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PostPosted: Tue May 26, 2015 10:00 am
by Sanctaria
Trotterdam wrote:
#432 Children in the Lead?
This would have been more amusing if it was an issue about children holding office, following on them being allowed to vote in #182.

Trotterdam, would you be interested in authoring such an issue? Maybe not following up on them being allowed to vote, but simply children holding office. I can work with a basic issue like that and use it as part of my greater plan.

PostPosted: Tue May 26, 2015 10:12 am
by Trotterdam
Sanctaria wrote:Trotterdam, would you be interested in authoring such an issue? Maybe not following up on them being allowed to vote, but simply children holding office. I can work with a basic issue like that and use it as part of my greater plan.
Err, maybe? But I already have quite a lot of half-finished issue drafts that I can never seem to finish, and I'm not feeling super-inspired about this one beyond the basic idea. I'm no good at writing characters in a way that their intended personality shines through from a few sentences, so I'm pretty sure I couldn't write child politicians to be appropiately amusing.

What would the options be? The obvious ones are "allow children to hold office", "don't allow children to hold office", and "allow ONLY children to hold office" (it would establish some neat term limits, at least).

PostPosted: Tue May 26, 2015 11:27 am
by Sanctaria
Trotterdam wrote:
Sanctaria wrote:Trotterdam, would you be interested in authoring such an issue? Maybe not following up on them being allowed to vote, but simply children holding office. I can work with a basic issue like that and use it as part of my greater plan.
Err, maybe? But I already have quite a lot of half-finished issue drafts that I can never seem to finish, and I'm not feeling super-inspired about this one beyond the basic idea. I'm no good at writing characters in a way that their intended personality shines through from a few sentences, so I'm pretty sure I couldn't write child politicians to be appropiately amusing.

That's fair enough. I was thinking a chain issue following on from option 1 (or 3?) of Children in the Lead where the Leader's children are more popular than Leader himself and people are clamouring for the childrens' appointment to ministerial/mayoral offices through the nation.

I can work on it myself, I just wanted to give you the opportunity to have first shot at writing that issue.

PostPosted: Thu May 28, 2015 8:29 am
by Eaischpnaeieacgkque Bhcieaghpodsttditf
Issue 433

The Worst Storm To Hit @@NAME@@ Since...Yesterday?

The Issue

After the eighth terrible super-storm to ravage Eaischpnaeieacgkque Bhcieaghpodsttditf this week, residents of the affected areas, your own advisers, and random people seeking shelter from the elements have gathered in Soriranashi-Sonikan to see whether anything can be done.

The Debate

"I'm tired of these storms, Saymuellyn Charles Champlaeignei," sighs Marlon Utopia, who looks as though he's just been dragged through a tornado. "The winds of this last storm were over 300 kph! My house was blown away! Something must be done to prevent buildings from being destroyed. Maybe if the government made it mandatory for all buildings to pass a disaster safety test, it would solve all our problems." He plucks a bird's nest from his hair before continuing. "I'd be prepared to pay a little more in tax if I still had a roof to sleep under!"

Accept

"Did you see how many times my supposedly lightning-proofed house was struck by lightning this morning?" cries violently twitching government advisor Hope de Castro, still smoking and smelling of static. "But when I was struck for the fifth time, I had something of a light bulb moment - literally. Why not create a way to turn the lightning strikes into energy for the city? Think about it for a moment: every time a bolt of lightning hits, we could harness the energy to charge the grid. Of course installing all those conductors is going to be horribly, horribly risky, but just think of the savings once they're in place!"

Accept

"Forget the wind and lightning, did you see the hail? It's the size of minivans!" screams Miranda Peters, her voice echoing out from her hiding place beneath your desk. "My house was flattened like a pancake! What we need is some sort of weather machine that can limit the destructive effects of these storms. Sure, it'll cost trillions of Qkarhcs in the first year alone and we'll have to divert funding from all other government departments to pay for it, but we could finally be safe."

Accept

"Never mind about the wind and the storms, they're merely a glimpse of our punishment to come!" exclaims Order of Violet cleric Gertie Champlaeignei, waving a prophetic text in your face. "The Book of Violet says that after me shall come the flood! We must retreat to the ark and prepare to cleanse our souls!"

Accept

"You're all panicking, when you should be seeing this for the great opportunity that it is!" suggests the ever cryptic Minister of Creative Solutions, Lee Mombota. "We could make Eaischpnaeieacgkque Bhcieaghpodsttditf the tourist capital of the world relating to bad weather phenomena. All we need is to set up some dangerous storm spots as sightseeing destinations and we could be rich! Maybe the temperature will actually get below -40 degrees soon so we can unveil our 'Freezing Experience' tour."

Accept

The Government Position

The government has yet to formalize a position on this issue.

