Posted: Tue Jun 02, 2015 3:22 pm
My partner has a pretty serious anxiety and depression disorder, combined with a history of childhood trauma involving her blatantly abusive mother and her disorganized and unstable father. She's using Citalopram to control her symptoms, and seeing a therapist weekly, but her body is building a resistance and she's needed to increase the dosage once already. I'm supporting her through community college and she's getting financial aid, but getting her to do her homework daily and sometimes even go to class can be a challenge.
Personally, in dealing with this I've had a number of personal issues crop up that I'm not sure how best to deal with, and I might end up venting my spleen here a bit as I usually can't admit to these feelings for fear of adding to the significant burden of negativity my partner already carries. This has left me often resenting her because the fact that I can't talk to her about the ways in which I feel emotionally neglected or overburdened make me feel like I am an inferior in our relationship, that I am less important than her because her problems are more significant and there is no room for me to have problems.
I also end up feeling like I'm the one who needs to push her to do necessary tasks, like even simple things like calling her doctor or brushing her teeth, and the almost nightly struggle over getting her homework done. This creates a troublesome dynamic in our relationship, where I have to act like an authority figure, but my authority is constantly compromised by both my own emotions and by her ability to emotionally manipulate me, usually by expressing that she's stressed or feels guilty when I bring up necessary tasks.
So I guess, any advice on how to be more supportive, how to better cope with the situation, etc?
Personally, in dealing with this I've had a number of personal issues crop up that I'm not sure how best to deal with, and I might end up venting my spleen here a bit as I usually can't admit to these feelings for fear of adding to the significant burden of negativity my partner already carries. This has left me often resenting her because the fact that I can't talk to her about the ways in which I feel emotionally neglected or overburdened make me feel like I am an inferior in our relationship, that I am less important than her because her problems are more significant and there is no room for me to have problems.
I also end up feeling like I'm the one who needs to push her to do necessary tasks, like even simple things like calling her doctor or brushing her teeth, and the almost nightly struggle over getting her homework done. This creates a troublesome dynamic in our relationship, where I have to act like an authority figure, but my authority is constantly compromised by both my own emotions and by her ability to emotionally manipulate me, usually by expressing that she's stressed or feels guilty when I bring up necessary tasks.
So I guess, any advice on how to be more supportive, how to better cope with the situation, etc?