by April 1st, 1945 when Japanese Warships began shelling American Forces on Iwo Jima,

Oh, so the Japanese fleet magically came back from the dead too?
Were they fueled by unicorn farts and cherry blossoms?

it became clear that victory in the Pacific was at that moment as far off as victory in Europe.

Well, that's what happens when the person writing the story is obviously pulling very hard for one side to win, for reasons that are seem more than a little bit icky.

With the Japanese having the benefit of some of the best scientists of the Wunderwaffe Program,

The Germans having an infinity of scientists capable of designing, testing producing, and refining perfect wonder weapons in a matter of hours...

the Allies now were facing super weapons on all fronts.

Serves them right for not being Nazis!
Am I right, Decius?

Not only that but with the help of the Germans, the Japanese developed a new code without the knowledge of the Allies.

Not only that, but Hirohito was secretly fucking Eleanor Roosevelt and Winnie Churchill on the side, as Hitler went and gave Stalin an atomic swirlie while Mussolini dumped his books!

Allied Intelligence kept intercepting Japanese Messages but without the ability to decode them.

I would seriously point out all the historical errors and impossibiolities in all this (namely, that the Japanese were convinced that no white people could ever crack ANY of their codes), but I'm starting to realize how utterly pointless that is.
Jesus Christ, how much time did you spend on this?
All that time, you could've actually been researching the actual, you know, realities of the war...or...doing anything else...

This meant that the Allies know longer could be one step ahead of the Japanese.

Then, everybody in America literally choked on their own saliva, because in this universe, anyone who isn't a Nazi or Imperial Japanese is literally retarded!

A true low for the Allies came on May 26th, 1945 when more than two hundred German V-2 Rockets were launched at various targets in Russia, wiping out over one and half million Soviet Troops in just one day.

*sigh*
That is a kill ratio of >7500 dead per rocket.
The highest death total ever reported from a single rocket strike was about 500, when a V-2 hit a movie theater in Holland in a freak occurrence (it was off-target anyways).
Come ON, Decius.

Following that on May 27th, German Forces made a blitzkrieg into Russia capturing positions from Leningrad down to Rostov effectively establishing a line separating Soviet Russia from German-Occupied Russia.

It sure was a good thing the Russians were sitting around with their thumbs up their asses!
Also, there is literally no worse tank in the world then the Maus for "blitzkrieg". The thing's a barely-mobile, deeply shitty bunker.

The Russians did not have much breathing time as on June 1st, the Germans fielded another weapon; the Schwerer Gustav Rail-Mounted Howitzer

Hey, a weapon that actually could have existed at the time! Sweet Jesus!
With only the tiny weakness that it took months to move literally anywhere, and was only rail-mobile!

and with their new line established about 200 Kilometers west of Moscow,

Why 200? Why not 100, Why not 50? Apparently, the Germans are magic, so why not just say they teleported an army right into the Kremlin?
Believe me, if you can make a battleship flotilla in a month, you can teleport.

that meant that German Forces could shell any Russian Forces and Defensive Emplacements on the outskirts of the Russian Capital's Defense Line.

The funny thing is, 200 km is literally four times the range of the Gustav alone.
I mean...this is not hard to look up. It took five seconds.

On June 5th, another V-2 Bombardment took place against Soviet Cities to the east of Rostov, wiping out over a million Soviet Troops

Those are some magic V-2s, man.

and allowing German Troops to launch another push on June 7th, capturing the way to Turkey

Sure. Why the hell not.

and extending their line so that it spanned from the Sea of Azov to the Caspian Sea. In mid-June, Stalin began trying to negotiate a peace agreement with Hitler but the only condition the Nazi Leader would accept is absolute submission of the Soviet Nation to German Rule and the disbandment of the Soviet Armed Forces along with the release of all German Prisoners of War.

I genuinely feel like I'm reading what amounts to the worldbuilding for Nazi slashfic, with Hitler as the Mary Sue protagonist.

However Hitler knew it was vital to make sure that the Russians were unable to destroy any valuable recourses that German Forces could capture

If you're done tongue-bathing Hitler for a moment...

so he ordered that the Luftwaffe begin dropping Paratroopers into Industrial Areas and such before attacks so they could prevent the Russians from destroying what could be vital factories. The tactic saw much success considering the already mass disorder amongst the Red Army.

