The Lazarene Gazette - Delegates arrive for Conference!

[Aperi]

These class-traitors must be educated in the Enlightenment Schools of Aperi.

[The Lazarene Gazette II]

King Ikania Promises Education Reform



King Ikania, currently on holiday in Osiris

Osiris

From his monarchist stronghold in Osiris, King Ikania the First called for educational reform upon his inevitable return to rule Lazarus. "As can be seen in the events of the last few days, the educational system in Lazarus is badly broken. When the People's Republic eventually comes crashing down, I will do everything in my power to fix our schools. Just like Al Gore with his No Child Left Behind Act, I refuse to allow the subpar standards of eduction that exist in Lazarus. After I am restored to my rightful place as First Lazarene, I will work to repair our schools, similar to how Bismarck repaired the alliance system in Europe to prevent wars." When an aide whispered in his ear that it had been George Bush, not Al Gore, who had supported the No Child Left Behind Act, Ikania used this as an example of the poor inter-family teaching happening in Lazarus, saying that "my father told me that."

His Majesty then responded to criticism from Lazarenes over his vacationing habits. The King was known to leave Lazarus at the slightest hint of criticism, often for months on end. Ikania claims that customs officials refused to allow him back into his region, a claim that is preposterous considering he could presumably just "order the peasants to open the gates" in the words of one of his aides. Despite this, Ikania claims that he knew that he wasn't welcome in Lazarus. "When the street urchins started throwing mud at my gilded carriage, I knew that I was about to be executed," he said. "I can realize patterns when they occur. Everyone knows that that is how the French Revolution started, and how did that end up for King George III?"

The King said that he plans to return when "the People's Republic inevitably implodes, then explodes, then implodes again." He said he is counting on "strong diplomatic pressure from my servants in Osiris" in order to "cause Funkadelia to spontaneously combust." He went on to say that he knows that his "subjects will faithfully pray for my speedy return, because they will be much better off with Lazarus as a destroyed wasteland." He added, "At least then Funkadelia won't be there." Ikania concluded by comparing himself to another English royalist, saying "I expect my struggle will end similar to that of the Bonnie Prince Charlie" before disappearing into the Apartments from which he currently holds court.

[Cormac A Stark]

So this is how the People's Republic deals with internal squabbling: First, drive dissent from the region. Then, use the state media of the Lazarene dictatorship to mock the dissenters.

It's no wonder so many people are leaving.

Whether we agree with Ikania on everything or not, we're glad to have him in Osiris. I guess that's the difference between a democracy and a dictatorship, at the end of the day. We want a growing, vibrant community and you want an ever shrinking echo chamber. I wonder what Lazarus will look like as you continue to deal with internal disputes the only way you know how, by pushing people away.

Good luck with that.

[Consular]

Honestly, this article strikes me as slightly too close to bullying for my tastes.

[Cormac A Stark]

Honestly, this article strikes me as slightly too close to bullying for my tastes.

Don't be silly. Only the ebil raiders and "imps" can be bullies. It's all in the Fauxmmunist Manifesto.

I'm sure the Chairman's secret police have a reeducation camp that will set you straight.

[Applebania]

Yeah... This is below the usual standards of humour. Seems unfunny to me.

[V I Lenin]

Oh please, it is a light jest.

Considering the vitriol that has been sent Lazarus' way recently by some individuals, I find criticising of this mild humour, frankly, ridiculous.

[Cormac A Stark]

The "vitriol" is directed at a region, by another region. When individuals have been mentioned at all, it has been in the context of interregional politics and relations.

By contrast, this entire article singles out an individual for personal attack, not even based on anything political but based on a mean-spirited attack on his intelligence and/or level of education. It's somehow even more childish than last night's "lol k" spam, which is hard to do.

This isn't the school yard and Ikania isn't the last person picked to play on Team Red. It's a political simulation. Start acting like it or stop wasting everyone else's time. Grow up.

[V I Lenin]

Grow up? From you, I find that a little bit rich.

Actually, I have received a large amount of it from Ike myself. I have been accussed of being a spy and had personal attacks on me, but I haven't cried about it.

In terms of the article, it is not mean-spirited, it is completely in jest. It would be mean-spirited if it was taken seriously as a real article, but it isn't.

[Solorni]

There have been a disturbing amount of personal attacks from lazarus. You should see what they say in their irc. It's bizarre when people take the game as seriously as they do.

[V I Lenin]

Errrr.

I have been there and I haven't seen any so called 'personal' attacks - what are you referring to?

