Castration party tonight, everyone!
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by Nationstatelandsville » Mon Jun 15, 2015 12:39 pm
by Ontorisa » Mon Jun 15, 2015 12:39 pm
by Eisarn-Ara » Mon Jun 15, 2015 12:42 pm
by Renoa » Mon Jun 15, 2015 12:47 pm
by Jute » Mon Jun 15, 2015 12:50 pm
Carl Sagan, astrophysicist and atheist wrote:"Science is not only compatible with spirituality; it is a profound source of spirituality.
When we recognize our place in an immensity of light-years and in the passage of ages,
when we grasp the intricacy, beauty, and subtlety of life, then that soaring feeling,
that sense of elation and humility combined, is surely spiritual...
The notion that science and spirituality are somehow mutually exclusive does a disservice to both."
Italios wrote:Jute's probably some sort of Robin Hood-type outlaw
"Boys and girls so happy, young and gay / Don't let false worldly joy carry your hearts away."
by Bezombia » Mon Jun 15, 2015 12:52 pm
Jute wrote:Renoa wrote:
It's always easy to figure out who the Byzantines have just been at war with due to the wave of men returning home carrying one less organ than they left with.
What about the customization dlc? That's one that seemed interesting, or is modding so easy to learn it's not worth it?
And then there's the EU IV converter as well.
Sauritican wrote:We've all been spending too much time with Ben
Verdum wrote:Hey girl, is your name Karl Marx? Because your starting an uprising in my lower classes.
Black Hand wrote:New plan is to just make thousands of disposable firearms and dump them out of cargo planes with tiny drag chutes attached.
Spreewerke wrote:The metric system is the only measurement system that truly meters.
Fordorsia wrote:mfw Beano is my dad http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FSWiMoO8zNE
Spreewerke wrote:Salt the women, rape the earth.
Equestican wrote:Ben is love, Ben is life.
Sediczja wrote:real eyes realize real lies
by Ril Island » Mon Jun 15, 2015 12:55 pm
by Jute » Mon Jun 15, 2015 12:59 pm
Alright, so no hope of getting them to EU IV at the moment?
Carl Sagan, astrophysicist and atheist wrote:"Science is not only compatible with spirituality; it is a profound source of spirituality.
When we recognize our place in an immensity of light-years and in the passage of ages,
when we grasp the intricacy, beauty, and subtlety of life, then that soaring feeling,
that sense of elation and humility combined, is surely spiritual...
The notion that science and spirituality are somehow mutually exclusive does a disservice to both."
Italios wrote:Jute's probably some sort of Robin Hood-type outlaw
"Boys and girls so happy, young and gay / Don't let false worldly joy carry your hearts away."
by Washington Resistance Army » Mon Jun 15, 2015 1:02 pm
Jute wrote:Alright, so no hope of getting them to EU IV at the moment?
by Ril Island » Mon Jun 15, 2015 1:03 pm
by Jute » Mon Jun 15, 2015 1:06 pm
Editing? How would I do that?
Carl Sagan, astrophysicist and atheist wrote:"Science is not only compatible with spirituality; it is a profound source of spirituality.
When we recognize our place in an immensity of light-years and in the passage of ages,
when we grasp the intricacy, beauty, and subtlety of life, then that soaring feeling,
that sense of elation and humility combined, is surely spiritual...
The notion that science and spirituality are somehow mutually exclusive does a disservice to both."
Italios wrote:Jute's probably some sort of Robin Hood-type outlaw
"Boys and girls so happy, young and gay / Don't let false worldly joy carry your hearts away."
by The Grey Wolf » Mon Jun 15, 2015 1:07 pm
by Washington Resistance Army » Mon Jun 15, 2015 1:09 pm
by Ril Island » Mon Jun 15, 2015 1:09 pm
by Jute » Mon Jun 15, 2015 1:12 pm
Carl Sagan, astrophysicist and atheist wrote:"Science is not only compatible with spirituality; it is a profound source of spirituality.
When we recognize our place in an immensity of light-years and in the passage of ages,
when we grasp the intricacy, beauty, and subtlety of life, then that soaring feeling,
that sense of elation and humility combined, is surely spiritual...
The notion that science and spirituality are somehow mutually exclusive does a disservice to both."
Italios wrote:Jute's probably some sort of Robin Hood-type outlaw
"Boys and girls so happy, young and gay / Don't let false worldly joy carry your hearts away."
by Ril Island » Mon Jun 15, 2015 1:24 pm
Jute wrote:Ril Island wrote:
It's a joke.
