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Wednesday, June 11, 2014:
HOW MILOGRAD PLANS TO FUCK YOUR FAMILY
Recently some people in Osiris pitched a fit and closed the embassy with Lazarus. Some stuff was said in private chats, some people got mad, and things are pretty much the same as they've been for the past few years. I should probably go read whatever Osiris posted regarding this decision.
Okay. I read the announcement. Cormac said some cool stuff about how Osiris was going to be tough. He threw a lot of words together in an articulate fashion. He says a lot of stuff about acts of aggression and allies and hostility and whatever. A dude posted a clappy face afterwards. Not bad.
Before I wrote this I decided to talk to Lazarus delegate Milograd about stuff that was happening. This is what he had to say.
[12:16:10 AM] AMOM: sup fool
[12:16:15 AM] AMOM: this is an interview
[12:16:18 AM] AMOM: so be like
[12:16:20 AM] AMOM: formal and shit
[12:16:37 AM] AMOM: I'm playing from the sidelines here; in all honesty, I have no fucking idea what's going on
[12:16:46 AM] AMOM: give me the scoop: what is happening between Osi and Laz?
[12:16:53 AM] AMOM: you're still delegate of Laz, right?
[12:18:45 AM] milograd: Okay.
[12:18:45 AM] milograd: Hello.
[12:18:46 AM] milograd: Nah.
[12:18:46 AM] milograd: And Osiris just closed relations because we're plotting to invade Balder or something?
[12:19:20 AM] AMOM: tell me about your plans to invade Baldy
[12:21:03 AM] AMOM: sounds difficult, what with UIAF so entrenched there
[12:21:37 AM] milograd: Well, Cormac was right. The LLA -- a military that is currently constitutionally barred from invading -- was going to send troops into Balder and right up overthrow the regime. We're very sneaky like that.
[12:22:04 AM] milograd: And the State Council signed off on the invasion papers, we sent three non-WA puppets posing as TEK to carry out the deed.
[12:22:18 AM] milograd: We originally planned to do it on the anniversary of D-Day, but then we realized that we were 91 troops short.
[12:22:29 AM] milograd: So we cried ourselves to sleep and hit up the nearest liquore store.
[12:22:34 AM] milograd: Literally. We burned it down.
[12:22:47 AM] AMOM: that's fucking diabolical
[12:22:52 AM] AMOM: I didn't know you had the means to invade Balder
[12:22:57 AM] AMOM: wait a minute, never mind
[12:22:59 AM] AMOM: I wasn't reading
[12:23:05 AM] milograd: Now we are replanning our vicious invasion of Balder.
[12:23:36 AM] AMOM: I heard from an unnamed source that may or may not be Karpathos that you are planning to fuck everyone's family
[12:23:37 AM] milograd: Yep.
[12:24:04 AM] milograd: Also true.
[12:24:14 AM] milograd: We ordered the condoms en mass.
[12:24:26 AM] milograd: Karp is a very sly spy. I have no clue how he got an in at Amazon.
[12:24:35 AM] milograd: (I suppose the 54 gallons of lube may've been a giveaway.)
[12:24:41 AM] milograd: NONETHELESS.
[12:24:46 AM] AMOM: ever watched Whitest Kids You Know? I envision you doing things "Grapist" style
[12:24:50 AM] milograd: Our plans are not to be sidetracked.
[12:25:14 AM] milograd: I don't have a television because my region is too poor to afford one.
[12:25:16 AM] AMOM: no, I'm sure you're saving the fun for later
[12:25:29 AM] milograd: Oh my goodness gracious.
[12:25:31 AM] AMOM: well, I suppose Communism does come with a price
[12:25:45 AM] milograd: So does 54 gallons of lube.
[12:25:59 AM] milograd: And paying the proxy guys to help me multi.
[12:26:12 AM] AMOM: in all seriousness, though
[12:27:30 AM] AMOM: how does Laz even have the money for all that lube after buying all those votes for Feux during his last election
[12:27:50 AM] milograd: Stole them from Vik.
[12:27:53 AM] milograd: Of course.
[12:28:04 AM] milograd: Cut that. We stole them from the TNI Bank.
[12:28:15 AM] AMOM: Thought you meant the lube for a moment there.
[12:28:24 AM] AMOM: moving on...
[12:28:55 AM] AMOM: how do you plan to react to Osi's recent removal of your embassy in the FA/PR department?
[12:29:12 AM] AMOM: I personally would recommend writing a retort
[12:29:28 AM] milograd: I like that recommendation.
[12:29:39 AM] milograd: We should include factual logs that are retroactively denied.
[12:29:59 AM] milograd: It works for the UIAF.
[12:30:01 AM] AMOM: I thought those were the only kind
[12:30:45 AM] AMOM: just make sure you throw in enough text to drown Manhattan
[12:30:58 AM] AMOM: even if you get lost in it yourself, they'll be lost too
[12:31:10 AM] milograd: How did you find out about my desire to drown Manhattan?
[12:31:15 AM] milograd: Did I not deny my desire to?
[12:32:10 AM] AMOM: by NS logic, if you haven't denied it you were clearly involved
[12:32:19 AM] AMOM: also by NS logic, if you denied it you were also clearly involved
[12:32:53 AM] AMOM: I don't need to guess about your plans to drown Manhattan or take over Balder
[12:33:42 AM] AMOM: anyway yeah
[12:33:46 AM] AMOM: I have no idea what else to ask you
[12:33:51 AM] AMOM: sounds like NS is still happening
[12:34:09 AM] milograd: Barely.
[12:34:41 AM] AMOM: that was a given
[12:35:22 AM] AMOM: before we wrap up, has anything truly noteworthy happened lately?
[12:35:51 AM] milograd: NES spurred political and electoral renewal in Balder and postage stamp prices are increasing.
[12:36:12 AM] AMOM: excluding events where the same people yell at each other for the same unspoken reasons then each pretend they've won by posting FA updates that only they read
[12:36:30 AM] AMOM: wow, that's pretty exciting
[12:37:17 AM] AMOM: the postage stamps, that is; must be hard on the collectors
[12:38:04 AM] milograd: Indeed.
[12:39:06 AM] AMOM: well, I think that about wraps shit up
[12:39:40 AM] AMOM: hopefully I'm not blinded by redtext as a result of this
[12:40:31 AM] AMOM: peace out
[12:40:46 AM] AMOM: say something to smooth the transition here
[12:40:50 AM] milograd: One Love.
[12:40:51 AM] AMOM: I'm ending the interview
[12:40:56 AM] AMOM: Oh, fuck you
Then we talked a little bit more but you don't need to see that here. It was good, though. We had a good time.
So, yeah, pretty sure that wraps things up. Now you know exactly what is going on. Milograd is coming. Hide your wife, hide your kids, and hide your husband. Laz is after Balder. Osiris saved the day. UIAF. The Fishmonger's Finger: keeping you informed or something. Giving you the scoop. No. Helping you ... whatever. Fuck it. That's enough.
AMOM