Does the friend-zone exist?

[Tundra Ice Cream]

Yes it does:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a9XDb0nxSO4

[Kvatchdom]

Friendzone is the mating call of neckbeards.

[Arglorand]

That's also literally what friendship is, so ascribing a particular term for some sort of "zone" like that is just silly.

But I would think, that it's the instance where one of the people involved in the friendship does seeks a relationship?

Then it's just an unrequited feeling. There's no need to invent slang terms that are more often than not used for complaints about how "i can never get laid because im too friendly 2 girls halp", as people tend to do.

[Necrocity]

yes it does because people don't want to ruin friendships if a relationship goes wrong

[Duvniask]

But I would think, that it's the instance where one of the people involved in the friendship does seeks a relationship?

Then it's just an unrequited feeling. There's no need to invent slang terms that are more often than not used for complaints about how "i can never get laid because im too friendly 2 girls halp", as people tend to do.

I know it's often used for that, but what is inherently wrong with applying a term to it?

Is it the fault of the word?

[Arglorand]

Then it's just an unrequited feeling. There's no need to invent slang terms that are more often than not used for complaints about how "i can never get laid because im too friendly 2 girls halp", as people tend to do.

I know it's often used for that, but what is inherently wrong with applying a term to it?

Nothing, I guess? Still, people usually think of it as some zone that can be averted by playing the development of your relationship right, when really, when you really think about it, the person just doesn't feel romantically or sexually attracted to you and you can't avoid that zone and you shouldn't. That's what irritates me about this particular term.

[The Tundra]

Getting rejected=/= being put in the friendzone

agreed, being put in the friend zone in the first place is a pre-ejection. you have o work to get out of there.

or even in a state were nobody has explicitly stated feelings.

[Keuschehchupha]

I honestly think it exists, in some sort of cosmic way. It exists in the way that when you're everything the girl wants yet she wants someone else.

[Kvatchdom]

I honestly think it exists, in some sort of cosmic way. It exists in the way that when you're everything the girl wants yet she wants someone else.

If she wants something else, she doesn't want you. Simple, imo.

[New Octopucta]

For the most part being in the friendzone comes down to failures to communicate. Whether it's someone failing to communicate their affection, or misunderstanding the nature of their relationship. There is a word for romantic advances being rejected, and there's a word for one person's affection for another being abused. Neither one is the word "friendzone."

[Duvniask]

I know it's often used for that, but what is inherently wrong with applying a term to it?

Nothing, I guess? Still, people usually think of it as some zone that can be averted by playing the development of your relationship right, when really, when you really think about it, the person just doesn't feel romantically or sexually attracted to you and you can't avoid that zone and you shouldn't. That's what irritates me about this particular term.

I think people would complain about it, regardless of whether we say "friend-zone" or not. It's probably just douches being douches.

[DesAnges]

I used to despise the friendzone. Then I grew up a bit and realised that it is called being friends with someone. The more friends - especially those of the gender you wish to make sweet, sweet glove to - you have, the better the interpersonal skills you are, and so the more likely you will be able to actually have sex. And nasty, depraved sex it will likely be too.

[Slaver Elite]

Yes it does:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a9XDb0nxSO4

So its because of cognitive dissonance?

[DesAnges]

I honestly think it exists, in some sort of cosmic way. It exists in the way that when you're everything the girl wants yet she wants someone else.

If you're everything a girl wants, then she'll want you, by that logic.

[Forster Keys]

Oh no! Someone wants to be your friend, how horrible!

[Ivory Record]

I honestly think it exists, in some sort of cosmic way. It exists in the way that when you're everything the girl wants yet she wants someone else.

If you're everything a girl wants, then she'll want you, by that logic.

The problem, of course, is the neckbeard/butterface in the friendzone always assumes they are everything to all people, and that's why they can't accept that they aren't.

[Slaver Elite]

I honestly think it exists, in some sort of cosmic way. It exists in the way that when you're everything the girl wants yet she wants someone else.

If you're everything a girl wants, then she'll want you, by that logic.

More like you are everything she claims to want but she is turned off by those very same features.

[Quintium]

I honestly think it exists, in some sort of cosmic way. It exists in the way that when you're everything the girl wants yet she wants someone else.

What a woman thinks she wants is different from what she'll go for when put in a practical situation. Even if you can check every checkbox on her list, it's not at all certain she'll feel the least bit of attraction to you. That's because what really attracts people to each other isn't an arbitrary list of traits. It usually comes down social status and dominance in men, and physical attractiveness in women. There was a fun study into that. I'm a bit too busy to re-read it, but it appeared in PNAS a few years ago. Both men and women were asked to describe their ideal partner. They went for things like 'funny', 'nice', 'well-behaved' - those things. And then the same men and women were put together and their reactions were observed. It was observed that women, despite their long lists, found social status the single most important thing in the men they met. Men, despite their own long lists, found physical attractiveness the single most important thing about the women they met.

[Slaver Elite]

Oh no! Someone wants to be your friend, how horrible!

Oh no! Someone would like to have a relationship that moves beyond friendship, how dare they!

[Forster Keys]

Friendzone is the mating call of neckbeards.

And a pretty shit mating call at that.

[DesAnges]

If you're everything a girl wants, then she'll want you, by that logic.

More like you are everything she claims to want but she is turned off by those very same features.

Then you aren't what she wants, and therefore doesn't want you. You then go "Dammit. Ah well" and move on.

If you're everything a girl wants, then she'll want you, by that logic.

The problem, of course, is the neckbeard/butterface in the friendzone always assumes they are everything to all people, and that's why they can't accept that they aren't.

Confidence is sexy. Introverted arrogance isn't.

[Slaver Elite]

I honestly think it exists, in some sort of cosmic way. It exists in the way that when you're everything the girl wants yet she wants someone else.

What a woman thinks she wants is different from what she'll go for when put in a practical situation. Even if you can check every checkbox on her list, it's not at all certain she'll feel the least bit of attraction to you. That's because what really attracts people to each other isn't an arbitrary list of traits. It usually comes down social status and dominance in men, and physical attractiveness in women. There was a fun study into that. I'm a bit too busy to re-read it, but it appeared in PNAS a few years ago. Both men and women were asked to describe their ideal partner. They went for things like 'funny', 'nice', 'well-behaved' - those things. And then the same men and women were put together and their reactions were observed. It was observed that women, despite their long lists, found social status the single most important thing in the men they met. Men, despite their own long lists, found physical attractiveness the single most important thing about the women they met.

That makes a disturbing amount of sense.

[Kvatchdom]

Friendzone is the mating call of neckbeards.

And a pretty shit mating call at that.

I know right.

[Quintium]

Friendzone is the mating call of neckbeards.

And a pretty shit mating call at that.

Correct. They're not involved in a lot of 'multiplayer debauchery'.

[Slaver Elite]

More like you are everything she claims to want but she is turned off by those very same features.

Then you aren't what she wants, and therefore doesn't want you. You then go "Dammit. Ah well" and move on.

The problem, of course, is the neckbeard/butterface in the friendzone always assumes they are everything to all people, and that's why they can't accept that they aren't.

Confidence is sexy. Introverted arrogance isn't.

And yet some people have gotten out of the friend zone. Maybe stop encouraging people to be quitters?