[Venico of Venico]

I...I'm all for pushing this war to the max and destroying the shit out of each other but this just sort of strikes out a little too beyond the screen for me. :/ Maybe Ikania can take a joke better than I can but this to me is just a tad too personal for my liking.

[Solorni]

Errrr.

I have been there and I haven't seen any so called 'personal' attacks - what are you referring to?

I will Tg you when I get home.

[Kogvuron]

I apologize to Ikania if this offends him, it was not my intent to hurt his feelings or to mock him personally, simply to mock some of the arguments that he has employed (i.e. his certainty that the PRL will fall).

[Venico of Venico]

I apologize to Ikania if this offends him, it was not my intent to hurt his feelings or to mock him personally, simply to mock some of the arguments that he has employed (i.e. his certainty that the PRL will fall).

Fair enough I suppose, just the making him say inaccurate statements that reflect poorly on his intelligence (without him actually saying them) make me shift in my chair uncomfortably.

[Kogvuron]

I apologize to Ikania if this offends him, it was not my intent to hurt his feelings or to mock him personally, simply to mock some of the arguments that he has employed (i.e. his certainty that the PRL will fall).

Fair enough I suppose, just the making him say inaccurate statements that reflect poorly on his intelligence (without him actually saying them) make me shift in my chair uncomfortably.

Well, he has repeatedly used arguments with major historical inaccuracies (both RL and NS), at least three or four times by my count. It was meant to mock those arguments and the poor standing behind them, not his RL intelligence, which I know nothing about. Presumably if he is playing this game, Ike is a fairly smart fellow.

[Karpathos]

There have been a disturbing amount of personal attacks from lazarus. You should see what they say in their irc. It's bizarre when people take the game as seriously as they do.

Do you realize how utterly ironic this is coming from you of all people?

[Alterran Republic]

There have been a disturbing amount of personal attacks from lazarus. You should see what they say in their irc. It's bizarre when people take the game as seriously as they do.

Do you realize how utterly ironic this is coming from you of all people?

The Balder IRC doesn't have rampant attacks on people. I can't speak for #osi, but #balder is thankfully clean of such nonsense.

[Kazmr]

How in God's name is pointing out that someone who you have made one of the main basis' of your declaration of war, and the most constantly running refrain for your entire argument, has time and again put his foot firmly in mouth malicious? After his own personal attacks on Funk time and again since he left the region, a satirical rebuttal is surely warranted. If you're going to prop up Ikania as some sort of martyr, unjustly persecuted by Funk and others, we're well within our right to prove how mistaken you are.

It's no wonder so many people are leaving.

I can't for the life of me understand how this has become your refrain over the last couple days.

Over the last few weeks, we have had six individuals leave Lazarus.

One is DYP's main, who has made it abundantly clear that this has nothing to do with the current spat and who has even stated that he'll be putting his WA in to support Funk.

One is Hobbes, and any issue there was between us was settled civily several days back, and both sides have made it clear that any anyone attempting to use this to score political points is simply a vulture as it has nothing to do with the matter at hand.

Two are Applebania and Tano, who are dual citizens of Lazarus and Osiris and who have resigned from both as they want to stay out of the war.

The other two are Llamas and Ikania, whose departure I have addressed a dozen times by now and don't intend to pointlessly readdress again.

So essentially, you have had two people leave both regions because they don't care about the war started by Osiris, and two who left the region of their own accord because, as Ikania said himself, they couldn't mold the region into the image they desired and were bored.

In that same time we've had three new citizens and two return.

Where is this appalling rate of attrition I keep hearing about?

[Tano]

"Two are Applebania and Tano, who are dual citizens of Lazarus and Osiris and who have resigned from both as they want to stay out of the war."
Kinda pointless for me to say this, but I just wanted to confirm this is indeed true. I plan on *hopefully* joining up in both again once this silly business gets over with.

[Cormac A Stark]

How in God's name is pointing out that someone who you have made one of the main basis' of your declaration of war, and the most constantly running refrain for your entire argument, has time and again put his foot firmly in mouth malicious?

I think perhaps you should actually read our declaration of war, if you believe Ikania is the "main basis" of it.

After his own personal attacks on Funk time and again since he left the region, a satirical rebuttal is surely warranted. If you're going to prop up Ikania as some sort of martyr, unjustly persecuted by Funk and others, we're well within our right to prove how mistaken you are.

Sure, but you're just making yourselves look worse and gaining him sympathy by going after him on personal grounds related to his intelligence and education. That doesn't have anything to do with NationStates.

By all means, feel free to continue to do that, I guess. The only reason I said anything is because I would prefer not to see him treated that way, but I can't stop you. If you want to keep digging when you're already in a hole, that's up to you.

