Is divorce selfish? Is it a right?

[Olerand]

Is divorce selfish? Sometimes, it depends on the couple's specific relationship and their reasons for divorce.

Is it a right? Yes.

While it is optimal for a child to be raised in a loving and supportive two parent household, being raised in a two parent household by individuals who don't like each other and have a lot of unbearable differences isn't good. And plenty of divorces don't affect the child negatively, if the divorce is done amicably and a relationship is maintained between the child and both of his parents.

[Ethel mermania]

True. I suppose when I hear "selfish" i consider it more of an insult to the person and it being a way of calling the person "bad". So I suppose yes in that case it would be selfish, but by no means bad, which is how I interpreted the question of this thread.

No, selfishness is by definition, bad. Selfishness is not simply doing something for one's self, it is doing something for one's self without regard for others.

no its not. where the hell do you get that idea from. i selfishly get an ice cream cone for myself and dont buy one for everone else in the store, and that is somehow bad?

[Right-Wing Anarchy of Egoism]

To be quite honest, after reading your views, I would be more concerned about my own kids if I were you.

Yeah? Why's that?

Your deep hatred for freedom and detachment from reality gives your kids bad influence. You can expect them to turn into timid drones driven by belief to fictitious writings. How about you think of your kids before scolding us about whose well-being to think about.

What will you do if you found out your kid's an atheist? Disown them? Maybe punish them a little bit?

Source: http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictiona ... 1408827003
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/selfish
Where's the evil here?

Both of the definitions you just posted agree with what I said...

Nowhere in them was it said that selfishness is evil. Try again.

[The Flood]

No, selfishness is by definition, bad. Selfishness is not simply doing something for one's self, it is doing something for one's self without regard for others.

no its not. where the hell do you get that idea from. i selfishly get an ice cream cone for myself and dont buy one for everone else in the store, and that is somehow bad?

No, that is not selfishness.

[Naretion]

no its not. where the hell do you get that idea from. i selfishly get an ice cream cone for myself and dont buy one for everone else in the store, and that is somehow bad?

No, that is not selfishness.

By definition, it is.

[Ethel mermania]

No, selfishness is by definition, bad. Selfishness is not simply doing something for one's self, it is doing something for one's self without regard for others.

I don't know about that. Ethel made some good sense with what he said. I also just checked some dictionaries to see if any definitions actually refer to selfishness in that negative way and I couldn't find any. Could you perhaps provide a source to a dictionary that defines it in that negative way?

awww shucks

[Giovenith]

on an individual basis your right, but when we look at the large numbers, well most
kids of divorce do OK too, but the odds of a poor outcome increase substantially simply because of divorce

http://www.slate.com/articles/double_x/ ... dren_.html

Of course. The key word was "everyone." Perhaps I should have italicized that.

True. I suppose when I hear "selfish" i consider it more of an insult to the person and it being a way of calling the person "bad". So I suppose yes in that case it would be selfish, but by no means bad, which is how I interpreted the question of this thread.

No, selfishness is by definition, bad. Selfishness is not simply doing something for one's self, it is doing something for one's self without regard for others.

And as has been mentioned, divorce can be beneficial for the people involved, including the kids. Isn't it better for young people to not see two people they love set against one another, and for their home environment to not be a battlefield? Some people just can't get along. It's nice and easy to sit there and say, "Make it work!" like waving a magic wand, but here in the real world, sometimes it just can't. Sometimes when people aren't caught up in the angry bullshit of trying to coexist, they can actually focus on the real, important aspects of raising kids. Parenting has a lot to do with sacrifice, yes, but there's only so much a person can sacrifice before it becomes unhealthy, and unhealthy parents struggle more to raise healthy kids

[Ethel mermania]

no its not. where the hell do you get that idea from. i selfishly get an ice cream cone for myself and dont buy one for everone else in the store, and that is somehow bad?

No, that is not selfishness.

why not? it fits the definitions that were posted.

[The Flood]

Yeah? Why's that?

Your deep hatred for freedom and detachment from reality gives your kids bad influence. You can expect them to turn into timid drones driven by belief to fictitious writings. How about you think of your kids before scolding us about whose well-being to think about.
What will you do if you found out your kid's an atheist? Disown them? Maybe punish them a little bit?

Deep hatred of freedom? Detachement from reality? Don't make me laugh. Neither of those statements describe me.

If my child was an atheist, I'd consider it my fault, I'd be a failure as a parent and would never forgive myself. I would not punish my child for my own failure; however they'd still be expected to follow the moral rules of my household while living in it.

Both of the definitions you just posted agree with what I said...

Nowhere in them was it said that selfishness is evil. Try again.

The evil is implicit. Being solely devoted to oneself without regard for others is evil, that goes without saying. Do you need the definition to include a caption at the end saying "BTW selfishness is evil" for you to believe it is?

[Ethel mermania]

Your deep hatred for freedom and detachment from reality gives your kids bad influence. You can expect them to turn into timid drones driven by belief to fictitious writings. How about you think of your kids before scolding us about whose well-being to think about.
What will you do if you found out your kid's an atheist? Disown them? Maybe punish them a little bit?