Dismiss This Issue

Issue by: The Ubermensch Serene Socialists of Eaischpnaeieacgkque Bhcieaghpodsttditf
Editor: Golgothastan

PostPosted: Thu May 28, 2015 8:37 am
by Golgothastan
Thanks, added.

I had to split the list in 2 now as it had grown too long for one post. #430 is the 400th post-Max issue, so it seemed a good place to make the split anyway.

PostPosted: Sat May 30, 2015 10:25 pm
by Trotterdam
Eaischpnaeieacgkque Bhcieaghpodsttditf wrote:Issue 433

The Worst Storm To Hit @@NAME@@ Since...Yesterday?
Congratulations for being accepted!

(With a few edits, I see.)

Is the validity assigned correctly, though? Nobody seems to be getting the issue.

(I also haven't caught a whiff of #430 yet, but there might be a good reason for that.)

PostPosted: Sun May 31, 2015 12:52 am
by Golgothastan
Trotterdam wrote:Is the validity assigned correctly, though? Nobody seems to be getting the issue.

The validity is deliberately low. If no nations receive it we can look and check the validity is working.
Trotterdam wrote:(I also haven't caught a whiff of #430 yet, but there might be a good reason for that.)

It's not currently active.

PostPosted: Sun May 31, 2015 10:18 pm
by Convergea
Children In The Lead?

The Issue

A recent broadsheet special on the children of other leaders in Zombieland has brought attention to the lack of children in your own residence. Mindful of your dipping approval, some of your advisors have begun to wonder if some popularity could be won back by having a kid or two.

The Debate

''This is a golden PR opportunity,'' exclaims Sarah Christmas, representing Moral Minority. ''Imagine: you'd be the wise family figure. Think how much the people will love your new baby. You'll be the epitome of family values leading everyone into domestic bliss. And think of the merchandising! I mean, think of the children."

Accept

Maxford University demographer and suspected eugenicist Konrad Shiomi disagrees. "The fact is our nation is overflowing with young ne'er-do-wells. They commit more crimes, are more prone to rudeness, and, worst of all, are least likely to care about your good works, Xu Munchie. We have to send the message that we are going to do something about the troublesome demographics, and a good place to start is by you staying childless. And if we really want to crack down on population growth, we need to double down on border security too."

Accept

''Or how about adoption?'' schemes Robin Malik, your PR expert. ''I could see you with a nice adopted Lilliputian boy and an adopted Maxtopian girl. It would look great in front of the cameras. You could be the most multicultural and tolerant leader in Zombieland! And if everyone follows your lead, the orphanages won't be nearly as dreary!"

Accept

The Government Position

The government has yet to formalize a position on this issue.

Dismiss This Issue

Issue 432
ssue by: The Dictatorship of Annihilators of Chan Island
Editor: Lenyo

PostPosted: Mon Jun 01, 2015 4:18 pm
by Acronius
The Issue

After a drunken brawl between rival fraternities resulted in the deaths of five university students, concerned citizens across Acronius have questioned whether fraternities serve a purpose in modern society.

The Debate

"Dude! You can't ban fraternities," says Sean Mistletoe, member of Mu Alpha Xi, while crushing a beer can against his forehead. "Fraternities are like a brotherhood. They give us a sense of belonging. Sure, some of us may get a little out of hand, but we have a right to hang out with whoever we want. Don't we have like, uh, freedom of assembly or something like that in Acronius?"

Accept

"Fraternities continue to be an embarrassment to Acronius's universities," muses your geeky nephew as he peeks his head over a quantum physics textbook. "Don't forget that the same guys who shoved me into lockers in high school are the same ones being caught uttering awful chants and participating in hooliganism. College isn't about getting drunk and partying. It's about studying, working hard, and preparing yourself for the real world. Shutter the frat houses, so us students can study in peace and quiet."

Accept

"Come now, old sport, you can't listen to this poppycock," scoffs grey-haired University of Lionsgate alumnus Bharatendu Longbottom, sporting a swordstick and a hat displaying the symbol of an alleged secret society. "Back in my day we didn't have these problems with our fraternities. The problem is because you allow any Tom, Dick, and Harry into our fine organizations without the proper credentials. Fraternities used to be only for the wealthy and shall we say, Acronius's better citizens. Go back to the old ways and I'm sure these scandals will disappear."

Accept

"The problem isn't fraternities. It is alcohol!" invokes Reverend Joylove. "Some of these young men are a part of my flock and are otherwise upstanding citizens of society. I'm sure that they would never have become involved in a violent fistfight if it weren't for the alcohol polluting their bodies and souls. Instead of punishing the sinner, we must eradicate the sin. Alcohol is the devil's nectar, and it poisons the mind! For the good of society, we must ban all alcohol in Acronius!"

