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The Lazarene Gazette - First Broadsheet!

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Onderkelkia
Diplomat
 
Posts: 998
Founded: Aug 13, 2006
Corporate Police State

Postby Onderkelkia » Wed Oct 29, 2014 4:42 pm

Kazmr wrote:There's more in the article than just that, read the actual dialogue, the words themselves. I'm not going to go through line by line and point them out because that would defeat the purpose of the satire. There's a point to it, you just don't get it.

Naturally the article is cluttered with the notion that imperialists see defenders as colonial savages and behave like 19th-century equivalents. Obviously one does not accept that, hence why one obviously does not draw attention to the point in discussing your article - it is strange you expect me to do so.

That is however totally irrelevant, because the article suggests that TNI would add these regions to Schedule I and there is no basis to support this.

The mere presence of other material does not mitigate the misleading impression which you consciously and disingenuously seek to convey.

Kazmr wrote:That's fine. I'd just appreciate it, though, if you left it at that. You've made your case, no need to carry it further.

Evidently you are keen to close this discussion down.

If there is still a debate ongoing, then I have every right to consider the points which you have made.
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Nautarya
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Posts: 51
Founded: Jan 02, 2014
Ex-Nation

Postby Nautarya » Wed Oct 29, 2014 4:53 pm

Onderkelkia wrote:Naturally the article is cluttered with the notion that imperialists see defenders as colonial savages and behave like 19th-century equivalents.

Image

Are you being deliberately obtuse, or do you not understand that this is satire?
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Solorni
Minister
 
Posts: 3024
Founded: Sep 04, 2007
Ex-Nation

Postby Solorni » Wed Oct 29, 2014 5:09 pm

Maybe communists just aren't good at joking around? I seem to recall Reagan winning the comedy battles over Gorbachev (or whomever was the Russian leader at the time).


(Although I did think this article was funny)
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Kazmr
Chargé d'Affaires
 
Posts: 460
Founded: Aug 23, 2013
Ex-Nation

Postby Kazmr » Wed Oct 29, 2014 5:16 pm

In Communist Lazarus, joke tells you!

I'm sorry, it had to be said...
Last edited by Kazmr on Wed Oct 29, 2014 5:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Former Chairman of the Peoples Republic of Lazarus
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Onderkelkia
Diplomat
 
Posts: 998
Founded: Aug 13, 2006
Corporate Police State

Postby Onderkelkia » Wed Oct 29, 2014 5:36 pm

Nautarya wrote:
Onderkelkia wrote:Naturally the article is cluttered with the notion that imperialists see defenders as colonial savages and behave like 19th-century equivalents.


Are you being deliberately obtuse, or do you not understand that this is satire?

I've removed the image in your post from my reply.

On the contrary, my point had nothing to do with objecting to this element of the article (although I disagree with the point it is driving at).

The only reason I have gone to the trouble of describing this aspect is because Kazmr seemed to think it was an answer to my objection, which it is not.

I am objecting specifically to the section dealing which suggests that TNI would place Spiritus and Wintreath on the proscribed organisations list.
Emperor Emeritus of The Land of Kings and Emperors
King Emeritus of Norwood, etc.

Duke of Roskilde, of Balder

Archduke of Niso, of the LKE
Archduke, of The New Inquisition
Viscount, of Great Britain and Ireland
Honoured Citizen of Europeia
Emperor of the LKE
LKE Prime Minister
LKE Chief of the Imperial General Staff

Crown Prince of TNI
Commander of TNI Armed Forces
Director General of TNI Intelligence

Vice Delegate and Crown Prince of Balder
Prince of Jomsborg
Balder Statsminister
Balder Chief of Defence

GB&I Home Secretary
GB&I First Sea Lord

Chief Justice of Europeia

Member, Imperial Military Council, UIAF
Supreme Allied Commander, SRATO

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Tano
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Posts: 1441
Founded: Dec 20, 2012
Ex-Nation

Postby Tano » Wed Oct 29, 2014 5:59 pm

I actually found the article amusing...

