Ukraine Crisis II: Electric Boogaloo

[Russian Homeboy in LA]

I have good Russian vodka imported from the best of Russian companies. Not the dog urine that Americans call vodka.

[Sibirsky]

I have good Russian vodka imported from the best of Russian companies. Not the dog urine that Americans call vodka.

Counterfeit vodka has not been a problem in the United States in more than eight decades.

[The BaRen]

I have good Russian vodka imported from the best of Russian companies. Not the dog urine that Americans call vodka.

... and yet your name is 'Russian homeboy in LA'...
Get that fucking name outta here.
The fuck you know about LA?
The fuck you know about homeboys?

[Sibirsky]

I have good Russian vodka imported from the best of Russian companies. Not the dog urine that Americans call vodka.

... and yet your name is 'Russian homeboy in LA'...
Get that fucking name outta here.
The fuck you know about LA?
The fuck you know about homeboys?

As much as he knows about good vodka. Russian or otherwise.

[Baltenstein]

It seems that Right Sector leader, Aleksandr Muzychko, has been killed.

I know it is RT, but this appears to be a legit story.

There are conflicting news on that one. One source says that he was kidnapped and killed by unknown men, another that he was shot while resisting an attempted police arrest.

EDIT:

According to Human Rights Watch, the torture and "disappearing" of dissidents has started in Crimea:

http://www.hrw.org/news/2014/03/24/ukra ... e-tortured

"How about a magic trick: I'm gonna make this pencil dissappear...Tadaaah! It's, ah...it's gone."

[Baltenstein]

Budapest Memor--

(Signed) Sergey V. LAVROV Permanent Representative of the Russian Federation to the United Nations (emphasis in original)

Oh...Well...Isn't it a sad day to see a well-known Russian diplomat beginning to succumb to the terrible scourge of aging and memory loss?

Maybe he should retire from international diplomacy and open a private weapons store. After all, he knows where common Crimean citizens can buy gunships and APCs, so he clearly an expert on that topic.

[Russian Homeboy in LA]

I have good Russian vodka imported from the best of Russian companies. Not the dog urine that Americans call vodka.

... and yet your name is 'Russian homeboy in LA'...
Get that fucking name outta here.
The fuck you know about LA?
The fuck you know about homeboys?

one day LA will be Russian territory and all LA people will speak Russian. Even the homeboys.

[Palmyrene Empire]

... and yet your name is 'Russian homeboy in LA'...
Get that fucking name outta here.
The fuck you know about LA?
The fuck you know about homeboys?

one day LA will be Russian territory and all LA people will speak Russian. Even the homeboys.

Does this mean ill get to see a russian version of Bel Air?

[Lyttenburgh]

So NSers, what do you think Ukraine should do now based on the current situation?

Ukraine, as "the new government"? Well for starters they should:

1) Try to incorporate all political forces in the new government - yes, including from the East and pro-Russian ones, if they really want united country.

2) Try to rebuild working relationships with Russia, i.e.

- Cut all ties with "Svoboda" and "Right Sector" and dissolve all "militia" units, confiscate weapons from them.
- Stop Russophobic propaganda.
- For their own sake - abandon delusions of severing economic ties with Russia, if they don't wont to go bankrupt this year.
- Return the law that criminalizes "Nazi-propaganda" (yeah, one of the actions of the new government was it's decriminalization.)

3) Do not sign economic part of the "Trade Association Treaty" with EU. Even Yatsenyuk nowadays admits, that this would spell doom for the Ukrainian economy (but that also rises an ugly question about "victory" of Euromaidan and it's "goals").

4) Cut their loses and let Crimea go.

5) "Finlandisation" of the Ukraine, guaranteed by the wide number of foreign states, to ensure future territorial integrity of the Ukraine.

6) [Optional] Start persecute oligarchs "early Putin-style". That's the only way to ensure their own future and to gain (no, not "to return") control over regions.

So NSers, what do you think Ukraine should do now based on the current situation?