But admit it, AI should be programmed to also try to make nice borders, if that's possible to do.
Eh, that just will make people forget it's also an actual disease. But that's off-topic. Yes, obviously a game (or an addition to it) that you bought should be expected to function correctly.
by The Huskar Social Union » Mon Jun 15, 2015 1:31 pm
by Reatra » Mon Jun 15, 2015 1:32 pm
Ril Island wrote:Jute wrote:Eh, that just will make people forget it's also an actual disease. But that's off-topic. Yes, obviously a game (or an addition to it) that you bought should be expected to function correctly.
Yup, i find it impossible to do a full 900 year game not because of me being overpowered as i always start with very weak nations, but because of the borders. I can't look at them and think "oh this looks like it could be real".
by The Jonathanian States » Mon Jun 15, 2015 2:16 pm
by Transoxthraxia » Mon Jun 15, 2015 5:49 pm
The Jonathanian States wrote:Renoa wrote:
It's always easy to figure out who the Byzantines have just been at war with due to the wave of men returning home carrying one less organ than they left with.
That seems really cruel, Renoa. I'd give them the organ courtesy of Byzantium Surgeries Inc, as a souvenir of the city of the world's desire.
The Nuclear Fist wrote:Transoxthraxia confirmed for shit taste
by Nationstatelandsville » Mon Jun 15, 2015 9:40 pm
Nationstatelandsville wrote:Nationstatelandsville wrote:The year is 1583. I think it's safe to say that I have fucked history forever out of shape.
For the record, I'm still operating here on 1.11.4 maps and mechanics, because this game otherwise could not continue.
Over these past 17 years, Italy has on its homefront taken great steps to improve its infrastructure and technology, and has begun work on Religious Ideas (for reasons that will become clear). It has annexed Bosnia and begun to convert the Croats of Lika and Dalmatia to proper Lombard culture, so as to proliferate the true heirs of Rome across the Balkans and solidify my base there in case of Ottoman attack. I have also begun to construct fancy Level 3 forts across the Balkans and Sicily, so as to better protect from any incursions by the Turks.
My friends in Venice were not so lucky. After being distracted for the past ten years by religious conflict between Protestants and Catholics, Venice had fallen far from their once-mighty trade empire. For the majority of the past century, they have controlled only Venetia and Crete, but from there were able to dominate the Venetian trade node. With their internal conflicts, this all changed. Weak and unable to defend itself, Venice developed a co-dependent relationship with its ally in Aragon. Since the Castillian conquests ending in the foundation of Spain, Aragon has been much like Venice; a shattered nation made up of scattered islands, a single province in their old homeland, and a large navy. Said last province, that being Valencia I do believe, was taken by Castile shortly before founding Spain, and not long after Aragon was absorbed by France. (Yes, France has Malta, and yes, I am terrified.) Suddenly, Venice's only support was gone.
And then the Ottoman Empire invaded.
And now the Turks control Venetia. King Carlo Emmanuelle V has sworn his life to rescuing our brother Lombards from Muslim oppression, but the Ottomans are a mighty force and not one I can as yet defeat.
Meanwhile, Austria took its downfall quite poorly and attacked Styria. The War of Austrian Reconquest was relatively short, a conflict between Austria, myself, and Trier against Styria and Savoy. By the end, Austria had reclaimed much of its territory. (I also annexed Bosnia during this time.) Things were looking up for my friend and I. But it was nothing more than a sick joke.
After a decade of lazing about and preparing, I finally launched in 1579 the second phase of my scheme to conquer Constantinope; taking control of northern Africa. To that end, I attacked Tunis for Bizerte, and they called in their lovely friends -- the Ottomans! Luckily, the Ottomans were distracted by a prior conflict with my ally the Mamluks, and when I was able to corner some of their fleets and destroy them, agreed to white peace. (On the other hand, the Mamluks are fucked.)
I arrived to find Tunis already largely besieged by Morocco. See, it seems the Ottomans were trying to conquer some shitty Arabian nation, and said nation had called in every goddamn Muslim in the world against them and Tunis. I quickly besieged the only three provinces in Tunis not already taken by Morocco, and then Tunis itself, and shortly thereafter took those three provinces. My African empire is beginning, helped along by my forcing Tunis to break its treaty with the Ottomans. (Hopefully, I can find some way to keep them from reuniting.)
