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NationStates Issues **SPOILER ALERT**

A place to spoil daily issues for those who haven't had them yet, snigger at typos, and discuss ideas for new ones.

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Caterasia
Bureaucrat
 
Posts: 48
Founded: May 01, 2014
Democratic Socialists

Postby Caterasia » Thu May 08, 2014 3:37 am

I love this! Thank you!

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Samruddha
Civilian
 
Posts: 1
Founded: Feb 16, 2014
Ex-Nation

Postby Samruddha » Tue May 13, 2014 2:00 am

I thin I've got a new one , couldn't find it on any list

Subversive Shortwaves

The Issue

Radio Free Samruddha - operating out of neighboring Bigtopia - has been broadcasting subversive views throughout Samruddha. Government hard-liners, outraged by the station's ideology, have demanded that something now be done.

The Debate

1. "This cannot stand!" barks Gretel Han, head of the Armed Forces. "Bigtopia has always tried to undermine us, and allowing known rabble-rousers to broadcast their vile propaganda into our nation is just their latest attempt to destabilize our government. Immediate invasion and a blank check for the military would silence this Bigtopian nonsense once and for all."

2."Excessive and far too expensive," counters Prudence McKay, a professor at the Samruddha Institute of Communications Engineering. "The solution is not always bombing or occupation. After all, our main targets are their radio stations. A powerful transmitter to jam the frequencies they broadcast on will prevent anyone from listening. It just so happens I have the blueprints for such a device with me. Sure, it won't be cheap, but it will cost far less than a prolonged military campaign."

3."I think my esteemed colleagues are putting the cart before the horse," says a shifty character from Overseas Intelligence. "It would be much more effective if there were no dissidents willing to broadcast in the first place. My people are in place; just give the word and we can silence this station within a week. Along with every other unpatriotic muckraker we can track down, of course."

4."I can't believe what I'm hearing," gasps Calvin Winters, a social policy adviser. "Dissent is an essential part of the political process. How are we to know what we are doing wrong if we don't listen to our critics? Sure some of them have extreme opinions, but it's our responsibility to build bridges and understand why they feel so disenfranchised that they felt they had to leave in the first place. I suggest initiating a government-funded study to identify the root of the problem, followed by training for all government employees to ensure none of our population feels this way again."

Issue by: The Psychedelic Hallucination of The Grand Dilligaf
Editor: Lenyo

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Luna Amore
Issues Editor
 
Posts: 15751
Founded: Antiquity
Benevolent Dictatorship

Postby Luna Amore » Tue May 13, 2014 9:17 am

Subversive Shortwaves - Issue #354

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Andacantra
Diplomat
 
Posts: 570
Founded: Jul 01, 2010
Ex-Nation

Postby Andacantra » Wed May 14, 2014 6:30 am

My apologies for missing this, I will add it as soon as I can.
Abbey
Chief Kitty of the Cat Burglars
Bi-gameplayers: Raiding and defending because both are fun and ok
Nationstates Issues **SPOILER ALERT**

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Benjamin Mark
Diplomat
 
Posts: 780
Founded: Apr 10, 2012
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Benjamin Mark » Tue May 20, 2014 6:27 am

I just received a new issue, Issue #355: Alien Invaders

The Issue

A spectre is haunting @@NAME@@ — the spectre of the Woodeating Spikeball. With scenic parks ravaged by this invasive species, citizens are clamoring at your door to advise you.

The Debate

1. "The ecosystem is in great peril," claims @@RANDOMNAME@@, an importer of exotic pets. "These Woodeating Spikeballs have no natural predators here. But there is a solution: back in their native Maxtopia, these pests are kept in check by the Sabre-toothed @@ANIMAL@@. We have to introduce these animals into our forests before it's too late. And you know, since I'm such a nice guy, I'll cut you a deal on the @@ANIMAL@@s."

2. "You can't stop one invasive species by introducing another," scoffs avid hunter @@RANDOMNAME@@ while skinning several rabbits on your desk. "Just give out hunting permits for these Spikeballs, and we'll have the population under control in no time. You know what, might as well extend hunting and fishing seasons for other animals too. I've been itching to bag myself a Giant Lilliputian Rabbit."