Begin organizing for guerilla warfare. There are enough forests and marshes in the Ukraine to make prolonged partisan resistance feasible. Better still, protracted asymmetrical resistance will force Russia into extensive human rights violations, which will guarantee that relations between Russia and the West will continue to worsen.

In support of this, begin raising money for Ukrainian resistance in America and Canada. The descendants of Ukrainian immigrants represent a significant percentage of the population in the Canadian prairie provinces as well as the American Great Lakes and Upper Midwest. If the Cuban-American lobby can make the idea of America abandoning sanctions against Cuba untenable, Ukrainian immigrants in North American can ensure that the U.S. and Canada find it difficult to seek a rapprochement with Russia so long as the Ukraine remains a Russian subject state.

You are hopeless Cold War relict, do you? Ukraine HAS NO MONEY! It's military is a joke! But instead of trying to rebuild it's economy to pay off debts (just for the 2014-15 ut needs $ 35 billions) you want to further bankrupt that poor country by hysterically crying "Wolf" shouting "Russians are coming!" on the top of your lungs? You really want Ukrainians to die for your and other Westerners delusion? And what if they don't want to become "partisans", but just live their own life, go to work and take care of their families? What makes you sure that Ukrainian people nowadays will put up any serious resistance in the improbable case of "Russian occupation" and not just behave like Danes in WW2?

You think an armed conflict between Russia and Ukraine is inevitable?

I think the occupation of Kiev by Russian forces and the forcible establishment of a Russian puppet government there is inevitable.

Ok, ok - "challenge accepted!" (c). And what if your "prophecy" won't come to life? Would you in that case put in your signature "I'm a paranoid Cold War relict proved wrong"?

[Lyttenburgh]

Attention to all concerned:

We are back. Our long term goal, as a people, is the return of all former Russian lands to the Soviet Union which we shall eventually be reviving. This includes not just Crimea and Transdniestra but also Hawaii, Alaska, British Columbia, Washington, Oregon, and California.

Further if our demands for constitutional reforms in Ukraine are not met, you should know that the Russian government is prepared to take certain actions which NATO and the US are totally powerless to prevent.


We suggest the British government not get any ideas of military involvement considering that our backfire bombers have been able to penetrate all the way through British air space while not a single british air craft has been able to enter Russian air space. It would after all, be ufortunate for them if the UK were to lose control of the North Sea oil fields.

Do not forget we have people in UK, US, and Canada that can make trouble should things escalate.

The EU and America should not forget that Russia has operational military bases in both Syria and Venezuela.

For three decades you have foolishly lived under the false assumption that Russian people were defeated impoverished nation. What you have seen in Crimea, Syria, and Georgia should shock back to the reality which is that Russia is still and always was a power to reckon with.

You need to realise that the reason your countries are limiting their response to whining and slap on the wrist sanctions is that both Europe and the US cannot stop the Russian armed forces steam rolling across Europe or America any time we choose to do so. This is has been greatly helped by your foolish military actions in Iraq, Afghanistan, Libya and other parts of Africa where your strength was sapped by bogged down military operations that also wiped out your economies which are now so dependent on mother Russia that serious sanctions on Russia would destroy the economies of all Europe.

As the Americans say, you have check mated.

Ermm... are you even a Russian to claim what "our" goals are? Also, while counting all Russia's claims, why did you forget to mention Madagaskar? How can you call yourself a patriot of Russia without mentioning Madagaskar!

Увага! Russian Homeboy in LA - Провокатор!

[Baltenstein]

Ukraine, as "the new government"? Well for starters they should:

1) Try to incorporate all political forces in the new government - yes, including from the East and pro-Russian ones, if they really want united country.

2) Try to rebuild working relationships with Russia, i.e.

- Cut all ties with "Svoboda" and "Right Sector" and dissolve all "militia" units, confiscate weapons from them.
- Stop Russophobic propaganda.
- For their own sake - abandon delusions of severing economic ties with Russia, if they don't wont to go bankrupt this year.
- Return the law that criminalizes "Nazi-propaganda" (yeah, one of the actions of the new government was it's decriminalization.)

