#009: @@ANIMAL@@ On The Dinner Table?
1. "The fact is, the @@ANIMAL@@ population is out of control," says Beef-Based Agriculture spokesperson Jamil Johnson. "We have to do something about them anyway, so why not market them as tasty snacks? We could have @@ANIMAL@@ kebabs, @@ANIMAL@@ pies, @@ANIMAL@@ -on-a-sticks--the possibilities are endless! Let's not pass up this golden opportunity to provide a feast, if you will, for our economy."
Result: @@ANIMAL@@ are considered a delicacy.
2. "I agree that something needs to be done about @@ANIMAL@@ over-population," says random passer-by Colin Falopian, "but eating them? That's kind of gross. Let's just shoot the ones we have to and shovel their bodies into ditches like normal."
Result: a nation-wide cull of @@ANIMAL@@s is in effect.
3. "I am shocked and appalled!" declared SPCA President Wil Winters. "If anyone needs to be culled, it's us humans. The @@ANIMAL@@ were here first, remember? We need to take this as a sign to get our industry--agriculture in particular--to back off. The @@ANIMAL@@ is part of what makes @@NAME@@ a great nation!"
Result: the @@ANIMAL@@ is a protected species