Sound Judgement
Description:
At a recent international sporting event, Bigtopian fans proudly sung their national anthem: "Bigger And Cleverer". Meanwhile, different parts of the @@DENONYMNOUNPLURAL@@ crowd each sang half a dozen different tunes, highlighting the fact that @@NAME@@ still doesn't have an official national anthem.
Validity:
Population 1 billion
Options:
[option]"We used to have a grand old national anthem," says retired veteran and military historian @@RANDOMNAME@@, "but the moralising minority got rid of it just because it's got the odd reference to raising a flag of glory stained in the blood of the enemy. That was wrong! It was a strong, rousing tune that saw a nation united! It was a proud tune for a proud people! Bring back 'The Battle Anthem of the @@ANIMAL@@'!"
[effect]the national anthem inspires proudly patriotic people to literally spit at foreigners.
[stats]happiness increases, inclusiveness decreases, pacifism decreases, niceness decreases, rudeness increases, defence spending increases, industry: arms manufacturing increases, weaponisation increases
[option]"Are we defined by our armies, or by our faith?" says choralist @@RANDOMMALENAME@@, adopting his favourite holier-than-thou smug expression, "We do indeed have an old anthem to use: it is a hymn giving thanks for one people under @@FAITH@@. Use your anthem to lift your prayers to the kingdom above, and to tell the world that you are a holy nation!"
[effect]the national anthem is considered broadly offensive to those not of the national religion
[stats]inclusiveness decreases, religion increases, social conservatism increases
[option]"That's not what @@NAME@@ is in our modern age," says avant-garde composer @@RANDOMMALENAME@@, handing you a caffeine-free herbal infusion to sip, "We're pan-cultural nation of pan-humanity. We're looking longingly to a future of harmony and peace. I've composed an audiotheatrical tribute to the brotherhood and sisterhood of all living things, with whalesong, echoing voices in ethnic local dialects and the joyful laugh of a newborn babe. The whole thing is six hours, but you can just use the main refrain for official occasions. That's your new national anthem. I call it 'The Peace of @@NAME@@.'"
[effect]the national anthem makes listeners feel calm, serene and really, really bored
[stats]compassion increases, niceness increases, pacifism increases, eco-friendliness increases, economy decreases, rudeness decreases, safety from crime increases
[option]"Riiiiight. A six hour national anthem? He can definitely 'PEACE OFF'!" says annoying pun-spitting radio DJ @@RANDOMNAME@@, "Of CHORUS we need something catchier and poppier. We shouldn't be aVERSE to a bit of JINGLEISM. Why not let the listeners vote for an anthem? You could call it... COUNTRY'S music. Ha ha, I'm so funny!"
[effect]the national anthem is changed weekly to match the billboard number one pop song
[stats]political freedom increases a little, stupidity increases a little
[option]"Why give away something that could be sold?" says @@MAJORINDUSTRY@@ bigwig @@RANDOMNAME@@, "Sell anthem-composing rights to the highest bidder on a yearly basis and you've got yourself an excellent new source of government revenue. Alright, so we might be looking at a little bit of targeted advertising from this at sports events and government shindigs, but how is that any different from the odd billboard or TV spot? If it is good for the economy then it is good for @@NAME@@! Am I right?"
[effect]the national anthem is a sung advertisement for great, great shopping deals
[stats]business subsidisation increases a little, taxation increases, income tax falls, economic freedom increases, economy increases a little
[option]"The nation is you, dear leader." says propaganda minister @@RANDOMNAME@@, "and you are the nation! An anthem should sing your praises and be entitled 'Ode To @@LEADER@@'. We can work on the words and the tune later: the important thing is the subject matter."
[effect]disrespectful foreign satirists mock the national anthem
[stats]political freedom decreases, authoritarianism increases, youth rebellion decreases
[option]"The subject isn't the important thing," says snobby classical composer @@RANDOMNAME@@, "and indeed we don't really have to have words for the plebs to sing along to either. The important thing here is that we create a modern masterpiece of musical composition. This must be an orchestral piece that stands the test of time. We need a magnum opus that will raise the spirits .We require music that tells the world exactly what is in the soul of a @@DENONYMNOUN@@. Assemble a symposium of the nation's greatest composers and assemble an orchestra of the finest classical musicians. Give us a year and a budget. We will give to you a National Symphony that will last forever."
[effect]the National Symphony reduces men to tears with its beauty and the treasury to tears with how much it cost
[stats]culture increases, social inequality increases, wealth inequality increases, culture spending increases