I thought it was rather clever satire, but idk :unsure:
Tano Holland
Govindia: Do you consider me a friend, or just an acquaintance or what?
hobbes: I don't particularly consider anyone a true 'friend'
hobbes: at least,not on NS
Govindia: why is that?
hobbes: because
hobbes: everyone here is a jackass
hobbes: myself included

Pixie: *heart sploosh*
Tano: if your heart is splooshing you should contact a doctor
Tano: hearts are supposed to thump not sploosh
Pixie: No this is normal
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RiderSyl
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Founded: Jan 16, 2014
Ex-Nation

Postby RiderSyl » Thu Oct 30, 2014 1:57 pm

TLG, I think you've milked that old thread headline to the point of its utter drying up and falling off. :p
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The Lazarene Gazette
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Posts: 24
Founded: Oct 07, 2013
Ex-Nation

Postby The Lazarene Gazette » Thu Oct 30, 2014 2:30 pm

Image

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BRAINS! BRAINS!! BRAINS!!! BRAINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Brains, Brains Brains BRAINS Braaaains," Brains Brains, "Brainsss Braaaains Brains."

Brains Brains.

Braaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaains.

Brains.

Image
"Braaaaaaaains brains brains"
-Brains

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NoblePhnx
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Posts: 685
Founded: Jan 15, 2014
Ex-Nation

Postby NoblePhnx » Thu Oct 30, 2014 4:44 pm

Such. A. Good. Edition.
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Ramaeus
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Posts: 1024
Founded: Dec 18, 2012
Ex-Nation

Postby Ramaeus » Thu Oct 30, 2014 4:53 pm

Brilliant. Embrace the horde! Diabolus Ex Nihilo!
Just some weeb.

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The Lazarene Gazette
Lobbyist
 
Posts: 24
Founded: Oct 07, 2013
Ex-Nation

Postby The Lazarene Gazette » Tue Dec 09, 2014 1:23 pm

Image
Volume 3, Issue 1 | Editor (send hate mail here --> ): Ainin | Contributors: Kazmr, Ainin
Onwards in the Glorious March to Harmony!
Quote of the Moment: [10:59] <Feux> IRON IRON IRON IRON IRON


UNCATEGORISED | A Brief Letter from the Editor

Over the past month, we in Lazarus have worked hard to bring back to life (heh heh) the Lazarene Gazette as a periodical publication. We hope to bring out regular issues of the Gazette, to keep you informed of all that occurs in Lazarus and beyond.

If you have any constructive suggestions, feel free to contact the staff listed in the header above, and thanks for reading!

- Ainin
Governor of Information, People's Republic of Lazarus





OFFBEAT | BRAIIINNNNNSSSS!!!
By Kazmr

Image
Pictured: Hordes of brave undead comrades marching
to spread the equality of the undead to the bourgeois
That was the cry heard throughout Lazarus this past Halloween as the Mother Sinker, home of resurrected nations, became the domain of resurrected peoples of a different sort. While most regions made silly attempts to turn away the inevitable tide of zombies, the last gasp of a bourgeois leadership attempting to fend off mass collectivized brain harvesting, Lazarus embraced its namesake and became the mightiest zombie region on the face of the earth.

The decision truly reflects our socialist philosophy; as zombies we are all equals. From each according to how many brains he can offer, to each according to how hungry he is.

At final count, Lazarus led the world in both infected, with 947.88 billion zombies shuffling throughout the region, and in dead, 12.95 trillion of them. Survivors had to be sacrificed to increase brain production.

These world leading statistics demonstrate the power of our united action! Those who dared to enter the region with citizens still living found themselves embraced by the mass of the Lazarene hordes.

Truly it is a great day to be undead!




ELECTIONS | New Session of the People's Congress Elected By Lazarenes
By Ainin

It was election season again in the Mother Sinker as the 5-member People's Congress was dissolved after hitting its constitutional term limit. In the subsequent election, all four incumbents (Cultural Marshal Lenny did not stand for reelection) were returned to their office as proof of the support they enjoyed from the people due to the very active Congressional session that recently ended, which saw many new laws being passed and discussed, including major amendments to the Lazarene constitution and some less-serious bills like one concerning the zombie apocalypse that took NS by storm. Lazarene patriot and ex-general Horse took the fifth position.

A short three weeks later, Ainin resigned from Congress after being appointed as Governor of Information by Chairman Milograd and dedicated Lazarene Funkadelia, who served as chairman of the People's Republic until he stepped down in October, was unanimously elected by the people in a special election.