Why the hell would Hitler have even cared? He already had wizards conjuring wonderweapons and whole battlefleets for him out of thin air?
I can't believe I'm still seriously engaging with this.

Whilst the Germans advanced on the Eastern Front, at the same time the Allied Powers in the west attempted yet another invasion of German-Occupied Europe, this time selecting Dunkirk and Calais, with the British and French taking Calais and America and other Resistance Forces taking Dunkirk. More than half a million Troops were to be utilized in Dunkirk and over a million were to be used at Calais and full support was to be provided by the RAF and Allied Naval Forces in England. It was the Western Allies desperate all-out last attempt to turn the tide of the war. The two Invasion Forces were launched from Portsmouth on May 28th, 1945 however not more than an hour later they were spotted from the air.

Why are you writing this?
Seriously, though, do you get off to this?
What narrative purpose does ANY of this serve?
I don't know if you're a Nazi or not, but I seriously don't know what anybody would get out of this if they weren't a Nazi.

They were not even spotted by a Recon Plane but the lead plane of a German Bomber Group on its way to bomb a target in Britain.

Why is this important?

I can't go any further - partially because that this is now basically beyond meaningful criticism beyond "none of this makes any sense", and partially because it would take me a full day and night to get through this unformatted, wall-o-text nightmare.
This is ridiculous. I have no idea why anyone would devote THAT level of effort to getting things so totally wrong, unless they got off on the idea of the Nazis being perfect and flawless.
This would probably fit better on Stormfront, honestly.
If you're mad at me, well, you asked for feedback.

[MERIZoC]

On what nationstates is.

Political game where people talk about abortion, some guy defends Stalin in every thread he is mentioned in, while Joe Biden sarcastically rails against people with unrealistic views on how social-democracy works.

[Lavan Tiri]

My body is ready, Josh.

>I was only 9 years old
>I loved Josh so much, I had all the RP's and Characters
>I pray to Josh every night before bed, thanking him for the RP I've been given
>"Josh is love" I say; "Josh is life"
>Illan hears me and calls me a faggot
>I know he was just jealous of my devotion for Josh
>I called him a cunt
>He slaps me and sends me to go to Forum 7
>I'm crying now, and my face hurts
>I lay in bed and it's really cold
>Suddenly, a warmth is moving towards me
>It's Josh
>I am so happy
He whispers into my ear "Catholics."
>He grabs me with his powerful OP hands and puts me down onto my hands and knees
>I'm ready
>I spread my ass-cheeks for Josh
>He penetrates my butt-hole
>It hurts so much but I do it for Josh
>I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water
>I push against his force
>I want to please Josh
>He roars in a mighty roar as he fills my butt with his love
>Illan walks in
>Josh looks him straight in the eyes and says "Catholics."
>Josh leaves through my window
>Josh is love. Josh is life.

I laughed so hard I cried.

[Hurtful Thoughts]

(Image)

imma helo crane
imma helo crane
suck my payload capability
imma helo crane

Chaffee checkin' out dat ass

It's an M41 walker-bulldog, but still...

Dat ass.

[The Great Warrior Rivers]

I wonder what'll happen on NSG next week when we're all banned. I mean, there's gonna be, like, 4 people left not banned.

"Hey guys, how has NSG been d-"

From the Should Nonwhites be Banned thread.

[Esternial]

'tis a shame we'll never know...

I guess there's only one thing to do.

Hehe.

[The Republic of Lanos]

Epic Godwin.

Oh boo hoo, zombies are so boring. You know who doesn't care how boring zombies are? ZOMBIES. You will be standing there, all, "Honestly, this again, not very zeitgeisty, is it, Julian," and they will SUCK OUT YOUR EYEBALLS. That's how much zombies don't care about being hip.

Your my first target froob.