Deep hatred of freedom? Detachement from reality? Don't make me laugh. Neither of those statements describe me.

If my child was an atheist, I'd consider it my fault, I'd be a failure as a parent and would never forgive myself. I would not punish my child for my own failure; however they'd still be expected to follow the moral rules of my household while living in it.

Nowhere in them was it said that selfishness is evil. Try again.

The evil is implicit. Being solely devoted to oneself without regard for others is evil, that goes without saying. Do you need the definition to include a caption at the end saying "BTW selfishness is evil" for you to believe it is?

i wouldnt believe it regarless, it would be wrong. you still havent explained how being its by definition evil. evn if i do something for a loved one, i do it for selfish reasons, because it makes ME happy.

[Right-Wing Anarchy of Egoism]

Your deep hatred for freedom and detachment from reality gives your kids bad influence. You can expect them to turn into timid drones driven by belief to fictitious writings. How about you think of your kids before scolding us about whose well-being to think about.
What will you do if you found out your kid's an atheist? Disown them? Maybe punish them a little bit?

Deep hatred of freedom? Detachement from reality? Don't make me laugh. Neither of those statements describe me.

The anti-abortion, anti-euthanasia, anti-hate speech, anti-pornography, anti-promiscuity, anti-secular and anti-atheist views say the opposite. On the anti-secular part on your signature you promote "freedom of religion in all spaces and offices, including public buildings", which is exactly what secularism promotes, unless you actually oppose having religious freedom, which is yet another stone to toss at freedom. On the anti-atheist part you say atheism is a "morally dangerous ideology" even though all it composes of is one sentence, which is as follows: I don't believe in a god. Nowhere in that is morality mentioned even 'implicitly' as you so expertly put it regarding the evil of selfishness.

The anti-secular and anti-atheist parts show how detached from reality you really are.

Nowhere in them was it said that selfishness is evil. Try again.

The evil is implicit. Being solely devoted to oneself without regard for others is evil, that goes without saying. Do you need the definition to include a caption at the end saying "BTW selfishness is evil" for you to believe it is?

Yes and proof that objective morality exists. Then I'm good.

[Ragnarokee]

If the marriage isn't going to work and is a burden.. then divorce is the right option.

[The Orson Empire]

It's really none of your business, dude. You can't tell people how they should live their lives. After all, it is very arrogant and narcissist to assume your way of living is the best and that everyone should follow it.

No, this 'none of your business' attittude people have nowadays is a product of our selfish individualistic culture. You SHOULD be concerned with the well being of others, rather then shrugging it off as 'none of your business'.

Again, I can't go around telling people how to live their lives. If they want a divorce, then by all means they should be able to get one. It is none of my business why they want the divorce.

[United States Kingdom]

Its not selfish if the guy was abusing her. It is selfish if the woman or man marries a rich person and they have children but the man or woman divorce because of the money living the children without a mother or father.

[The Flood]

Deep hatred of freedom? Detachement from reality? Don't make me laugh. Neither of those statements describe me.

The anti-abortion, anti-euthanasia, anti-hate speech, anti-pornography, anti-promiscuity, anti-secular and anti-atheist views say the opposite. On the anti-secular part on your signature you promote "freedom of religion in all spaces and offices, including public buildings", which is exactly what secularism promotes, unless you actually oppose having religious freedom, which is yet another stone to toss at freedom. On the anti-atheist part you say atheism is a "morally dangerous ideology" even though all it composes of is one sentence, which is as follows: I don't believe in a god. Nowhere in that is morality mentioned even 'implicitly' as you so expertly put it regarding the evil of selfishness.
The anti-secular and anti-atheist parts show how detached from reality you really are.

It is not detachment from reality to acknowledge that 99% of atheists do not follow Christian morals. Your assertions are baseless.

[Right-Wing Anarchy of Egoism]

The anti-abortion, anti-euthanasia, anti-hate speech, anti-pornography, anti-promiscuity, anti-secular and anti-atheist views say the opposite. On the anti-secular part on your signature you promote "freedom of religion in all spaces and offices, including public buildings", which is exactly what secularism promotes, unless you actually oppose having religious freedom, which is yet another stone to toss at freedom. On the anti-atheist part you say atheism is a "morally dangerous ideology" even though all it composes of is one sentence, which is as follows: I don't believe in a god. Nowhere in that is morality mentioned even 'implicitly' as you so expertly put it regarding the evil of selfishness.
The anti-secular and anti-atheist parts show how detached from reality you really are.

It is not detachment from reality to acknowledge that 99% of atheists do not follow Christian morals. Your assertions are baseless.

Oh, you meant Christian morals and not morals in general. You see, non-christians have morals too or did you not know that?

[The Flood]

It is not detachment from reality to acknowledge that 99% of atheists do not follow Christian morals. Your assertions are baseless.

Oh, you meant Christian morals and not morals in general. You see, non-christians have morals too or did you not know that?

