NationStates Issues **SPOILER ALERT**

[Barbarossistan]

And we got # 492 The artwork in the attic:

The Issue

After the death of the wealthy Maxtopian immigrant Emmeline Maria Lopez, a large stash of paintings, many of which are believed to have been produced by the most notable artists in the history of Maxtopia, was found in her attic. With no will to reference, it is up to the government to decide what should be done with the discoveries.
The Debate

"Emmeline decided to make Barbarossistanian South Brasilistan her home," comments Clint Rikkard, the Minister of Fine Arts, who was a close friend of the deceased woman. "I know her character well enough to say that she would want her collection to remain here. She was a patron of the arts; I suggest we make an endowment to the Barbarossistanian South Brasilistan City Museum in her name. The Maxtopians are welcome to visit the museum and pay to see the paintings like anyone else."

"Pay to see them!" gasps Virginia Love, the Maxtopian Minister of Culture and part-time art critic. "There are paintings of great historical and cultural value to my country in that collection! They should be returned to Maxtopia with all due haste! Just imagine the 'The Fall of St. Barrysburg' hanging on the walls of the Maxtopian National Museum in the very room where it was painted by Whilhelm Aaron de Castro as the noises of war reached his ears from outside his study. Does it not stir your soul?"

"Why not put them up for auction?" asks auction master Stan de Vries with a dramatic flourish of his gavel. "That way whoever wants them the most will purchase them. Do I hear wealthy Maxtopians? Museum curators? Do I hear eccentric collectors? SOLD! to the highest bidder and money in the government coffers to boot!"

[Sovereign California]

The Issue

News media is abuzz this week as prominent atheist and anti-religious author Gary Montague has threatened to burn a copy of Dévnostraévism's most sacred text in order to desecrate it and offend its adherents worldwide. As usual, everyone and their mother are demanding that you do something about this.

The Debate

#1. Montague brandishes a copy of the offending book in your face while hiding in your office from a torch-bearing mob. "This so-called 'religious text' endorses people who commit murder, slavery, incest, genocide, and environmental destruction as holy and devout men. It deserves burning! I don't care how popular or moral Dévnostraévism is these days: this so-called holy text is a blueprint for barbarism. That kind of evil has no place in our so-called civilized society." Montague panics and flees through your window as the mob breaks down the door.

Accept

#2. "By all that's holy, Sovereign Imperatrix Selene Dévnostraéva, we cannot let this happen!" exclaims devout and questionably sane prosecutor Mildred Beatty, bearing a torch and pitchfork. "Sovereign California will be the laughing stock of the world if this nutjob gets his way! Let me send over some agents - good men, pious men - and burn him instead! In fact, we should open a new division just for this type of good work. We'll burn some of Montague's books while we're at it - some of them are dangerous, you know. Fire is bright and fire is clean! Fire will cleanse Sovereign California of its sins!"

Accept

#3. "This guy Montag - is that his name? Mont- eh, whatever. It's obvious that he's the problem," suggests Stoneman Black, proprietor of the Los Angeles ― Los Angeles NCD Legitimate Businessman's Club. "Allowing him to proceed would damage Sovereign California's reputation, but so would turning into a tyrannical mobocracy. My uh... my associates and I can take him out for a small fee. Heck, we'll even make it look like an accident. All you need to do is look the other way, and your little problem will be solved."

Accept

#4. "All of these people are tyrannical scumbags!" bellows the usually quiet Bic Granger, director of the Los Angeles ― Los Angeles NCD National Library. "You're talking about a cavalier disregard for the whole world's entire knowledge and heritage, from cavepeople to philosophers to tabloid reporters. Books can be immortal if they're taken care of. In fact, the government should be protecting books from the burners and ensuring that people have a right to read whatever they please, regardless of how offensive that might be."

Accept

[Barbarossistanian South Brasilistan]

and here's #493 suspicious superhuman athletes by: the citystat of outer sparta, editor sleep

The Issue

Vance Armstorm, a seven time Tour de Barbarossistanian South Brasilistan winner, has been accused of taking drugs that enhance overall performance in sports, and has subsequently been stripped of all his titles. Pundits now say the problem has spread into other sports like Dolphinball, and the The North Pacific Olympics.
The Debate

"They might as well put on capes and masks to go with that spandex!" exclaims sports commissioner Beth Han, while reviewing a video of a recent Olympic try-out. "I've seen weightlifters lift 200 kgs for five minutes straight, and marathon runners not even looking tired in the 40th kilometer! We need tighter doping laws in all sports and better drug testing equipment. For the sake of fairness in all sports in Barbarossistanian South Brasilistan, we need to test every athlete we can find!"