[Grenartia]

>I was only 9 years old
>I loved Josh so much, I had all the RP's and Characters
>I pray to Josh every night before bed, thanking him for the RP I've been given
>"Josh is love" I say; "Josh is life"
>Illan hears me and calls me a faggot
>I know he was just jealous of my devotion for Josh
>I called him a cunt
>He slaps me and sends me to go to Forum 7
>I'm crying now, and my face hurts
>I lay in bed and it's really cold
>Suddenly, a warmth is moving towards me
>It's Josh
>I am so happy
He whispers into my ear "Catholics."
>He grabs me with his powerful OP hands and puts me down onto my hands and knees
>I'm ready
>I spread my ass-cheeks for Josh
>He penetrates my butt-hole
>It hurts so much but I do it for Josh
>I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water
>I push against his force
>I want to please Josh
>He roars in a mighty roar as he fills my butt with his love
>Illan walks in
>Josh looks him straight in the eyes and says "Catholics."
>Josh leaves through my window
>Josh is love. Josh is life.

I laughed so hard I cried.

Can we have some context, since both of the quoted links lead to a forum we're not authorized to read?

[Grenartia]

Back at base...

Intel officer: "How many kills?"
Pilot: "Three! I got all three of 'em!"
Intel officer: "Really? What a coincidence, the last three pilots I debriefed also claimed three kills each..."

Or this:
*three ISIS jets flying in formation*
Flight lead: "Alright, today we show these infidels what the might of Allah...."
*radar warning sensor goes off*
FL: "what in the name of Allah is that infernal beepi-"
*All three get blotted out by 8 AIM-120D's 50 miles away sits a flight of f-22's, Danger zone can be faintly heard over the comms*
American flight lead: "Well that wasn't very exciting. Simmons turn that music off, this fight isn't worthy of that song.
Simmons: "I knew we should have used guns"
Third F-22 pilot: "Aloha Snack bar Motherfuckers"

EDIT:

Or this:
*three ISIS jets flying in formation*
Flight lead: "Alright, today we show these infidels what the might of Allah...."
*radar warning sensor goes off*
FL: "what in the name of Allah is that infernal beepi-"
*All three get blotted out by 8 AIM-120D's 50 miles away sits a flight of f-22's, Danger zone can be faintly heard over the comms*
American flight lead: "Well that wasn't very exciting. Simmons turn that music off, this fight isn't worthy of that song.
Simmons: "I knew we should have used guns"
Third F-22 pilot: "Aloha Snack bar Motherfuckers"

AWACS operator: "Thanks guys, now I get to stare at a blank scope for the next six hours till we're off station. God, this is gonna suck..."

[The Archregimancy]

Yumyumsuppertime's response to a possible interpretation of misspelling my nation name as "Arachnamincy"

No, no, no... it's the study of offensively camp gay spider stereotypes.

Right, like the theme song for the cartoon.

Spider-Gay, Spider-Gay,
Does whatever a spider may.
Spins a web any size
Keeps his spice rack organized,
Look out,
Here comes the Spider-Gay

Is he smart? Listen, bitch.
Knows the diff between camp and kitsch.
He can swing from a thread,
Find a nice duvet for the bed.
Hey there! There goes the Spider-Gay!

[Dyakovo]

I do not want the Down's syndrome people walking around either.

Hey, there.

Father of a disabled child, here, though she doesn't have Down's Syndrome. Just a question for you, and I hope that you take it in the spirit in which it was intended:

How fucking dare you?

Look, I've accepted that you have a unique sense of humor, and I've even learned to appreciate both that and your seemingly mystical ability to avoid getting warned for trolling. Hell, I even put you up for "Best Sarcasm". This, though? This is beyond the pale. This is vile. This is taking an entire class of people who are doing the best that they can to overcome major disabilities, and totally dehumanizing them. It's horrific. It's actually offensive. It's ableism of the highest order. Even as a joke, it's simply nasty. Hell, it's arguable that it's worse as a joke, because it means that rather than having a perspective that might be changed with enough education, you simply have such a shriveled soul that you see people with disabilities as somehow being a ripe subject for humor. God, how dickish can you be? You're trivializing their struggles and the struggles of their families. You're dismissing the bravery and strength that it takes to get up every day and deal with a culture in which you're often seen as little more than an object of scorn or pity. You're painting people who do their goddamned best every day of the week to keep up with the rest of the world as mere annoyances that you don't care to be subjected to. You're describing them in terms that strip them of basic humanity and dignity.

With the full understanding that I will be warned or otherwise sanctioned for this, and full acceptance of whatever punishment the moderators choose to dish out to me as a result of the following words, I have to say this as the father of a child who is going to deal with her own struggles due to a disabling physical condition.

