Awesome/Funny NS Quotes (Not Your Own Quotes, Please!)

[Idzequitch]

would it be okay if I just posted a vent here, completely in a spoiler, just to get it off my chest?

Dunno TET already has plenty of air circulation.

[Tinfect]

Well I think I know what'll be on the U.S. National Happenings page if this passes:

(Image) The United States of America fell out of the Top 5% of the world for Most Developed.

[Utceforp]

Well I think I know what'll be on the U.S. National Happenings page if this passes:

(Image) The United States of America fell out of the Top 5% of the world for Most Developed.

Link? It sounds like a funny joke, but I'm missing some key context.

[Zoice]

Funny things, the foreskins. Always make you wonder if using a few for a broth would make you a cannibal.

When I told you to "go eat a bag of dicks" I wasn't being literal.

[Kannap]

Link? It sounds like a funny joke, but I'm missing some key context.

From a thread called "Oklahoma Passes Bill Criminalizing Almost All Abortions"

[Jeinasi]

From a thread debating whether or not God exists.

God exists. I met him in one of my LSD trips, but also because when some girl dressing skimpy says 'Only God can judge me', and you hear a booming voice in the air that says "YOU'RE A WHORE".

[Europe and Oceania]

Talking about the immigration crisis in Europe.

Germans don't have a great history of hindsight.

>Fights WW1
>Loses
>Versailles Treaty
>well, this sucks
>Fascism
>WW2
>Minorities don't deserve the same rights as us!
>This is the minorities' fault!
>Kill a lot of Jews
>Oh, and gays
>Maybe som gypsies too
>Everyone hates us
>Cold War
>Minorities don't deserve the same rights as us!
>Rinse, repeat

[Wallenburg]

*hold Gambia's hand with both hands*

Why do I need to hold you? Summer isn't here yet.

Hell guys. I just got here and would like to join you in one of your RP's. Here's a sample of my writing.

John turn corner and gun down guy. He reload and. "We got to move" He pick up gun and fire again. John got hurt but kept moving, he got shot in head but it was only graze.

Am I in now?

Context: One of us made a puppet and pretended to be a Summerite.

[Shofercia]

As far as alleged parody accounts and "great" rebuttals go, I think it's very funny, and my quote's only here to provide the context, due to quote tree rules:

We're talking about the Guardian article, and he starts quoting our debate about Putin's future. Lyin' Shofercia is at it again! Really sad.

You're the one who's lying:

Spaced-Out Shofercia says one thing...

[Post from 12:28]

And then says something entirely different.

[Post from 12:23]

Busted. Again. When Putin is couped and 12:28 AM predates 12:23 AM, fax me. And try not to use three/four year old name calling in the fax. Thanks!

You're the one who's lying:



Busted. Again. When Putin is couped and 12:28 AM predates 12:23 AM, fax me. And try not to use three/four year old name calling in the fax. Thanks!

Nobody uses fax anymore, Lyin' Shofercia

[Jeinasi]

From a Pro-Life RMB. My quotes for context.

Jeinasi-Most of the time a teenager aborts,they're killing an unborn baby just because they wanted to "have fun". If they have sex when they are that young, let them deal with the consequences, or just give the baby up for adoption.

Vulkata-This is why we have condoms.
FOR SALE!

[Europe and Oceania]

Talking about hypocrisy of religious capitalists.

If you want to go somewhere other than left wing perspectives there are solid traditional christian reasons to abolish money too. The ability to create hordes of wealth that can be easily accounted and multiplied for greedy reasons is sinful. Not only that but the usefulness of money encourages a society focused on wealth accumulation and not sacrifice for the greater good and for God. This is why the conservative Catholic Church is often considered economically left wing, even Christian doctrines can find issue with the system of money in society.

[The Grey Wolf]

Asexuality exists. As your linked article points out, it's natural for some people.

I am asexual. I am not aromantic and, much like some gay men that marry an opposite gender spouse and have procreated, I have a daughter. Just because asexual people don't have a drive doesn't mean we can't perform when required. But that's what it is for many of us -- a performance. Or, for some, it's a chore.

Asexual people tend to be stereotyped as unemotional or unable to express/experience any feelings. People assume we're gay or lesbian because we don't date the opposite gender in high school. Nothing could be farther from the truth. Most of us have vibrant personalities.

I have never seen it as an orientation. Grey-A's can be heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual. I've never seen asexuality as a mental illness. Our genitalia are not deformed nor "broken". We are not creepers.

I loathe "Ace" as jargon for us, I glare at the nice people that insist on forcing me into an orientation (straight or gay), and I snort when people try to lump me into some protected class. Masturbation is boring. Such is life. It's liberating, in a sense. And, as Noraika pointed out, we roll our eyes at all the sex and sexualized content in media. Porn is comedy.

But there are a lot of younger people on this site, and so it might be good to give you some hope. High school and college don't dictate how the rest of your life should be. Don't beat yourself up over your lack of drive. It's okay to be this way. It doesn't mean you're not a valid person. You're not broken. You may be demisexual and haven't found that special person yet. When you do, you'll know, and that relationship will have deeper impact, IMHO. You won't always be alone unless you prefer to be. But be straight up honest with the person interested in you. Let them know you're asexual, and reassure them that your lack of attraction really hasn't anything to do with their attractiveness.

When I married, I married my best friend. Our union isn't based on sex but upon deeper meaning, and truly I can't think of any woman besides her who could bring me as much joy and emotional satisfaction as my Swith does. It helps that she's demisexual. She understands.

This seemed pretty awesome.

[Kannap]

Part of a conversation in TET after somebody made a typo of "pork" as "porn"

XD Oh you guys ...