3. "We shouldn't be left at the mercy of our citizens," counsels gendarme @@RANDOMNAME@@ while barely suppressing his hatred for animals. "If you want something done right, you gotta do it yourself. Let's send out our boys in blue to go hunt down these vermin." Frothing rabidly, he finishes, "That way we can be sure every last one of those mangy, stinking, filth-ridden pests is dead!"

4. "So what if these Spikeballs are eating all the trees?" says thoroughly apathetic citizen @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Nature got along fine for millions of years before we came into the picture. Just let survival of the fittest run its course. Sure, we might lose a few species or ecosystems along the way, but at least we'll save some money. Forests are really boring, anyway."

Issue by: Ignorent peeple
Editor: Lenyo

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Ardreas
Lobbyist
 
Posts: 15
Founded: Aug 25, 2012
Ex-Nation

Postby Ardreas » Wed May 21, 2014 11:35 am

Benjamin Mark wrote:I just received a new issue, Issue #355: Alien Invaders

The Issue

A spectre is haunting @@NAME@@ — the spectre of the Woodeating Spikeball. With scenic parks ravaged by this invasive species, citizens are clamoring at your door to advise you.

The Debate

...
2. "You can't stop one invasive species by introducing another," scoffs avid hunter @@RANDOMNAME@@ while skinning several rabbits on your desk. "Just give out hunting permits for these Spikeballs, and we'll have the population under control in no time. You know what, might as well extend hunting and fishing seasons for other animals too. I've been itching to bag myself a Giant Lilliputian Rabbit."
...
Issue by: Ignorent peeple
Editor: Lenyo


I just got this issue, too, and already it seems unbalanced. According to the standards for submitting an issue, there should never be a clear "right" or "wrong" choice, one that has nothing but benefits or nothing but negatives. However, choosing option 2 landed me nothing but negatives. A -6 to environmental beauty (understandable), a -1 to lifespan (why?), a -6 to tourism (also why?), a +6 to toxicity (I guess because hunting is bad?), and a -2 to weather (finicky stat already). And no benefits of any kind. Clearly this is supposed to be the "wrong" choice. But that goes against the purpose of issues. There isn't supposed to be a single "wrong" choice. They're all supposed to be balanced in some way. And this one is not. I think it needs to be re-edited. I didn't even get a tax break for letting the people handle the pests on their own. :mad:
As the Americans learned so painfully in Earth's final century, free flow of information is the only safeguard against tyranny. The once-chained people whose leaders at last lose their grip on information flow will soon burst with freedom and vitality, but the free nation gradually constricting its grip on public discourse has begun its rapid slide into despotism. Beware of he who would deny you access to information, for in his heart he dreams himself your master.

Commissioner Pravin Lal, "U.N. Declaration of Rights"

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Luna Amore
Issues Editor
 
Posts: 15751
Founded: Antiquity
Benevolent Dictatorship

Postby Luna Amore » Wed May 21, 2014 8:54 pm

Ardreas wrote:
Benjamin Mark wrote:I just received a new issue, Issue #355: Alien Invaders

The Issue

A spectre is haunting @@NAME@@ — the spectre of the Woodeating Spikeball. With scenic parks ravaged by this invasive species, citizens are clamoring at your door to advise you.

The Debate

...
2. "You can't stop one invasive species by introducing another," scoffs avid hunter @@RANDOMNAME@@ while skinning several rabbits on your desk. "Just give out hunting permits for these Spikeballs, and we'll have the population under control in no time. You know what, might as well extend hunting and fishing seasons for other animals too. I've been itching to bag myself a Giant Lilliputian Rabbit."
...
Issue by: Ignorent peeple
Editor: Lenyo


I just got this issue, too, and already it seems unbalanced. According to the standards for submitting an issue, there should never be a clear "right" or "wrong" choice, one that has nothing but benefits or nothing but negatives. However, choosing option 2 landed me nothing but negatives. A -6 to environmental beauty (understandable), a -1 to lifespan (why?), a -6 to tourism (also why?), a +6 to toxicity (I guess because hunting is bad?), and a -2 to weather (finicky stat already). And no benefits of any kind. Clearly this is supposed to be the "wrong" choice. But that goes against the purpose of issues. There isn't supposed to be a single "wrong" choice. They're all supposed to be balanced in some way. And this one is not. I think it needs to be re-edited. I didn't even get a tax break for letting the people handle the pests on their own. :mad:

Looking over the stats, that issue does have balanced stats. To address some of your points:

- it should never be a case where one option is right and the others wrong. Every choice is wrong in some sense.
- negative stats are a matter of perspective. Some people may want a stronger economy or more political freedoms; I want just the opposite for this nation. So what may be a positive effect for you is a negative one for me and vice versa.
- the effects of issue choices vary depending on which nation answered it

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Andacantra
Diplomat
 
Posts: 570
Founded: Jul 01, 2010
Ex-Nation

Postby Andacantra » Sat May 24, 2014 11:57 am

I may possibly have just broken things badly. Bear with me while I fix this...

EDIT: #355: Alien Invaders [Ignorent peeple; ed:Lenyo] added and a bit of a mess cleaned up :blush:
Last edited by Andacantra on Sat May 24, 2014 12:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Abbey
Chief Kitty of the Cat Burglars
Bi-gameplayers: Raiding and defending because both are fun and ok
Nationstates Issues **SPOILER ALERT**

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Burgera
Attaché
 
Posts: 90
Founded: Oct 03, 2013
Ex-Nation

Postby Burgera » Thu May 29, 2014 9:51 am

#356: @@NAME@@ In The Time Of Cholera [Wonnie; ed:Lenyo]

The Issue
Reports of cholera deaths have skyrocketed due to the sewage contaminating @@NAME@@'s rivers.

The Debate
1. "People are dropping like flies out here!" cries Doctor @@RANDOMNAME@@, whose disheveled appearance suggests that the flies are actually doing quite well. "This is all the fault of the corrupt, uncaring sewage companies that dump waste into our rivers. We need to enforce harsher environmental regulations and make them pay to clean up the mess they created!"

2. "We don't pump our water from the sea," suggests @@RANDOMNAME@@, night shift manager at @@NAME@@ Water & Utility. "Why not just put our waste on barges and dump it far out in international waters? We at @@NAMEINITIALS@@W&U will be pumping nice clean water again, and the waste will never be a problem for anyone but foreigners, so it's win-win."
Last edited by Burgera on Thu May 29, 2014 9:52 am, edited 1 time in total.
Guns and burgers!

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Andacantra
Diplomat
 
Posts: 570
Founded: Jul 01, 2010
Ex-Nation

Postby Andacantra » Sun Jun 01, 2014 5:59 pm

Just quickly dropping a note in here before anyone starts poking me that I have seen this one and it'll be added soon but I have had the last few days from hell.
Abbey
Chief Kitty of the Cat Burglars
Bi-gameplayers: Raiding and defending because both are fun and ok
Nationstates Issues **SPOILER ALERT**

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Fravert
Political Columnist
 
Posts: 3
Founded: Jun 08, 2014
Ex-Nation

Postby Fravert » Sun Jun 08, 2014 5:14 pm

Ardreas wrote:
Benjamin Mark wrote:I just received a new issue, Issue #355: Alien Invaders

The Issue

A spectre is haunting @@NAME@@ — the spectre of the Woodeating Spikeball. With scenic parks ravaged by this invasive species, citizens are clamoring at your door to advise you.

The Debate

...
2. "You can't stop one invasive species by introducing another," scoffs avid hunter @@RANDOMNAME@@ while skinning several rabbits on your desk. "Just give out hunting permits for these Spikeballs, and we'll have the population under control in no time. You know what, might as well extend hunting and fishing seasons for other animals too. I've been itching to bag myself a Giant Lilliputian Rabbit."
...
Issue by: Ignorent peeple
Editor: Lenyo


I just got this issue, too, and already it seems unbalanced. According to the standards for submitting an issue, there should never be a clear "right" or "wrong" choice, one that has nothing but benefits or nothing but negatives. However, choosing option 2 landed me nothing but negatives. A -6 to environmental beauty (understandable), a -1 to lifespan (why?), a -6 to tourism (also why?), a +6 to toxicity (I guess because hunting is bad?), and a -2 to weather (finicky stat already). And no benefits of any kind. Clearly this is supposed to be the "wrong" choice. But that goes against the purpose of issues. There isn't supposed to be a single "wrong" choice. They're all supposed to be balanced in some way. And this one is not. I think it needs to be re-edited. I didn't even get a tax break for letting the people handle the pests on their own. :mad:


How do you find out your nation stats like that bro?