On behalf of my daughter, and on behalf of her fellow people who deal with disabilities, fuck you. Fuck you, you goddamned fucking asshole. Fuck your snide attitudes, fuck your dehumanizing language, fuck your idea that the struggles of others to overcome enormous obstacles are worthy of dismissal, fuck your asinine sense of humor, fuck your constant unaddressed trolling of threads, fuck your arrogance that has nothing to back it up, fuck your superior attitude, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you. You may not be the biggest asshole on this forum, but by God, you're the only one who seems to be able to get away with it on a regular basis. I'm sick of that, and I'm sick of you, you major goddamned fucking prick asshole. I sincerely hope that you're somehow inflicted with a major brain injury (NOTE: This is not a threat to cause one for you), and that you end up drooling in a wheelchair, entirely dependent upon others to change your diapers, and subjected to looks of pity and revulsion as the nurse takes you for your daily stroll around the park. See how you feel about disabled people then, and whether or not their daily challenges are worthy of mockery.

[Crysuko]

Hey, there.

Father of a disabled child, here, though she doesn't have Down's Syndrome. Just a question for you, and I hope that you take it in the spirit in which it was intended:

How fucking dare you?

Look, I've accepted that you have a unique sense of humor, and I've even learned to appreciate both that and your seemingly mystical ability to avoid getting warned for trolling. Hell, I even put you up for "Best Sarcasm". This, though? This is beyond the pale. This is vile. This is taking an entire class of people who are doing the best that they can to overcome major disabilities, and totally dehumanizing them. It's horrific. It's actually offensive. It's ableism of the highest order. Even as a joke, it's simply nasty. Hell, it's arguable that it's worse as a joke, because it means that rather than having a perspective that might be changed with enough education, you simply have such a shriveled soul that you see people with disabilities as somehow being a ripe subject for humor. God, how dickish can you be? You're trivializing their struggles and the struggles of their families. You're dismissing the bravery and strength that it takes to get up every day and deal with a culture in which you're often seen as little more than an object of scorn or pity. You're painting people who do their goddamned best every day of the week to keep up with the rest of the world as mere annoyances that you don't care to be subjected to. You're describing them in terms that strip them of basic humanity and dignity.

With the full understanding that I will be warned or otherwise sanctioned for this, and full acceptance of whatever punishment the moderators choose to dish out to me as a result of the following words, I have to say this as the father of a child who is going to deal with her own struggles due to a disabling physical condition.

On behalf of my daughter, and on behalf of her fellow people who deal with disabilities, fuck you. Fuck you, you goddamned fucking asshole. Fuck your snide attitudes, fuck your dehumanizing language, fuck your idea that the struggles of others to overcome enormous obstacles are worthy of dismissal, fuck your asinine sense of humor, fuck your constant unaddressed trolling of threads, fuck your arrogance that has nothing to back it up, fuck your superior attitude, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you. You may not be the biggest asshole on this forum, but by God, you're the only one who seems to be able to get away with it on a regular basis. I'm sick of that, and I'm sick of you, you major goddamned fucking prick asshole. I sincerely hope that you're somehow inflicted with a major brain injury (NOTE: This is not a threat to cause one for you), and that you end up drooling in a wheelchair, entirely dependent upon others to change your diapers, and subjected to looks of pity and revulsion as the nurse takes you for your daily stroll around the park. See how you feel about disabled people then, and whether or not their daily challenges are worthy of mockery.

The sheer amount of rekt in this post is legendary.

[Dakran]

The sheer amount of rekt in this post is legendary.

Best smack down of 2014 . Completely serious here.

[Reploid Productions]

The sheer amount of rekt in this post is legendary.

Best smack down of 2014 . Completely serious here.

Not gonna lie- even though we had to hit him a redtext for it, that was an epic goddamn tear-down.

[United Marxist Nations]

Best smack down of 2014 . Completely serious here.

Not gonna lie- even though we had to hit him a redtext for it, that was an epic goddamn tear-down.