The People's Congress now consists of the dedicated Lazarene comrades Pergamon, Apollo, Horse, Funkadelia and Campinia.

Here's to another productive three months!




GOVERNMENT | Leadership Changes in the People's Republic
By Kazmr

It is not every month that our glorious People's Republic welcomes a Chairman into office. Not since the founding days of the PRL, though, have we witnessed two in short succession.

In the waning days of the Lazarus-Osiris 'war', Funkadelia made it known privately to some that he was considering stepping down from the Chairmanship sometime after its conclusion. A brief prank, wherein it was claimed that Aperi had been given control of the delegate nation, served as a prelude to this, but ultimately his thoughts turned to action when on October 12th Funkadelia announced his official resignation from the vanguard position of the Party.

"In the wake of our peace with Osiris, I feel that it is appropriate to step down from my position." He explained in his statement at the time. "I have done what I need to do for Lazarus, and now it is time for someone new to take the reigns in order to keep the People's Revolution marching on."

His successor would be determined by an election, the third such time one has been used to provide the Chairman with a member of the Party to appoint.

Several candidates announced their intention to run, initially Cameron, Aperi, and Ainin. A surprising development, though, was that the recently active Milograd, second Chairman of the PRL, first accepted a nomination as a joke only for him to decide to make a serious bid.

Tough campaigning followed, but when the votes began to flood in the people's choice became clearer. Milograd's early lead led to his competitors dropping from the race. Perhaps spurned by all he had accomplished almost a year ago exactly, Lazarus looked to its past to move towards the future.

Funkadelia confirmed the results on October 20th, and expectations were sky high. Unfortunately the second Milograd Chairmanship would be shirt lived.

Activity issues that had plagued Milograd for some time seemed to return almost immediately, capped off by a two week extended absence due to a real life concussion. Unfortunately, the beloved Chairman was unable to notify anyone of his absence and when taken with recent problems the worst was assumed. Still 20 endorsements from the delegacy seat, Lazarene leaders moved to secure the region lest it be held in absence.

Comrade Kazmr brought the situation to the notice of Feux, the Vice-Chairman, Stujenske, Culture Governor and temporary sitting delegate following Funkadelia's resignation, and the recently resigned Chairman himself, who after consultation with other current and former government officials elected to invoke an interpretation of a Constitutional article that Milograd himself had made nearly a year prior. The Chairman would be removed from office, replaced by the highest ranking Endorsee at the time.

On November 10, only three weeks after Milograd became Chairman, Stujenske rose to the same office.

Lazarus now looks forward to a long and prosperous era under a Chairman who has served the region for years in many positions.




Image OFFBEAT | In communist Lazarus, smiley use you! Image
By Ainin

It was a joyous scene on the steps of the Feux Hall for Forum Administration as Lazarene workers of all types celebrated the announcement of the introduction of many new emoticons to the forum, many crowdsourced from suggestions offered by the people and generously implemented by the forum administrators, by then-Chairman Milograd.

"With all these new smilies, I can now express my joy and support of the revolution more than ever before!" yelled a Lazarene citizen interviewed by the Gazette before proceeding to spin euphorically on his head.

Others had similar views as they enjoyed the new ways for the people to state their appreciation of what the state and party do for them. Armed with this new power of intellectual stimulation spread by the simple icons, the production levels of iron by the workers of the People's Republic will surely skyrocket over the following months!

Image <-- An example of the typical reaction

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Pauline Bonaparte
Spokesperson
 
Posts: 162
Founded: Oct 21, 2014
Mother Knows Best State

Postby Pauline Bonaparte » Tue Dec 09, 2014 4:14 pm

An excellent piece, written in a fiery, revolutionary spirit I can get behind!
Pauline Bonaparte
Senator, Carcassonne
Co-Founder, Taijitu

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Todd McCloud
Senator
 
Posts: 4088
Founded: Oct 11, 2006
Left-Leaning College State

Postby Todd McCloud » Wed Dec 10, 2014 4:04 pm

Once again, hope Milo's doing well, and congratulations to Chairman Stu (Stujenske)!
"Your uniform doesn't seem to fit. You're much too alive in it."

"You must be the change you want to see in the world" - Gandhi
"The worst prison would be a closed heart." - Pope John Paul II

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