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Riasy
Attaché
 
Posts: 94
Founded: Dec 24, 2012
Ex-Nation

Postby Riasy » Thu Jun 26, 2014 9:05 am

Another new Issue! :clap:


#357: Vamos, Mi @@ANIMAL@@! [Octuagesimo Octavo; ed:Sedgistan]

The Issue
Following the ban on cars, a criminal alliance dominated by Olympic-class sprinters has sprung up, resulting in hundreds of running footwear shops being robbed. @@NAME@@ 's police force has requested that they be allowed to ride @@ANIMAL@@s as a substitute for their inability to chase these athletic thugs on foot.

The Debate
1. "It's brilliant, if you ask me," says portly Police Chief @@RANDOMNAME@@ while enjoying a doughnut break. "Chasing criminals on foot is so tiresome now that we can't have our cars. If the government allowed Mounties, the entire process would be so much easier. We wouldn't even need to put handcuffs on suspects, since we'd just trample 'em down!"

2. "It's a good idea, but we can solve this using a much more direct approach," muses a tanned off-duty cop. "I mean, why bother with animals when you can still allow cars? I agree cars should be banned for the public, but we policemen need them. Besides, it's MUCH more fun to run over criminals with cars than @@ANIMAL@@s."

3. "You wimps are a disgrace!" bellows lycra-clad gym instructor @@RANDOMNAME@@. "You don't need cars or @@ANIMAL@@s to keep up. It's about time someone whipped the lot of you into shape. Give me four hours a day with these pansies and I'll have them catching criminals in no time at all. Now drop and give me twenty!"
Last edited by Riasy on Thu Jun 26, 2014 9:33 am, edited 2 times in total.
Charter Member of The Democratic Socialist Assembly

Generation 34 (The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.)
98% of all Internet users would cry if Anonymous hacked Facebook. If you are part of that 2% who simply would sit back and laugh, copy and paste this into your sig.

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Rejistania
Senator
 
Posts: 3607
Founded: Antiquity
Ex-Nation

Postby Rejistania » Thu Jun 26, 2014 12:02 pm

#358 Not Another Teen Pregnancy
The Issue

An investigation into a string of under-aged pregnancies in Sike Kali has uncovered a new trend where babies are lauded as the latest 'must-have accessory' for teenage girls. Parents across Rejistania are demanding that the government intervene to put a stop to this emerging fad.
The Debate

1. "Children shouldn't be having children", wails @@RANDOMNAME@@, a self-described concerned mother, who also happens to be President of the Sike Kali Chapter of Concerned Rejistanian Mothers. "Babies! That's all they are - babies! It's all this government's fault for having such a liberal age of consent. It's encouraging our babies to have sex! It's just terrifying. Please, increase the age of consent. You know in your heart that it's the right thing to do."

2. "If anything, those Concerned Mothers are the problem!" exclaims your eccentric Minister for Youth Affairs @@RANDOMNAME@@. "I mean, really, the youngsters of today are proving themselves to be excellent parents and quite capable of living with the consequences. We have to prepare them for adult life, and adult life includes minding children! We should actually decrease the age of consent so even more children can begin bracing themselves for the harsh reality of life as a working, tax-paying, family-loving adult."

3. "I have a better idea", says @@RANDOMNAME@@, CEO of 'Children 4 U' Inc. "How about we ban all forms of sexual conduct and have all newborns neutered? I know it's radical, but people will calm down once they learn that we can create their perfect child. This is the way of the future - Design Your Own Baby! And if the government gets involved, think of the money you'll make back off it. That's a great deal Kenlentine'ny Mje'he, trust me."

An investigation into a string of under-aged pregnancies in Sike Kali has uncovered a new trend where babies are lauded as the latest 'must-have accessory' for teenage girls. Parents across Rejistania are demanding that the government intervene to put a stop to this emerging fad.
The Debate

"Children shouldn't be having children", wails Miranda Schultz, a self-described concerned mother, who also happens to be President of the Sike Kali Chapter of Concerned Rejistanian Mothers. "Babies! That's all they are - babies! It's all this government's fault for having such a liberal age of consent. It's encouraging our babies to have sex! It's just terrifying. Please, increase the age of consent. You know in your heart that it's the right thing to do."