This probably isn't the right place for it, but I really aren't sure about the precedent it sets of light punishment for wishing real-life harm to someone on the site just because emotions are high. I can understand his anger, certainly, but the fact remains that he said: "I sincerely hope that you're somehow inflicted with a major brain injury ..., and that you end up drooling in a wheelchair, entirely dependent upon others to change your diapers, and subjected to looks of pity and revulsion as the nurse takes you for your daily stroll around the park. " to another poster on NSG, which is very against the rules. That falls directly into the category of celebrating violence against a real-life poster. Just going on previous precedents, the punishment should have been way greater, and the mod team isn't taking the post as seriously as it should be. As the One Stop Rules shop states:

Threats: Any post, telegram, or other entry which can be read as a threat against a player's life or safety is forbidden. We will consider all such threats to be real and actual, not satire or hyperbole, and act accordingly.

Emphasis mine. Regardless of the fact that the post says that it isn't intended as a threat, it can definitely be read as a threat. I mean, what is the difference between saying "I don't mean this as a threat, but I hope you suffer a debilitating brain injury that leaves you permanently mentally and physically disabled" and "I don't mean this as a threat, but I hope someone shoots you in your goddamn head".

Again, probably not the place for it, and I personally dislike G&D, but the lightness of the punishment goes against the written rules, and precedents.

[Yumyumsuppertime]

Not gonna lie- even though we had to hit him a redtext for it, that was an epic goddamn tear-down.

This probably isn't the right place for it, but I really aren't sure about the precedent it sets of light punishment for wishing real-life harm to someone on the site just because emotions are high. I can understand his anger, certainly, but the fact remains that he said: "I sincerely hope that you're somehow inflicted with a major brain injury ..., and that you end up drooling in a wheelchair, entirely dependent upon others to change your diapers, and subjected to looks of pity and revulsion as the nurse takes you for your daily stroll around the park. " to another poster on NSG, which is very against the rules. That falls directly into the category of celebrating violence against a real-life poster. Just going on previous precedents, the punishment should have been way greater, and the mod team isn't taking the post as seriously as it should be. As the One Stop Rules shop states:

Threats: Any post, telegram, or other entry which can be read as a threat against a player's life or safety is forbidden. We will consider all such threats to be real and actual, not satire or hyperbole, and act accordingly.

Emphasis mine. Regardless of the fact that the post says that it isn't intended as a threat, it can definitely be read as a threat. I mean, what is the difference between saying "I don't mean this as a threat, but I hope you suffer a debilitating brain injury that leaves you permanently mentally and physically disabled" and "I don't mean this as a threat, but I hope someone shoots you in your goddamn head".

Again, probably not the place for it, and I personally dislike G&D, but the lightness of the punishment goes against the written rules, and precedents.

I can't help but notice that you put ellipsis in the place where I clearly and specifically stated that this was not a threat against him.

[United Marxist Nations]

This probably isn't the right place for it, but I really aren't sure about the precedent it sets of light punishment for wishing real-life harm to someone on the site just because emotions are high. I can understand his anger, certainly, but the fact remains that he said: "I sincerely hope that you're somehow inflicted with a major brain injury ..., and that you end up drooling in a wheelchair, entirely dependent upon others to change your diapers, and subjected to looks of pity and revulsion as the nurse takes you for your daily stroll around the park. " to another poster on NSG, which is very against the rules. That falls directly into the category of celebrating violence against a real-life poster. Just going on previous precedents, the punishment should have been way greater, and the mod team isn't taking the post as seriously as it should be. As the One Stop Rules shop states:



Emphasis mine. Regardless of the fact that the post says that it isn't intended as a threat, it can definitely be read as a threat. I mean, what is the difference between saying "I don't mean this as a threat, but I hope you suffer a debilitating brain injury that leaves you permanently mentally and physically disabled" and "I don't mean this as a threat, but I hope someone shoots you in your goddamn head".

Again, probably not the place for it, and I personally dislike G&D, but the lightness of the punishment goes against the written rules, and precedents.

I can't help but notice that you put ellipsis in the place where I clearly and specifically stated that this was not a threat against him.

Which I addressed later in the comment, and gave my reason for such. It's like putting "no offense", then going on to state something offensive. No matter how it is interpreted, what you said is very threatening. This is coming from a guy who got a 7 day ban for threats (granted, in conjunction with major threadjacking) for saying that, in a hypothetical scenario in which a proletarian revolution was taking place, I would be willing to kill another poster if he fought against it. I don't think it would have been any different had I said "I won't kill you myself, but I would be very happy to learn that Political Commissar such-and-such had carried out the deed".