3) Do not sign economic part of the "Trade Association Treaty" with EU. Even Yatsenyuk nowadays admits, that this would spell doom for the Ukrainian economy (but that also rises an ugly question about "victory" of Euromaidan and it's "goals").

4) Cut their loses and let Crimea go.

5) "Finlandisation" of the Ukraine, guaranteed by the wide number of foreign states, to ensure future territorial integrity of the Ukraine.

6) [Optional] Start persecute oligarchs "early Putin-style". That's the only way to ensure their own future and to gain (no, not "to return") control over regions.

Don Vladimir, those are indeed offers Ukraine can't refuse.

[Palmyrene Empire]

So NSers, what do you think Ukraine should do now based on the current situation?

Ukraine, as "the new government"? Well for starters they should:

1) Try to incorporate all political forces in the new government - yes, including from the East and pro-Russian ones, if they really want united country.

2) Try to rebuild working relationships with Russia, i.e.

- Cut all ties with "Svoboda" and "Right Sector" and dissolve all "militia" units, confiscate weapons from them.
- Stop Russophobic propaganda.
- For their own sake - abandon delusions of severing economic ties with Russia, if they don't wont to go bankrupt this year.
- Return the law that criminalizes "Nazi-propaganda" (yeah, one of the actions of the new government was it's decriminalization.)

3) Do not sign economic part of the "Trade Association Treaty" with EU. Even Yatsenyuk nowadays admits, that this would spell doom for the Ukrainian economy (but that also rises an ugly question about "victory" of Euromaidan and it's "goals").

4) Cut their loses and let Crimea go.

5) "Finlandisation" of the Ukraine, guaranteed by the wide number of foreign states, to ensure future territorial integrity of the Ukraine.

6) [Optional] Start persecute oligarchs "early Putin-style". That's the only way to ensure their own future and to gain (no, not "to return") control over regions.

Begin organizing for guerilla warfare. There are enough forests and marshes in the Ukraine to make prolonged partisan resistance feasible. Better still, protracted asymmetrical resistance will force Russia into extensive human rights violations, which will guarantee that relations between Russia and the West will continue to worsen.

In support of this, begin raising money for Ukrainian resistance in America and Canada. The descendants of Ukrainian immigrants represent a significant percentage of the population in the Canadian prairie provinces as well as the American Great Lakes and Upper Midwest. If the Cuban-American lobby can make the idea of America abandoning sanctions against Cuba untenable, Ukrainian immigrants in North American can ensure that the U.S. and Canada find it difficult to seek a rapprochement with Russia so long as the Ukraine remains a Russian subject state.

You are hopeless Cold War relict, do you? Ukraine HAS NO MONEY! It's military is a joke! But instead of trying to rebuild it's economy to pay off debts (just for the 2014-15 ut needs $ 35 billions) you want to further bankrupt that poor country by hysterically crying "Wolf" shouting "Russians are coming!" on the top of your lungs? You really want Ukrainians to die for your and other Westerners delusion? And what if they don't want to become "partisans", but just live their own life, go to work and take care of their families? What makes you sure that Ukrainian people nowadays will put up any serious resistance in the improbable case of "Russian occupation" and not just behave like Danes in WW2?

I think the occupation of Kiev by Russian forces and the forcible establishment of a Russian puppet government there is inevitable.

Ok, ok - "challenge accepted!" (c). And what if your "prophecy" won't come to life? Would you in that case put in your signature "I'm a paranoid Cold War relict proved wrong"?

Say what you will Russian man, Crimea will never be Russian.

[Sdaeriji]

Ukraine, as "the new government"? Well for starters they should:

1) Try to incorporate all political forces in the new government - yes, including from the East and pro-Russian ones, if they really want united country.

2) Try to rebuild working relationships with Russia, i.e.