"If anything, those Concerned Mothers are the problem!" exclaims your eccentric Minister for Youth Affairs Gertie Broadside. "I mean, really, the youngsters of today are proving themselves to be excellent parents and quite capable of living with the consequences. We have to prepare them for adult life, and adult life includes minding children! We should actually decrease the age of consent so even more children can begin bracing themselves for the harsh reality of life as a working, tax-paying, family-loving adult."

"I have a better idea", says Lucas Wall, CEO of 'Children 4 U' Inc. "How about we ban all forms of sexual conduct and have all newborns neutered? I know it's radical, but people will calm down once they learn that we can create their perfect child. This is the way of the future - Design Your Own Baby! And if the government gets involved, think of the money you'll make back off it. That's a great deal Kenlentine'ny Mje'he, trust me."

Issue by: The United Empire of Valrifell
Editor: Sanctaria
Last edited by Rejistania on Thu Jun 26, 2014 4:01 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Rejis sjiki, linux sjiki, alari sjiki, korona sjiki!
Forever united, forever free, forever in justice, forever prospering!


"Tekneluru mi'aru mi aji, il'sidekhir'ra mi, lajistas. Mi'ki'vasu kynha'het kijitax." Hank͜hila Sede, first lentine (translation: A dream is only a dream until it is reached. After that, it becomes something trivial)

Headlines from the Na~ovi Nanti: Hetkali election ended in no candidate over 2% hurdle - Syku I Jai fired as coach of Aetaila Seli, youth coach Hea I Juien takes over reins of club - Rising number of fairy penguins in Sumumusumu and neighboring islands


This person is pro-EU and proud of it! They are also a Eurofederalist and want the Federated States of Europe!

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Andacantra
Diplomat
 
Posts: 570
Founded: Jul 01, 2010
Ex-Nation

Re: NationStates Issues **SPOILER ALERT**

Postby Andacantra » Fri Jun 27, 2014 1:22 am

Right; I've seen the new issues and also the change to add national denonyms. I'm going to sit down later and deal with both.
Abbey
Chief Kitty of the Cat Burglars
Bi-gameplayers: Raiding and defending because both are fun and ok
Nationstates Issues **SPOILER ALERT**

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Nation of Quebec
Powerbroker
 
Posts: 8217
Founded: Jan 19, 2006
Liberal Democratic Socialists

Postby Nation of Quebec » Fri Jun 27, 2014 5:22 pm

Just received this new one of my own today.

#359 Got Democracy?

The Issue

As waves of pro-democracy protests continue in @@REGION@@, with several actually toppling long-standing regimes, your advisers fear the protests could soon hit @@NAME@@. An emergency conference has been called to discuss the looming crisis.

The Debate

1. "We must crack down hard on all rebels who dare to betray our beloved nation!" roars Lars Taffs, head of the @@NAME@@ State Police. "We must use whatever force is necessary to prevent these protests from happening here. Specifically that means roving death squads and informants monitoring all anti-government activity to shut them down before they revolt. So long as @@LEADER@@ is our ruler, treason shall never go unpunished!"

2. "Atrocities would only give these protesters more motivation to rebel," quickly counters Marleen King, your Propaganda Minister, while reading through socioeconomic figures. "Some of their complaints are worth looking into, if you don't want the wolves at the gates. Establish large-scale public works projects to lower unemployment and things will be back to normal in no time. We could hire people to build schools and health clinics and repair utilities. These protesters say they want a revolution, but I think you'll find they'll settle for a lot less."

3. "The people are angry and fed up with the system. If you want to stop the protests, you must give them exactly what they want!" dramatically declares a protester who somehow smuggled herself in through a food cart. "The time for real democracy is now!" Between screams of pain, as your bodyguards tackle her to the floor, she finishes, "By any means necessary!"