While this happened, Austria made the cataclysmic mistake of being next to Bohemia, which is a violent asshole. When Bohemia's ally Brandenburg attacked Austria's ally the Teutonic Order, Austria got dragged into the war and was quickly consumed by a wave of Bohemian gold. Shortly after Vienna fell the Austrian Emperor died, and a new Holy Roman Emperor was elected -- a Hohenzollern from Brandenburg.
Yes, folks, the goddamn Prussians have arrived and, in true Prussian style, immediately destroyed Austria.
Austria, weak from its war with Bohemia, was assaulted by Switzerland in a Reformed Holy War. And it ended quite poorly for the Catholics. (I mean, all of that territory was Protestant anyways, so either way, someone is getting fucked right in the Jesus.)
Suddenly the Catholics were not looking so hot in Germany, and I decided it was probably best to make pals with Brandenburg. I'm afraid the greater good demands a sacrifice, and if this what it takes to stop the icy menace that is France, then I will burn my dau- side with the Prussians. Yes.
To that end, welcome to Protestantism. On the date of Christ's birth, Italy was reborn, free of the influence of the Pope bastard. Of course, my nation consists largely of Papists still, as well as some Orthodox and Muslims, but with Religious Ideas, my new religious frenzy, my position as Defender of the Protestant Faith, and the bonuses I receive for controlling Rome as a Protestant, I imagine I will make short work of unifying Italy religiously.
On the other hand, right now, I have one Protestant province and disasters are impending, along with my 40% overextension from my African gains.
In other words, things are going to very quickly get interesting.
The year is 1593. Over the past decade, things in Italy have progressed well.
Protestantism spread like wildfire across the country, even to Rome itself. With three missionaries converting a province in 7 months, I quickly eliminated all the Catholic and Orthodox. Yes, in the lands of Italy, neither of the old churches can spread their odious bile to the hearts of the young. Still, the Reformed resist all reason in Lombardia and the proud Muslim still stands strong in Africa, but the Lord's revelation has taken nearly 6000 years to show itself at all, let alone to everyone.
Of course, the Catholics took this all poorly. They quickly took control of Cremona but were shortly thereafter defeated in Parma (one of the first Protestant territories) and their siege lifted, physically and spiritually. Twice more has this event appeared in regards to the Lombardian Reformed zealots, but I've taken the monetary loss both times since. Meanwhile, two separate independence revolts - one in Zeta for Montenegro and another in Hum for Bosnia - arose in this past decade to be swiftly destroyed.
Elsewhere, Russia desperately attempted to discharge Semen and ejaculate him from power. In fact, that whole damn nation has gone insane, since I have a 5% bigger army and 97% bigger navy, and I'm fucking Italy. Also, they wanted to fight me over Georgia, a nation I wasn't even aware still existed. Needless to say, I didn't bother.
I was forced to yield both my position as Defender of the Faith and my alliance with Brandenburg after being called into many wars at once, and once more losing to this ungodly strong France. I'm not much bothered, as I can reclaim both those things when the time is appropriate. Luckily for me, France dropped me as a rival in favor of the Ottomans, which quells my fear that the two would align. Once I've reclaimed Constantinople, I think I will devote what little time I will have left in the endgame to fucking France and fucking it hard.
Come 1591, I assaulted the Tunisians again, before they could forge an alliance with the Ottomans. Towards the end of the war, they managed to do so, but never got the chance to call them in. I then forced them to break that alliance anyways. As such, the war was between the Mamluks and myself against Tunis and Touggort, which went predictably.
Italy is now the dominant power in the Tunisian trade node and controls most of its coast. Also, here's a map of Europe's religions, for those curious. You can't see it, but Scotland and Ireland are also Reformed. I'm damned proud of that little Ibadi fucker just north of Constantinople, hanging on there because fuck the Turks.
I imagine things will be relatively simple for Italy going forth.
by The Rich Port » Tue Jun 16, 2015 1:24 am
by Bralia » Tue Jun 16, 2015 1:56 am
Nationstatelandsville wrote:Things went rather poorly for my allies. The Timurids were eaten alive and subsequently digested.
by The Huskar Social Union » Tue Jun 16, 2015 2:01 am
by Reddogkeno101 » Tue Jun 16, 2015 2:17 am
The Huskar Social Union wrote:For completely unrelated reasons to events in the show i am in the mood to play as Stannis again in the got mod, and slaughter a certain northern house.
And a certain woman in red.
Think i might do exactly that.
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