It's no wonder so many people are leaving.

I can't for the life of me understand how this has become your refrain over the last couple days.

Over the last few weeks, we have had six individuals leave Lazarus.

That's a decent number of people, and there is also the matter of who is leaving. You've lost DYP, who has been a fixture in Lazarus since longer than either of us have been playing the game. You've lost Hobbes, who did more for your community than probably anyone other than Milograd has done. And you've lost Llamas and Ikania, both of whom were active and contributing citizens whose activity you now won't have because you can't handle dissent.

On the other hand, if it is your contention that the loss of active citizens isn't an issue and you don't care if people leave -- well, all right then.

[Kazmr]

Your declaration of war does not cite the Ikania and Llamas matter directly, but it does refer several times to Lazarus as being some sort of threat to a free and democratic world, and their leaving the region has been held up as some sort of prime example by every publication supporting your war, as well as in statements made by your Vizier and signed as such in an official capacity, as well as in numerous debates with you.

If it has nothing to do with justifying your war, why do you continue to pursue it? Because, simply put, it does, and my own comments and those of other PRL members are simply demonstrating the fact that you have been holding up the argument of and welcoming into your legislature someone whose point of view is terribly skewed.

Your insinuation was that 'so many citizens' were leaving because of some perceived cruelty of our region's government. I was merely pointing out that that is either a blatant lie or merely uninformed ignorance. Of course, now that you've twisted your argument again in order to evade admitting that you were wrong, simply because any such admission is simply unthinkable to you.

[Funkadelia]

And you've lost Llamas and Ikania, both of whom were active and contributing citizens whose activity you now won't have because you can't handle dissent.

On the other hand, if it is your contention that the loss of active citizens isn't an issue and you don't care if people leave -- well, all right then.

It's not that at all. They just couldn't handle being told "no." DYP has stated numerous times that his leaving, albeit ill timed, has nothing to do with the direction of the PRL. He is still endorsing me. The fact that you still have to use that argument around here just shows how far down to the bottom of the barrel you have to scrape to try to discredit us.

[Ikania]

Alright, alright, calm down.

Honestly Kog, I found that article hilarious. But it wasn't any less offensive, and I'd like you to refrain from falling below such standards again.

Now, I still haven't been corrected on where I went wrong with King Charles. Honestly.

Honestly, this article strikes me as slightly too close to bullying for my tastes.

It's certainly light-hearted though.

Honestly, this article strikes me as slightly too close to bullying for my tastes.

Don't be silly. Only the ebil raiders and "imps" can be bullies. It's all in the Fauxmmunist Manifesto.

I'm sure the Chairman's secret police have a reeducation camp that will set you straight.

You know, during my time in Lazarus, Llamas informed me of this thing called the Lazarene Security Directorate, headed by Kaz or Milo. Apparently they're the ones who 'figured out' Lenny was a spy. Still don't know who's in it.

I...I'm all for pushing this war to the max and destroying the shit out of each other but this just sort of strikes out a little too beyond the screen for me. :/ Maybe Ikania can take a joke better than I can but this to me is just a tad too personal for my liking.

Yes, I can take a joke. But please, call me his Majesty King Charlie of Ikania, first Duke of Osiris and Conqueror of the Lazarenes. Or Ike. Ike works.

I apologize to Ikania if this offends him, it was not my intent to hurt his feelings or to mock him personally, simply to mock some of the arguments that he has employed (i.e. his certainty that the PRL will fall).

No problem, m8.

Fair enough I suppose, just the making him say inaccurate statements that reflect poorly on his intelligence (without him actually saying them) make me shift in my chair uncomfortably.

Well, he has repeatedly used arguments with major historical inaccuracies (both RL and NS), at least three or four times by my count. It was meant to mock those arguments and the poor standing behind them, not his RL intelligence, which I know nothing about. Presumably if he is playing this game, Ike is a fairly smart fellow.

Merci beaucoup, mon ami. <3

And you've lost Llamas and Ikania, both of whom were active and contributing citizens whose activity you now won't have because you can't handle dissent.

On the other hand, if it is your contention that the loss of active citizens isn't an issue and you don't care if people leave -- well, all right then.

It's not that at all. They just couldn't handle being told "no." DYP has stated numerous times that his leaving, albeit ill timed, has nothing to do with the direction of the PRL. He is still endorsing me. The fact that you still have to use that argument around here just shows how far down to the bottom of the barrel you have to scrape to try to discredit us.

Or maybe you just couldn't stand having people trying to 'undermine' your power with a fantastic new concept called democracy.

[Hobbesistan]

I don't think I can express how much I don't care.


*shrug*