"Come on, I didn't do anything wrong," asserts Vance Armstorm, while sipping a suspiciously glowing energy drink. "These allegations are nothing but a ploy by my competitors to discredit my hard work and natural superiority. I've trained all my life to be in this competition! Drug tests are an insulting invasion of my privacy. They should be outlawed! I say I'm clean. The team doctor says I'm clean. Shouldn't our word be enough?"

"I don't really understand what issue is," muses Hack Dovey, a burly Smalltopian diplomat, from a couch in the executive lounge. "I watch sports to see best compete against best. Who cares if they take drug or drinking chemical to be stronger and faster? Give all athlete drug!" As he speaks, he is rapidly switching between three different sporting events on TV. "Stronger, faster, BETTER, if you ask me!"

"Stronger, faster... broken," comments former world heavyweight boxing champion Ella Winters, speaking unusually slowly. "We... break ourselves; we break each other. Taking drugs... just makes it worse. Anything to win. Anything. The problem isn't... isn't... drugs. The problem is sports. If you value athletes as people... as human... beings... you need to ban organized sports."

[Christian Democrats]

#221 has been updated. Apparently, it's been in its current form since about a week before I became the overseer of spoilers.

#451, #492, and #493 have been added.

• I'm missing the author and editor for #451.
• In Option 451.2-4, are any of these random names?

[Nation of Quebec]

#221 has been updated. Apparently, it's been in its current form since about a week before I became the overseer of spoilers.

#451, #492, and #493 have been added.

• I'm missing the author and editor for #451.
• In Option 451.2-4, are any of these random names?

The editor for 451 is me and the author is Sierra Lyricalla.

None of the names in 451 are random.

[Christian Democrats]

I've put you and Sierra Lyricalia down.

And that's what I thought. Thank you!

[Lenyo]

None of the names in 451 are random.

Except Sovereign Imperatrix Selene Dévnostraéva, which is a particularly interesting leader macro. All hail her imperial sovereignty!

[Christian Democrats]

Yes, I got that one.

[Conoistre]

#494 - Whipping Up A Controversy

The Issue

Amnesty Interregional has repeatedly ranked @@NAME@@ as one of the worst human rights abusers in the world, citing your government's severe punishments for ordinary crimes. Embarrassed by the bad press, your government is considering ending its practice of flogging criminals.

The Debate

1. "This punishment is barbaric!" cries leading activist @@RANDOMNAME@@, while whipping out leaflets on @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ law enforcement. "We're no better than backward dictatorships like Maxtopia who flog their criminals for the most trivial of crimes! @@NAME@@ is a nation of decency and respect, but these whippings tarnish our reputation for humanity. We implore the government to end this medieval practice now!"

2. "Are you kidding me?" rhetorically asks the precinct's premier whipper, @@RANDOMNAME@@, while applying a new grip to his favorite cat o' nine tails. "Flogging criminals is so exciting - I mean effective. Yeah, effective. I deter criminals from misbehaving with the lash of my whip. If anything, you should expand the list of crimes punishable by flogging. Then I could really have some fun!"

(...I might've got some variables wrong.)

[Trotterdam]

Author and editor?

This was actually one of the issues I saw Lenyo testing back when it was accidentally visible. (Unlike Luna Amore, he was working on real issues.) Is he still credited as the editor?

The effect line for the second option's been toned down since the early version, from "stealing cable is punished by whipping with electrical wire" to the less entertaining but more believable "jaywalking is punishable by public flogging".

(...I might've got some variables wrong.)

Looks good, except that the second option should use @@RANDOMMALENAME@@, due to the pronoun.

[Lenyo]

Nuremgard was the author, and I was the editor. And for the record, the first character in #494 isn't a random name.

[Omigodtheykilledkenny]

Beloved "Planet" Has Gone To The Dogs [Omigodtheykilledkenny; ed. Sleep]

The Issue

Outrage has been brewing across the nation since the International Astronomers Council decided to reclassify Fido, @@NAME@@'s most beloved planet, as "Just a Really Big Meteoroid." Now, for some reason, Fido-lovers are looking to you for action.

The Debate

1. "Demoting our cherished 'Dog Planet' is an insult to @@NAME@@!" declares LNM. TF. Sirius, noted Fido-defender and author of 'Science! (Huh!) What Is It Good For?' "I don't need to remind you that Fido is the only planet to be discovered by a @@DEMONYMNOUN@@, and now these so-called 'scientists' are trying to get rid of it! I bet they'd change their tune if you cut off funding for all the observatories. I think the government needs to take a clear stand and declare that all educational curricula within @@NAME@@ still consider Fido a planet. Our textbooks need to defend the scientific discoveries of our fellow @@DEMONYMNOUNPLURAL@@!"