And the morals atheists follow are incongruent with my beliefs, therefor I believe they are poor morals. Just as you, presumably, think my morals are poor.

[Giovenith]

The anti-abortion, anti-euthanasia, anti-hate speech, anti-pornography, anti-promiscuity, anti-secular and anti-atheist views say the opposite. On the anti-secular part on your signature you promote "freedom of religion in all spaces and offices, including public buildings", which is exactly what secularism promotes, unless you actually oppose having religious freedom, which is yet another stone to toss at freedom. On the anti-atheist part you say atheism is a "morally dangerous ideology" even though all it composes of is one sentence, which is as follows: I don't believe in a god. Nowhere in that is morality mentioned even 'implicitly' as you so expertly put it regarding the evil of selfishness.
The anti-secular and anti-atheist parts show how detached from reality you really are.

It is not detachment from reality to acknowledge that 99% of atheists do not follow Christian morals. Your assertions are baseless.

So 99% of atheists are murderers, liars, and thieves? That sounds rather baseless to me. Then again, those morals aren't exactly unique to Christianity.

[Tahar Joblis]

Is it a right for parents to get divorced and is it selfish?

This is not a complicated question. Simply put, when parents get divorced, children suffer. Be it through feeling that they are the cause, custody battles, weird boyfriend/girlfriends of parents, confusion, getting trapped in the middle of conflicts, etc. Is it selfish of parents to be divorced knowing this is true?

My parents were divorced when I was young, and still today, I get caught up in the conflicts that they have between each other over who has me when. I don't really care so long as I have a roof over my head, however, I'm a lucky one, many kids/teenagers do not have the luck of having two good parents in this case, I think that it is inherently selfish for parents to get divorced, however, it is often the better solution, what about you NSG?

Divorce can be (and, I would say, having looked into the reasons people divorce, often is) selfish; it is also a right.

Only a minority of divorces are caused by infidelity or cruelty, and - more importantly - lots of marriages survive infidelity and abuse, to the point where abuse or infidelity do not really have predictive power in divorce (& we must point to other factors). In many cases, filing behavior seems to be motivated by gaining [more] control over children and/or shared marital property, and also motivated by anticipation of "trading up" to a better spouse. (One common type of materially opportunistic divorce that doesn't quite fit that description but still is about taking advantage is a partner filing for divorce after their spouse has supported them through school.)

It is not inherently selfish to file for divorce. In some cases, both spouses will be better off afterwards.

The only thing we ethically can do to discourage selfish divorce filings is to insure that divorce is as fair as possible - that is to say, limit the ability of people to exploit divorce as a tool for material gain. This is tricky to do.

For example... alimony. Alimony can be cast both a method of remedying exploitation (e.g., person A works shitty jobs in order to put person B through school, person B then graduates and divorces person A, going on to greater fortune and a lovely new job without person A) and also a method of exploitation (marry and divorce someone for fun and profit - a practice that has led to the rise of prenups as a preventative measure). It originated as a method of compensating a woman's male relatives for having to feed and board her after her husband exiled her from his demesnes, of course, which isn't an issue any more.

[Right-Wing Anarchy of Egoism]

Oh, you meant Christian morals and not morals in general. You see, non-christians have morals too or did you not know that?

And the morals atheists follow are incongruent with my beliefs, therefor I believe they are poor morals. Just as you, presumably, think my morals are poor.

Oh, so you acknowledge that atheists have morals, therefore proving my point. You're severely detached from reality.

[The Flood]

And the morals atheists follow are incongruent with my beliefs, therefor I believe they are poor morals. Just as you, presumably, think my morals are poor.

Oh, so you acknowledge that atheists have morals, therefore proving my point. You're severely detached from reality.

I never said they don't have morals, I said they have poor morals.

The only things that don't have morals are things that don't have thoughts. In the case that perhaps it does say 'no morals' in my views page, it's a typo and it is supposed to say 'poor morals'.

[Right-Wing Anarchy of Egoism]

Oh, so you acknowledge that atheists have morals, therefore proving my point. You're severely detached from reality.

I never said they don't have morals, I said they have poor morals.

The only things that don't have morals are things that don't have thoughts. In the case that perhaps it does say 'no morals' in my views page, it's a typo and it is supposed to say 'poor morals'.

Congratulations, you just went from severely detached from reality to just detached from reality.

[Giovenith]

Oh, so you acknowledge that atheists have morals, therefore proving my point. You're severely detached from reality.

I never said they don't have morals, I said they have poor morals.

The only things that don't have morals are things that don't have thoughts. In the case that perhaps it does say 'no morals' in my views page, it's a typo and it is supposed to say 'poor morals'.

And what, pray tell, exactly are these, "poor morals"?

[District XIV]

No, it absolutely isn't selfish. This is coming from someone who had to grow up with a psychopathic biological father who lied to the police and ran off with thousands of dollars of child support unpaid after my mother divorced him for lying about being in the military and a good deal of other things.

[Ethel mermania]

what is it with the definition of selfish as being bad and or irrational.