Accept


Issue by: The Free Secular Federation of Nation of Quebec
Editor: Lenyo

PostPosted: Tue Jun 02, 2015 2:56 am
by Golgothastan
Thanks, added. Now we just need an issue about sororities!

PostPosted: Tue Jun 02, 2015 8:44 am
by Trotterdam
...Sorority Scandal? Scrap? Scuffle? Slander? Standoff? Storm? Struggle?

What kind of trouble would the girls be getting into that's different from the boys?

...I'm still pretty sure the validity on #433 is set impossibly strict, though. Has anyone gotten the issue yet?

PostPosted: Tue Jun 02, 2015 9:11 am
by Jute
What's up with #430? Deliberately kept a secret?

PostPosted: Tue Jun 02, 2015 9:12 am
by Bears Armed
Trotterdam wrote:What kind of trouble would the girls be getting into that's different from the boys?
Pregnancies?

PostPosted: Tue Jun 02, 2015 9:27 am
by Trotterdam
Jute wrote:What's up with #430? Deliberately kept a secret?
Perhaps they still need to test or fine-tune the details before it's ready for publication.

Bears Armed wrote:
Trotterdam wrote:What kind of trouble would the girls be getting into that's different from the boys?
Pregnancies?
I was thinking of the stuff that's happening before the pregnancies, but I didn't want to say that.

I can think of a few words starting with S that would be relevant.

PostPosted: Tue Jun 02, 2015 12:01 pm
by Lenyo
Bears Armed wrote:
Trotterdam wrote:What kind of trouble would the girls be getting into that's different from the boys?
Pregnancies?

That also requires a boy.

PostPosted: Tue Jun 02, 2015 6:47 pm
by Eaischpnaeieacgkque Bhcieaghpodsttditf
Jute wrote:What's up with #430? Deliberately kept a secret?


I know! I bet a dollar that it's an easter egg issue that isn't going to be released until people stop asking about it. I would bet that's why it's secret.

PostPosted: Sat Jun 06, 2015 9:29 am
by Recuecn
Trotterdam wrote:...I'm still pretty sure the validity on #433 is set impossibly strict, though. Has anyone gotten the issue yet?

I'm not going to search through the rest of the thread then to see if anyone else has gotten it. I just did. Kind of ironic since the last poster is its author.

The Reçueçn Journal
VOL. 32 NO. 433CITY FINAL
SATURDAY JUNE 6, 2015
The Worst Storm To Hit Recuecn Since...Yesterday?

The Issue

After the eighth terrible super-storm to ravage Recuecn this week, residents of the affected areas, your own advisers, and random people seeking shelter from the elements have gathered in Reçueçn to see whether anything can be done.

The Debate

"I'm tired of these storms, Leader," sighs Al Sato, who looks as though he's just been dragged through a tornado. "The winds of this last storm were over 300 kph! My house was blown away! Something must be done to prevent buildings from being destroyed. Maybe if the government made it mandatory for all buildings to pass a disaster safety test, it would solve all our problems." He plucks a bird's nest from his hair before continuing. "I'd be prepared to pay a little more in tax if I still had a roof to sleep under!"

Accept

"Did you see how many times my supposedly lightning-proofed house was struck by lightning this morning?" cries violently twitching government advisor Virginia Giono, still smoking and smelling of static. "But when I was struck for the fifth time, I had something of a light bulb moment - literally. Why not create a way to turn the lightning strikes into energy for the city? Think about it for a moment: every time a bolt of lightning hits, we could harness the energy to charge the grid. Of course installing all those conductors is going to be horribly, horribly risky, but just think of the savings once they're in place!"

Accept

"Forget the wind and lightning, did you see the hail? It's the size of minivans!" screams Lauren Broadside, her voice echoing out from her hiding place beneath your desk. "My house was flattened like a pancake! What we need is some sort of weather machine that can limit the destructive effects of these storms. Sure, it'll cost trillions of guilders in the first year alone and we'll have to divert funding from all other government departments to pay for it, but we could finally be safe."

Accept

"Never mind about the wind and the storms, they're merely a glimpse of our punishment to come!" exclaims Order of Violet cleric Mary Johnson, waving a prophetic text in your face. "The Book of Violet says that after me shall come the flood! We must retreat to the ark and prepare to cleanse our souls!"

Accept

"You're all panicking, when you should be seeing this for the great opportunity that it is!" suggests the ever cryptic Minister of Creative Solutions, Ruby Cruz. "We could make Recuecn the tourist capital of the world relating to bad weather phenomena. All we need is to set up some dangerous storm spots as sightseeing destinations and we could be rich! Maybe the temperature will actually get below -40 degrees soon so we can unveil our 'Freezing Experience' tour."

Accept

The Government Position

The government has yet to formalize a position on this issue.