- Cut all ties with "Svoboda" and "Right Sector" and dissolve all "militia" units, confiscate weapons from them.

Tee hee

[European Socialist Republic]

Ukraine, as "the new government"? Well for starters they should:

1) Try to incorporate all political forces in the new government - yes, including from the East and pro-Russian ones, if they really want united country.

2) Try to rebuild working relationships with Russia, i.e.

- Cut all ties with "Svoboda" and "Right Sector"

Aren't those two points contradictory?

[Baltenstein]

Ukraine, as "the new government"? Well for starters they should:

1) Try to incorporate all political forces in the new government - yes, including from the East and pro-Russian ones, if they really want united country.

2) Try to rebuild working relationships with Russia, i.e.

- Cut all ties with "Svoboda" and "Right Sector"

Aren't those two points contradictory?

Not if you understand "all political forces" as "all political forces sympathetic to Russia".

Which is how the Ukrainians should understand it, if they know what is good for them.
*strokesPersian*

[European Socialist Republic]

Aren't those two points contradictory?

Not if you understand "all political forces" as "all political forces sympathetic to Russia".

Which is how the Ukrainians should understand it, if they know what is good for them.
*strokesPersian*

Ah, of course! How silly of me.

[Soviet Russia Republic]

Say what you will Russian man, Crimea will never be Russian.

Say what you will, but it already is.

[Palmyrene Empire]

Say what you will Russian man, Crimea will never be Russian.

Say what you will, but it already is.

It is not. It will never be russian. They may have it physically. but in spirit it will not be russian.

[Soviet Russia Republic]

Say what you will, but it already is.

It is not. It will never be russian. They may have it physically. but in spirit it will not be russian.

Oh brother.

[Palmyrene Empire]

It is not. It will never be russian. They may have it physically. but in spirit it will not be russian.

Oh brother.

You got a problem with what i said? Then say it.

[Soviet Russia Republic]

Oh brother.

You got a problem with what i said? Then say it.

Not much to say about that meaningless declaration lol.

[Palmyrene Empire]

You got a problem with what i said? Then say it.

Not much to say about that meaningless declaration lol.

Ah. i can say whatever i want. Got a problem with it? If so, kindly fuck off.
Noticed in your sig youre pro russian. you in favor of this invasion and illegal annexation?

[Baltenstein]

5) "Finlandisation" of the Ukraine, guaranteed by the wide number of foreign states, to ensure future territorial integrity of the Ukraine.

Finlandization, by the way, was coined as an explicitly negative term, which describes a small nation bowing down to a bigger nation's demands against its will and under threat of violence.

That you think this is the way Ukraine should go makes the Mafia analogy quite fitting.

"Those are some nice borders you have there, Ukraine. It would be a shame if something happened to them..."

[Lyttenburgh]

Ukraine, as "the new government"? Well for starters they should:

1) Try to incorporate all political forces in the new government - yes, including from the East and pro-Russian ones, if they really want united country.

2) Try to rebuild working relationships with Russia, i.e.

- Cut all ties with "Svoboda" and "Right Sector"

Aren't those two points contradictory?

Nope - see "return the criminalization of Nazi propaganda", after which the question of Svoboda and "Pravy Sector" would be solved.

[Lyttenburgh]

Not much to say about that meaningless declaration lol.

Ah. i can say whatever i want. Got a problem with it? If so, kindly fuck off.
Noticed in your sig youre pro russian. you in favor of this invasion and illegal annexation?

In 1340 English king Eduard III proclaimed himself the King of France... Even after losing in Hundred Years War, English monarchs still added to the varitable panopticum of their titles "the King/Queen of France", despite the fact that English holdings on the Continent at that time only consisted only of Calais. Even after the it's capture in 1558 rulers of Britain, no matter what dynasty, stubbornly continued to call themselves "Kings of France" till 1800 totally ignoring the reality.

Akso, I advise you to tone down your juvenil standoffishness.