4. "After disposing of the trespasser, the meeting resumes. "We can't allow TRUE democracy. Do you really think that the people would pick a suitable replacement for you?" says Ivan Rubin, your most loyal bodyguard, while sharpening a halberd. "For all we know they'll elect some anarchist with an ax to grind! How about we let them vote, but we only permit reputable Party members to run? That gives the people the right to decide small matters, while making sure that critical issues are left to our Party veterans."

5. "I have an unorthodox way to solve this once and for all," suggests your questionably sane Interior Minister, playing with a chemistry set despite the gravity of the meeting. "Instead of all that 'populism,' why don't we infuse the water supply with, I dunno, sedatives or something?" He grins maniacally. "Imagine how easy it would be to control the citizenry! Put the right drugs in the water, and I'm sure you'd have zero dissidents. Think about it: you could abolish all those superfluous legislatures and make yourself @@NAME@@'s absolute ruler."

Issue By: Nation of Quebec
Edited By: Lenyo
Last edited by Nation of Quebec on Fri Jun 27, 2014 5:22 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Canadian, Left-of-Center, Cynic
Proud Atheist and Geek
All WA matters are handled by my WA puppet state of Velkia and the Islands
Please don't send me unsolicited telegrams.

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Andacantra
Diplomat
 
Posts: 570
Founded: Jul 01, 2010
Ex-Nation

Postby Andacantra » Tue Jul 01, 2014 2:16 pm

Right, updated to current, with (I think?!) the first use of @@DENONYM@@ to denote that setting.

I intend on re-writing my script so that it can pick up changes in issues in future, but for now this is what I have.
Abbey
Chief Kitty of the Cat Burglars
Bi-gameplayers: Raiding and defending because both are fun and ok
Nationstates Issues **SPOILER ALERT**

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JJ Place
Negotiator
 
Posts: 5051
Founded: Jul 30, 2008
Ex-Nation

Postby JJ Place » Wed Jul 09, 2014 10:03 pm

New Issue!

#360 Electile Dysfunction

The Issue

Stung by an extensive exposé in The @@CAPITAL@@ Tattler of faulty and corrupt elections processes, certain Members of Parliament are loudly demanding that the Electoral Commission of @@NAME@@ revisit the current voting system.

The Debate

1."What's wrong with a plurality voting system?" rhetorically questions @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Count the votes, and the candidate with the most wins. It's the simplest and cheapest methodology, and it creates a stable two-party system without any radicals wasting Parliament's precious time. What more could you want? And..." the MP leans forward and continues in a hushed tone, "It's the best way to ensure our party stays in power indefinitely."

2."Our current electoral system needs only a little tweaking," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, a member of the Electoral Commission. "Why don't we adopt instant-runoff voting? That way people can vote for their favorite candidates plus their second and third choices without worrying whether they're mainstream enough. We'll need to hire a few more people at the Electoral Commission to tally the rounds of votes, but honestly I don't see that as a problem."

3."Now is the time to completely overhaul the electoral system!" cries @@RANDOMNAME@@, chairperson of a single-issue political party dedicated to legalizing @@ANIMAL@@ wrestling. "We need proportional representation now! If we adopt party-list proportional representation with open lists, political minorities will gain seats relative to the popular vote and actually have a voice. The centrists have dictated government policy for too long; let the political fringes speak!"

4."You're missing the whole point of democracy," argues a strange woman wearing a toga. "Democracy is about equality! The best system of representation is sortition. Go back to the ancient way of doing things and pick representatives from among the common citizens through allotment. People who run for political office are usually untrustworthy and power-hungry. Randomly-selected citizens will make far better decisions than greedy politicians, even if they're a little incompetent. Lottocracy all the way!"

5."Or we could just do away with this populist sham," sneers Sir @@RANDOMNAME@@, a landed gentleman. "Do the teeming masses really need to complicate our lives? Institute a steep poll tax to keep workers from voting, and we won't be troubled by the greedy plebeians and their insatiable desire for more welfare. Cut the entire welfare budget while you're at it, and respectable people like us can have a nice tax cut."

Issue by: The Most Holy and Grand Empire of Christian Democrats
Editor: Lenyo
Last edited by JJ Place on Wed Jul 09, 2014 10:13 pm, edited 2 times in total.
The price of cheese is eternal Vignotte.
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Nexexen
Bureaucrat
 
Posts: 42
Founded: Dec 14, 2007
Conservative Democracy

Postby Nexexen » Fri Jul 11, 2014 9:56 am

#363 The Apotheosis of @@LEADER@@?