Dismiss This Issue

Issue by: The Ubermensch Serene Socialists of Eaischpnaeieacgkque Bhcieaghpodsttditf
Editor: Golgothastan

PostPosted: Sat Jun 06, 2015 9:31 am
by Trotterdam
Recuecn wrote:I'm not going to search through the rest of the thread then to see if anyone else has gotten it. I just did. Kind of ironic since the last poster is its author.
Yes, people just started getting it yesterday. They must have changed the validity.

PostPosted: Sat Jun 06, 2015 9:34 am
by Sanctaria
Trotterdam wrote:
Recuecn wrote:I'm not going to search through the rest of the thread then to see if anyone else has gotten it. I just did. Kind of ironic since the last poster is its author.
Yes, people just started getting it yesterday. They must have changed the validity.

The validity was adjusted.

PostPosted: Sat Jun 06, 2015 9:58 am
by Recuecn
Sorry, didn't realize you had already found it, despite the validity issue.

Makes me kind of sad though: the issue I had submitted was somewhat similar in premise and a couple of the options, too. Since this one hadn't been let out when I submitted mine, I was unaware of it. I guess I can still hope though.

PostPosted: Sat Jun 06, 2015 10:19 am
by Trotterdam
I haven't seen anyone choose option 4 yet.

I've also seen traces of what might be a new issue, but I'm increasingly suspecting that the editors are no longer telling us when they're making major changes to old issues. I have guesses about which ones have been changed, but it's hard to tell for sure and it's the kind of thing people are likely to neglect to post here.

PostPosted: Sat Jun 06, 2015 10:27 am
by Sedgistan
Trotterdam wrote:I've also seen traces of what might be a new issue, but I'm increasingly suspecting that the editors are no longer telling us when they're making major changes to old issues. I have guesses about which ones have been changed, but it's hard to tell for sure and it's the kind of thing people are likely to neglect to post here.

That one was announced because options swapped place; generally when we add new options into old issues without changing the ordering of other options, we wouldn't announce it. Also, we tend to take them out of circulation for a short while before doing it, to ensure there's no mix-up with people choosing options they didn't intend to.

PostPosted: Sat Jun 06, 2015 9:28 pm
by Trotterdam
Trotterdam wrote:I haven't seen anyone choose option 4 yet.
And now suddenly a lot of people did!.

Well, that's that. Onward to the next issue!

PostPosted: Fri Jun 12, 2015 9:50 am
by Zurkerx
Found #430, I just got the issue:

Easter Egg: Please, Sir, We Want Some More Issues

The Issue

With the same old dilemmas confronting Zurkerx time and time again, people are demanding to know why there aren't more genuinely new issues.

The Debate

1."Well, that's because they're all twaddle,” says [violet] matter-of-factly while twirling a lighter in her hands. "I'm sick and tired of reading that garbage. I've decided to scrap the player-submitted system -- but don't tell anyone that. The endless waves of hate mail would overwhelm the server."

Accept

2."The aim of this site is to promote my novel, not the writing talents of literary wannabes," scoffs Max Barry while sipping an iced-Margarita on a yacht in the South Pacific. "I've ordered the mods to only approve mediocre issues to ensure that no one discovers there are better writers out there than me."

Accept

3."I've been combing through the queue, carefully examining each draft and determining its potential," sighs Sedgistan who is sitting next to an orderly stack of drafts stamped 'no way in hell'. "I'm confronted with thousands upon thousands of issues. I have to manage multiple editors and somehow still place in the Mod Olympics. Do you have any idea how much stress that puts on me? That's why it takes so long. Stop breathing down my neck. If you want to be useful, go help out the newbies in Got Issues."

Accept

4."Huh? What's that?" says Sanctaria absentmindedly, looking up from an intimidating series of flow charts. "More issues? Well, it's your lucky day! I'm working on my next great chain. It will dwarf my last one in size and complexity. Forget everything you know about issues, every rule you think we can't break, because this chain is going to break them all."

Accept

5."I couldn't agree with this more!" yelps Comrade Lenyo, his arms full of drafts. "We've received over 6,000 submissions! If we just got rid of the delete button, that'd be over 6,000 more issues. Who doesn't want that? Why are we still wasting time talking about this? Why are you reading this instead of submitting more drafts for us to add? EVERY. SECOND. COUNTS!"

Accept

6.The deafening Voice of Mod booms down from the heavens, "You will receive new issues when you receive new issues. Your questioning is undermining the authority of the mods. I've deleted enough nations to know flaming when I read it. You have been warned."

Accept

Issue by: The Anti-Harry Potter Prison of Eta Carinae
Editor: Luna Amore

PostPosted: Sat Jun 13, 2015 12:57 am
by Golgothastan
Thanks, added. #435 is also live (I know, because I wrote it!) but I'll leave it to someone else to report it.