2. "Maybe this isn't the travesty we think it is?" wonders @@RANDOMNAME@@, a planetary scientist who has discovered several other Really Big Meteoroids. "After all, the Bigtopian word for 'crisis' is the same as the word for 'big cash payoff'... isn't it? If you give us some money, we can rig up a cool space probe to blast into the outer part of our system and investigate Fido for ourselves. If pretty pictures aren't enough to convince the skeptics at the IAC that it is actually a planet, well then, maybe there's another planet out there for me, I mean, us to find? It's pretty unlikely we'll find anything, but it takes so long to get out there; who's gonna remember the hit to their wallets twenty years from now?"

3. "Look, the fact of the matter is, Fido is not like all the other planets in our system, and anyone who can't accept it is a science-denier," says children's entertainer Will Zeke the Science Geek, sporting his trademark lab coat and bow tie. "Any government that refuses to heed scientific evidence does not deserve to function. I'm not just talking about space; I'm talking about tackling climate change and teaching evolutionary science in school instead of fairy tales about Adele and Steve!"




...I don't know what LMN. TF. means, but there you have it.

[Sanctaria]

I don't know what LMN. TF. means, but there you have it.

It's his/her nom de plume.

[Leppikania]

Beloved "Planet" Has Gone To The Dogs [Omigodtheykilledkenny; ed. Sleep]

The Issue

Outrage has been brewing across the nation since the International Astronomers Council decided to reclassify Fido, Omigodtheykilledkenny@@NAME@@'s most beloved planet, as "Just a Really Big Meteoroid." Now, for some reason, Fido-lovers are looking to you for action.

The Debate

1. "Demoting our cherished 'Dog Planet' is an insult to @@NAME@@!" declares LNM. TF. Sirius, noted Fido-defender and author of 'Science! (Huh!) What Is It Good For?' "I don't need to remind you that Fido is the only planet to be discovered by a @@DEMONYMNOUN@@, and now these so-called 'scientists' are trying to get rid of it! I bet they'd change their tune if you cut off funding for all the observatories. I think the government needs to take a clear stand and declare that all educational curricula within @@NAME@@ still consider Fido a planet. Our textbooks need to defend the scientific discoveries of our fellow @@DEMONYMNOUNPLURAL@@!"

2. "Maybe this isn't the travesty we think it is?" wonders @@RANDOMNAME@@, a planetary scientist who has discovered several other Really Big Meteoroids. "After all, the Bigtopian word for 'crisis' is the same as the word for 'big cash payoff'... isn't it? If you give us some money, we can rig up a cool space probe to blast into the outer part of our system and investigate Fido for ourselves. If pretty pictures aren't enough to convince the skeptics at the IAC that it is actually a planet, well then, maybe there's another planet out there for me, I mean, us to find? It's pretty unlikely we'll find anything, but it takes so long to get out there; who's gonna remember the hit to their wallets twenty years from now?"

3. "Look, the fact of the matter is, Fido is not like all the other planets in our system, and anyone who can't accept it is a science-denier," says children's entertainer Will Zeke the Science Geek, sporting his trademark lab coat and bow tie. "Any government that refuses to heed scientific evidence does not deserve to function. I'm not just talking about space; I'm talking about tackling climate change and teaching evolutionary science in school instead of fairy tales about Adele and Steve!"




...I don't know what LMN. TF. means, but there you have it.

You missed a @@NAME@@ there.

[Sleep]

Beloved "Planet" Has Gone To The Dogs [Omigodtheykilledkenny; ed. Sleep]
...I don't know what LMN. TF. means, but there you have it.

and everyone will get something slightly different.

[Omigodtheykilledkenny]

Oh! I get it now!

[The Candy Of Bottles]

Nuremgard was the author, and I was the editor. And for the record, the first character in #494 isn't a random name.

That would be Meadow Smith then- just got the issue on a puppet.

[Trotterdam]

The speaker in the first option of #495 is "@@ANIMALINITIALS@@. @@CURRENCYINITIALS@@. Sirius". I didn't know we even had these macros.

"Will Zeke the Science Geek" appears to be a nonrandom name due to rhyming.

Speaking of "pretty pictures", I would like to note that, planet or not, the New Horizons photos of Pluto were amazing and totally blew away my expectations.

[Sleep]

The speaker in the first option of #495 is "@@ANIMALINITIALS@@. @@CURRENCYINITIALS@@. Sirius". I didn't know we even had these macros.

"Will Zeke the Science Geek" appears to be a nonrandom name due to rhyming.

Speaking of "pretty pictures", I would like to note that, planet or not, the New Horizons photos of Pluto were amazing and totally blew away my expectations.

Sometimes, the new guy is going to try stuff with existing macros that might not be 'how they were intended' to be used.

Also, completely agree about the New Horizons stuff.

[Phydios]

The speaker in the first option of #495 is "@@ANIMALINITIALS@@. @@CURRENCYINITIALS@@. Sirius". I didn't know we even had these macros.