The Issue

A period of unprecedented peace and prosperity in @@NAME@@ has seen your personal approval rate sky-rocket. Recently, a small but growing movement has emerged claiming that these general good times are the result of your divine favour, and are advocating that the people worship you as a god.

The Debate

1. "All hail the glorious @@LEADER@@, giver of safety and wealth!" shouts @@RANDOMNAME@@, the Prefect of the Cult of Divine Nationalism from atop a wooden crate in @@CAPITAL@@ Grand Plaza. "Are not the might and benevolence of the holy @@LEADER@@ manifest for all to see? Should we not respond in humble worship? Proclaim your divinity before all, O Great One, and your people shall listen!"

2. "This is heresy!" pontificates @@RANDOMNAME@@, a high-ranking clergywoman of @@RELIGION@@, while proffering a collection plate. "Surely you can't seriously be entertaining delusions of divinity? You would undoubtedly bring divine wrath upon us! I urge you, speak out against these wayward souls and endorse the teachings of our holy writ as the true path to righteousness. Only then can we be assured of continued providence."

3. "Let's not be too hasty now, there may be an opportunity in this," muses @@RANDOMNAME@@, one of your shrewdest political advisors. "Of course you're not divine, we both know that, but is there really any harm in letting these whack-jobs think you are? Nothing begets obedience like the command of one's god, after all. Perhaps a carefully constructed public statement is in order, one that gives legitimacy to these people's beliefs while avoiding claiming divinity outright. Let people read into it what they want, and if they flock to this 'religion' in droves, well, would it really be so terrible if a large percentage of @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ became your devoted disciples?

4. "Bah! Ridiculous gobbledygook, all of it!" says @@RANDOMNAME@@, controversial atheist author of the book 'Atoms in Space and Relations Between Them - An Exhaustive Account of Existence'. "These cultists are no crazier than any other religious types, and have done far less damage than some I might mention. Take this opportunity to disavow all religion as superstitious nonsense, and throw your support behind reason instead. It's the perfect opportunity to end the tax breaks for people with imaginary friends, and funnel that additional money into the areas it can do some real good, like authors of popular science books!"

5. "All hail our glorious @@LEADER@@... or face eternal punishment!" shouts a wide-eyed bearded man in sack cloth waving a greasy tract. "Pay no heed to these sectarians, my liege, they have departed from the way of truth! Only we, of the Cult of Nationalist Divinity, have remained faithful in the face of their slanderous impiety. We know you to be an uncompromising and demanding god, intolerant of all false doctrine. We stand ready to convert the masses to your worship, by force if necessary! Starting, of course, with the insufferable heretics of the Cult of Divine Nationalism!"

Issue by: The tovian way
Editor: Sedgistan
Last edited by Nexexen on Fri Jul 11, 2014 9:59 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Nexexen
Bureaucrat
 
Posts: 42
Founded: Dec 14, 2007
Conservative Democracy

Postby Nexexen » Fri Jul 11, 2014 9:58 am

Don't know how we're doing differentiation on the demonym macros for plural, noun, and adjectival. I just did @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@.
Last edited by Nexexen on Fri Jul 11, 2014 8:30 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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Riasy
Attaché
 
Posts: 94
Founded: Dec 24, 2012
Ex-Nation

Postby Riasy » Sun Jul 13, 2014 10:49 am

New issue, and this one is using the Demonyms! Unfortunately, to represent it correctly I was forced to invent two new Variables:

@@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@: I have followed Nexexen’s example and used this Variable to demonstrate that this issue is using the Demonym (adjective), not the Demonym (noun) or Demonym (plural).
@@DEMONYMADJECTIVEINITIALS@@: Initials of @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@.



#361: @@CAPITAL@@, We Have A Problem [Luna Amore; ed:Sanctaria]

The Issue
Early this morning, the Space Shuttle Maxcelsior suffered serious damage from an explosion of unknown causes. The @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ Aeronautics and Space Administration is divided as to what to do.