"I'll have the eggs, toast, juice, and a side of porn."
"Would you like those over easy?"
"No, I prefer hard core ..."

[Wallenburg]

Then I stand amused that conservatives are trying desperately to change The Way Things Have Always Been.

They are truly ducks of the highest caliber.
Edit: who am I to argue with autocorrect?

[Anollasia]

Well, New Zealand is officially "bicultural", even though mainstream European culture and Maori culture tend to blend quite a bit.

Although personally, I've seen more culture in a yoghurt.

[The Princes of the Universe]

Based Gallo.

If someone is a misandrist, by definition they're not a feminist, in the same way that someone who doesn't live in Scotland and doesn't have Scottish ancestry or citizenship actually isn't a true Scotsman, no matter what they say.

So then pretty much all the powerful feminists are not feminist?

NOW isn't a feminist organization. Mary Koss (author of the 1 in 4 study feminists have been touting like crazy lately) is anti-feminist. The feminists in India who got their gender neutral rape law reversed aren't real feminists. The feminists who are (as far as I know, currently still) fighting Israel's attempts to neutralize the rape law are not feminists. All proponents of the Duluth model aren't true feminists.

I mean, at this point, I know exactly one feminist by your definition, and she's skeptical of the feminist movement as of late. Almost everyone commonly labelled as feminists are excluded by definition.

I mean, it's like defining "Christian" as someone who follows Jesus' teachings, and then excluding Catholics and Orthodoxy by definition. You can say that of course, but if you exclude almost all the Christians in the world from being Christians by definition, your definition is useless.

Same with feminism.

[The Holy Therns]

Silly Ethel, NationStates is not Facebook!

❤ Gallade, Ethel Mermania

[Imperial Idaho]

Diplomatic Centre, Kansas City, Caeulum, Constitutional Republic of Freedonia

"Mr. President, I would advise that you do not shoot that man, as I believe he intends to cuddle you."

[New Dukaine]

Modern technology is to blame for this. I'm proposing we store our data not using hard drives but by using trained hamsters popping up flash cards.

Ballotonia

[Maljaratas]

AS the entirety of entirety imploded upon itself it a literal shitstorm, a lowly cleaning robot working on board an isolated deep space station in an isolated, mostly empty universe was jostled from its hovering position and accidentally flipped a single analog switch, inadvertently tearing off the tape that read 'DO NOT FLIP THIS SWITCH' in Swahili. The switch activated a giant boot, which then kicked the back of the glass tank holding the Eldritch Brain. The glass shattered, and the cold air bathing the recently suspended organ caused it to sprout arms, legs, and facial features (including a handlebar mustache) and wake up from its long slumber. The Ravagery became infinite in size, grew wings (which were also infinite in size) and flew into the sunset that had somehow appeared in the infinite void of interhyperbranal space. Once it had traveled for an infinitely long period of time, it transformed into an infinitely-large marijuana plant and dug its rots into the fields of infinity. It then grew a large, humanlike ass, hung that ass over the entirety of the omniwhateververse, and sent a blast of explosive diarrhea that was infinite in volume flying out at ifninite speed in every direction.

The long trip without any god damn rest stops had certainly caused quite the case of travel sickness, and it felt amazing to finally relieve all of the built-up excrement, despite the fact that it left an uncomfortably warm, annoyingly wet feeling up It's infinitely-long rectal cavity.

A tad graphic, a little old, and from the Gigyas rp. (extremely low quality)

[Imperial Idaho]

Discussing Californian Independence,

Just build a very big diamond-blade saw, and cut California free of the North American Plate. Tow her around Cape Horn (lengthways of course) and run her aground on the edge of the Eurasian plate, near Ireland or Portugal (take your pick). There will be some earthquakes, but Californians aren't afraid of those are they?

Now impose a strict immigration policy (much easier now that California-Atlantis is an island and sovereign nation, just take the Australian policy of "stop the boats" and add some firepower, now it's "sink the boats", plus air travel would be banned). Poach the rich and the ambitious from the UK and all of Europe, from Arfrica and Scandinavia too, and deport criminals and losers to the United States.

Califlantis won't have oil or coal to mine, it probably won't even have gas. But what the fuck, let's be ambitious and frack the ocean plate and see what comes up. Volcanoes? Some would say a disaster, but to the brave new continent it's an opportunity.

Best nation ever. Anyone who doubts it should leave before we even get the big diamond saw spinning, and if they're still dissenting when we begin the Big Move I say conscript them to the Anti-Dolphin Force and throw them into combat armed only with pool noodles. I mean "throw" literally: drop them from helicopters, at least five nautical miles from the coast. They're traitors, the opportunity to be raped by a dolphin is more than they deserve.

I'm not entirely unreasonable though. The option of California staying in the Union should be considered too.

[Aphryss]

A tetrahedron is quite generous in this case. Trad has a lot more edges than that. A sphere seems about right. Its infinitely edgy, and infinitely pointless. Only problem is, it exists in 3 dimensions, and Trad is quite obviously 2 dimensional. So he's demoted to circle.

The CDC recently announced that there are not enough skin graft donors to cope with this sickest of burns.

[Stellonia]

God exists. I met him in one of my LSD trips, but also because when some girl dressing skimpy says 'Only God can judge me', and you hear a booming voice in the air that says "YOU'RE A WHORE".

This is hilarious.

[The Princes of the Universe]

Oh yeah. Historical context is so important to take into context with any book in the Bible. That's why it's so easy to misunderstand the OT, you have to understand the historical context in which it was written.

[New Dukaine]

Someone posted an alternative to the melting pot/salad bowl theory

What does he prefer?

I prefer Olive Garden's unlimited pasta bowl.