Dear TBH
We had quite the history, going back about 5-7 years on and off, going through good and bad times, and I wanne talk about those bad times right now
Way back, close to when i first joined up (I think it was COE that first send me a recruitment TG), I was going through a lot IRL, being bullied, being a social outcast, failing school and coming to terms with my sexuality
It got me down, depressed, suicidal, and by just being the kind people you are, listening to my feelings, offering a listening ear, and most importantly just general conversation and fun raids, you saved my life
Yesterday night, we had a discussion in the skype group chat, a civil one at that, we may have our disagreements on merit based pay with pregencies, but I still respected Sev and Tramiar, jakker, festavo, kleo and the others
Then, you said it, it felt like a gutpunch, a disgusting low blow
"So, I am extremely glad PB is gay"
It sucked, I felt betrayed by the people I saw as family
"low blow"
"Go f yourself"
I was barely holding in my anger, I haven't felt such rage in over 4 years, I thought i left my uncontrollable anger behind, the feeling that I was going to hurt people, and myself if I didn't restrain myself
"Behave yourself PB"
Boom, I didn't hold it anymore, making such a low blow and down to me about behavior? no.
"I'm trying to be civil here, and you are being a massive (expletive) by dragging in my sexuality, go f yourself (expletive)"
"I'm out"
I left the chat and went to bed, it was late and I couldn't sleep, I felt betrayed, kicked away by the people I liked and trusted - and I cried like I haven't cried in so long, I came back online for a bit, talked to one of my few remaining friends, calmed down and managed to get some sleep afterwards
Heck, not many of you will care, but this isn't for you, I'm closing off a long chapter of my life and not looking back, put me on DoS, DEAT or whatever you like, I'm not coming back, not now, not ever
Have a pleasant life people, have fun raiding and good luck in your future endeavors, like I said in the chat
I'm out.
Posted: Mon Aug 03, 2015 8:19 am