The Debate
1. "We're going to take a hit on this no matter what", your Press Secretary moans morosely. "The more news cycles this one takes up, the worse we're going to look. Tell @@DEMONYMADJECTIVEINITIALS@@ASA to get our boys back on the ground NOW. They're going to whine about pushing safety margins to the limit, but there's always going to be a risk! Those space cowboys knew that when they signed on. We're simply out of options, @@LEADER@@."

2. "We most certainly are not out of options", counters the mission's Flight Director, @@RANDOMNAME@@. "We have no idea how much damage that explosion caused. There's a very good chance it blew right through the heat shield. If that happened, and they try to come back without fixing it, they'll be toast. I know for a fact that the military has been working on a quick-launch low-Earth orbiter. If we refit it as a rescue vehicle and launch now, we can have them down safely by the weekend."

3. "Are you out of your mind!?" screams Major General @@RANDOMNAME@@ while taking a swing at the Flight Director. "That spacecraft is top secret. Want me to slow it down for you? Top. Secret. You want to use it in a high-profile, never before done space rescue? Why don't we mail its damn blueprints to all our enemies! @@LEADER@@, it is imperative that we keep that craft a secret at all costs. God knows what the Bigtopians would do with it. As for the astronauts, let them find their own ride home. We're not the only country with a space program you know."

4. "You reap what you sow", chastises Reverend @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Tell me, what happened when the people of Babel tried to build a tower to God? He destroyed it and punished them. This shuttle is simply a modern day Tower of Babel in spades. You mocked God with your pride, tried to defile his celestial kingdom with your sinful machines, and now you will pay the price. Forget these lost souls, abandon the space program and repent your sins."
Last edited by Riasy on Thu Jul 24, 2014 5:16 pm, edited 3 times in total.
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Ballotonia
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Postby Ballotonia » Sun Jul 13, 2014 11:59 am

Note the spelling: Demonym ;)

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Riasy
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Postby Riasy » Sun Jul 13, 2014 8:50 pm

Ballotonia wrote:Note the spelling: Demonym ;)

Ballotonia

You are absolutely right! I will edit my post. But into my defense I have to say that I was misled by the fact that Andacantra also misspelled this word.
Andacantra wrote:@@DENONYM@@: Nation denonym (from settings)
Last edited by Riasy on Sun Jul 13, 2014 8:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Andacantra
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Postby Andacantra » Mon Jul 14, 2014 2:03 pm

Ooops >.> I will add/change/fix everything in the morning, I'm not ignoring it.
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Golgothastan
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Postby Golgothastan » Tue Jul 15, 2014 1:13 am

I got "Not Another Teen Pregnancy", but it contains a fourth option not listed here.
"I think sterilising the population is a little extreme", your civil service's Chief Medical Officer states candidly. "But we do need to stop these teenage pregnancies and, let's face it, sex education just isn't going to cut it. These are teenagers, their hormones are all over the place, and regardless of what we preach about abstinence, they're going to have sex. I would suggest offering a monetary incentive to encourage pregnant teenage girls to attend our termination clinics. Sounds distasteful, but the only thing these girls care about is the money to spend on the next big fad. Girls don't like babies, girls like cars and money."

I'm wondering if this is an example of option validity Sanctaria mentioned - or, have I missed something?

My nation has legalised abortion: so perhaps this option, given it mentions "our termination clinics", is only valid for nations with legal abortion.
Last edited by Golgothastan on Tue Jul 15, 2014 1:16 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Sanctaria
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Postby Sanctaria » Tue Jul 15, 2014 6:44 am

Golgothastan wrote:I got "Not Another Teen Pregnancy", but it contains a fourth option not listed here.
"I think sterilising the population is a little extreme", your civil service's Chief Medical Officer states candidly. "But we do need to stop these teenage pregnancies and, let's face it, sex education just isn't going to cut it. These are teenagers, their hormones are all over the place, and regardless of what we preach about abstinence, they're going to have sex. I would suggest offering a monetary incentive to encourage pregnant teenage girls to attend our termination clinics. Sounds distasteful, but the only thing these girls care about is the money to spend on the next big fad. Girls don't like babies, girls like cars and money."

I'm wondering if this is an example of option validity Sanctaria mentioned

It is.
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