"Will Zeke the Science Geek" appears to be a nonrandom name due to rhyming.

Speaking of "pretty pictures", I would like to note that, planet or not, the New Horizons photos of Pluto were amazing and totally blew away my expectations.

Will Zeke is most likely a parody of Bill Nye, who is known for his TV program "Bill Nye the Science Guy".

[Conoistre]

#496 Rock 'N' Roll Suicide

The Issue

The nation is in mourning after beloved cultural icon Johnny Brazeau was found dead of apparent suicide in his Tasmanian beachhouse. New details have emerged that his eccentric and happy-go-lucky public persona was masking chronic depression, thrusting mental illness into the public spotlight.

The Debate

1. "Clearly, Mr. Brazeau was suffering from severe depression," says world-renowned psychiatrist Dr. @@RANDOMNAME@@. "This is symptomatic of a deep-seated epidemic of unreported mental illness across Forest. Mental health services have been underfunded for decades, and it is about time that the government stepped in to provide proper mental healthcare for the nation. We desperately need evidence based CBT, more psychiatrists, and proper education to finally rid ourselves of this stigma surrounding mental health. You can't put a price on the nation's wellbeing."

2. "Johnny Brazeau's death is a tragedy, but we all know his songs contained subliminal pro-suicide messages," says moral crusader @@RANDOMNAME@@, who is well known for egging blasphemers and burning effigies of politicians. "People across @@NAME@@ now know that an idolized national treasure selfishly took his own life. What kind of message does that send, especially to kids? This shameless act is only going to convince them that suicide is cool. Suicide must be made illegal, and only the ultimate punishment will deter people from this sin. We need to teach our children that life, regardless of how much you're suffering, is always the answer."

3. "Haha, the freak finally did himself in. That's very droll," laughs insensitive city worker @@RANDOMNAME@@, who was recently laid off for making countless inappropriate jokes on the job. "Yes, of course people are down in this nation, but if you want to cheer us up, give the people a tax cut. Stop wasting money on welfare and all this mental health rubbish. Give us our money back, and we'll make ourselves happy.."

4. "It's a tragedy of course, but also an opportunity," suggests professional spin doctor @@RANDOMNAME@@, handing you a bottle of fake tears. "If we play our cards right, we can create a distraction from hard-to-sell government policies. Make a speech with a single tear rolling down your cheek and visit the widow to bring a wreath and a spontaneous hug. We can make bad news work to improve your public image."

(...again, not sure about the variables. The last one could be randommalename.)

Almost up to issue 500. I wonder if those will have something to do with the error codes (500 Internal Server Error,501 Not Implemented, 503 Service Unavailable,...)

[Omigodtheykilledkenny]

The speaker in the first option of #495 is "@@ANIMALINITIALS@@. @@CURRENCYINITIALS@@. Sirius". I didn't know we even had these macros.

"Will Zeke the Science Geek" appears to be a nonrandom name due to rhyming.

Speaking of "pretty pictures", I would like to note that, planet or not, the New Horizons photos of Pluto were amazing and totally blew away my expectations.

Will Zeke is most likely a parody of Bill Nye, who is known for his TV program "Bill Nye the Science Guy".

Are there people who are unfamiliar with Bill Nye? I'm asking sincerely, not trying to be smart.

[Candlewhisper Archive]

Will Zeke is most likely a parody of Bill Nye, who is known for his TV program "Bill Nye the Science Guy".

Are there people who are unfamiliar with Bill Nye? I'm asking sincerely, not trying to be smart.

Well, put it this way. He's an American who is famous for his work in America who has been on American TV a lot... Or so wikipedia tells me!

Sounds like a great person, but I'd never heard his name till now.

[Gnejs]

Not gonna lie, in my mind I read this Bill Nighy

[Drawkland]

ISSUE 494: "Whipping Up A Controversy"

The Issue

Amnesty Interregional has repeatedly ranked Drawkland as one of the worst human rights abusers in the world, citing your government's severe punishments for ordinary crimes. Embarrassed by the bad press, your government is considering ending its practice of flogging criminals.

The Debate

"This punishment is barbaric!" cries leading activist Meadow Smith, while whipping out leaflets on Drawkian law enforcement. "We're no better than backward dictatorships like Maxtopia who flog their criminals for the most trivial of crimes! Drawkland is a nation of decency and respect, but these whippings tarnish our reputation for humanity. We implore the government to end this medieval practice now!"

Accept

"Are you kidding me?" rhetorically asks the precinct's premier whipper, Ryan Sanchez, while applying a new grip to his favorite cat o' nine tails. "Flogging criminals is so exciting - I mean effective. Yeah, effective. I deter criminals from misbehaving with the lash of my whip. If anything, you should expand the list of crimes punishable by flogging. Then I could really have some fun!"

Accept